Wonderwall

 

It is perhaps only fitting that this game's winning points were scored by players wearing 19 and 96 (Michigan Athletics)

"Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you
By now, you should've somehow realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now

 

And backbeat, the word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before, but you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now"

--"Wonderwall" by Oasis, the fourth single from the band's 1995 album (What's the Story) Mornin Glory

"Wonderwall" is inevitable.  Dread it, run from it, Wonderwall arrives all the same.  2.1 billion streams on Spotify inevitable.  Inevitable as Michigan beating Ryan Day's Ohio State team.

Look, I'm not going to tell you I called this, or predicted this, or thought it was going to happen.  I spent much of this week hoping Michigan would just keep this game respectable, perhaps close until halftime, enough to say "ahh well, nevertheless" when Ohio State pulled away in the second half on their way to Indianapolis for the first time since 2020.  All good things and whatnot.

So, when Michigan held Ohio State to a field goal on their first offensive drive, it seemed like a win.  The dam was holding.  Then Michigan went on an 11-play, 72-yard drive, only to get stopped at the OSU 3.  I still liked the aggressiveness to go for it there, but it didn't work.  Except, well, fortune favors the bold, and three plays later, Michigan got an Aamir Hall pick and set up at the OSU 2.  Two Kalel Mullings runs later, and Michigan was up 7-3.  Michigan led in this game after both teams had possessed the ball.  This seemed unfathomable, and yet.  And yet.

There are so many small moments in this edition of The Game that add up.  Ohio State's missed field goals, the backbreaking interceptions that don't actually break anyone's back.  Michigan doing just enough to not let Ohio State possess the ball.  Ohio State doing just enough to make their fans mad.  But in the end, the legacy drive of this game is going to be the final field goal drive.  Michigan counted Kalel Mullings (and a sprinkling of Jordan Marshall) to bring them home.  There was only one spectacular run, and it was when Mullings ran into the line on third down, got nothing, and bounced outside for 27 yards to put Michigan not only within Zvada's range, but inside the red zone with a fresh set of downs.  Michigan could now burn more clock and hope to, at worst, come away with a three-point lead.  That Ryan Day helped matters by attempting to call a second straight timeout, which had been illegal since 2023, and having to take an illegal substitution penalty out of a time out, gifting Michigan first and goal on the four meant they had to burn the remainder of their time outs, watch Zvada kick the field goal, and then hope they could get something together in the remaining 45 seconds They could not.  Michigan got some pressures; Howard and his all-America receivers could only muster one yard, and Michigan could, once more, kneel it out.

And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
But I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Had I written this on Saturday, I might have had some thoughts about the post-game unpleasantness that might have seemed original or novel, but in the harsh light of Sunday morning, it is best to look at it as a thing that happened, and we can move on from it.

Michigan ended up being inevitable in a way that Ohio State felt like in the 2010s, in a way that Michigan felt like in the 1990s.  This game was a wonderful combination of the 1993, 1995, and 1996 editions of The Game.  Michigan underperformed expectations all year, even when adjusted for context, but they actually did start playing better as November wound on.  One of the questions that I saw people raising during the week was whether Sherrone "got" The Game and would he be able to demonstrate something novel, something big in the face of the overwhelming odds.  And then they just went out and won The Game with this version of Michigan against that version of Ohio State.  Michigan assures it won't finish below .500 this season, even with the likely opt-outs in the bowl game.  Michigan gets some recruiting and portal momentum going into the off-season.  No one knows what next season holds.  But for this season, a beautiful capper of an often frustrating and confusing year.  Ohio beaten, once more.

Tales from the Spreadsheet

• 13-10 is NOT a Scorigami (2000 Wisconsin, the only other entry, which was win #800).
  
• 106,005 were in attendance.
  
  
• Michigan moves to 62-52-6 all-time against Ohio State University
  
• Michigan moves to 3-5-0 all-time on November 30 (There's a lot of Ohio State games in there, including the 1918, which was the first time these two teams ended the season with each other.  It also includes the 1905 loss to Chicago 2-0, where the 56-game unbeaten streak by Yost's 1901-1905 teams.)
  
  
• Michigan moves to 19-16-1 when scoring exactly 13 points (yes, that includes the 1992 tie with OSU).
• Michigan moves to 57-10-1 all-time when allowing 10 points to the opposition (Yes, that includes the 10-10 tie in the 1973 Ohio State game.)
• Michigan has won 50 games all-time by precisely 3 points, most recently, this year's Jug game.

She's a Rainbow

The sweetest buffs of the year.  (Bryan Fuller)

Have you seen her dressed in blue?

See the sky in front of you

And her face is like a sail

Speck of white, so fair and pale

Have you seen a lady fairer?

On a week where Jim Harbaugh referenced Ted Lasso, and the MMB made a "Believe" sign during halftime, it is perhaps fitting that today's column takes its name from one of the finest needle drops in the series.

When not thinking about the holiday this week, most of my spare time was fluctuating between dread and complete dread about this game.  Everything on paper said that these were two evenly matched teams, except one was without its head coach due to a suspension.  Would that be too much?  Would Michigan, being at home and united under the "Michigan vs. Everybody" mantra, find a way to do it?  It was a different feeling than what I had felt going into The Game for much of the last decade.  Most of the time, I was hoping Michigan could find a way to pull it off, only to have that hope dashed either quickly, or crushingly, or sometimes both.  2021 allowed Michigan fans to dream again, and 2022 allowed Michigan fans to feel something wholly different, something ancient awakened in our souls —the dream of the '90s was alive in Ann Arbor.

But 2023 has been a ride.  A completely stupid ride.  One that I regret spending so much mental energy on, as elucidated by BryMac in Punt/Counterpunt this week.  But it was perhaps inevitable, given that you spend so much time thinking about Michigan football.  These were the narratives, the things that had to be mulled over, and there they were.  Narratives aren't reality; we try to predict the story based on what has happened before. It's one of the most basic reading comprehension skills we teach children.  But we cannot predict the future; we are not clairvoyant, and our tendency to catastrophize is a means of guarding ourselves against the disappointment to come later.  But we cannot lose sight of hope.

She comes in colours everywhere

She combs her hair

She's like a rainbow

Coming colours in the air

Oh, everywhere

She comes in colours

See, hope comes in colors.  Sometimes it's the mono-blue uniforms that Michigan has made a new tradition at home against Ohio State.  Sometimes it's the steel gray sky of the late fall in the Midwest.  Sometimes it's the polarized brown of the buffs after not one, but two critical interceptions, one to get things rolling, and one to close the door.  But hope will sit with you as Michigan bleeds clock in the fourth quarter until Ryan Day starts calling some time-outs.  You start to think about how one more first down will win this game.  You hope that kicking the field goal to go up six is the right call.  You wonder if hope is leaving early to beat traffic when Kyle McCord keeps completing passes.  But then, Michigan got just enough pressure on McCord to force him into a bad throw, and Rod Moore got both hands under it, and you realize that yes, hope has left the building, not because she abandoned you, but because hope has become reality once more.   

Have you seen her all in gold?

Like a queen in days of old

She shoots colours all around

Like a sunset going down

Have you seen a lady fairer?

Michigan still has some work to do.  Another matchup with a 10-2 Iowa squad in Indy.  Win that, and Michigan heads back to Pasadena for the first time since New Year's Day 2007 in what is, in some ways, the last real Rose Bowl.  Maybe it's Michigan/Washington for a fitting farewell, but there is still too much daylight between now and selection Sunday to make any predictions.  But as I think about the future, I am reminded of the past.

Ten years ago, a flawed Michigan team went blow-for-blow with #3 Ohio State in the Big House.  Trailing by 7, Michigan drove 84 yards in 100 seconds to score a touchdown, making it 42-41.  Hoke asked the players if they wanted to go for the win.  They said they did; they came out with a two-point conversion play.  Ohio State called a timeout.  Michigan came back out with the same play, and Ohio State knocked it down to survive Michigan's upset bid.  I wondered at that time who Michigan football was for, and what Michigan football was for.  Ten years later, I came to the same conclusion: it is for them.  These players wanted all of this, and this time, they got it.  Three in a row against Ohio State.  What a time, what a team.  Onward to Indy.

She's like a rainbow

Coming colours in the air

Oh, everywhere

She comes in colours

--"She's a Rainbow" by the Rolling Stones from their 1967 album Their Satanic Majesties Request

Tales from the Spreadsheet

• Win 1,001
• 30-24 IS a Scorigami (I know, I'm just as surprised as you are.) (Five of Michigan's 12 games thus far this season have been Scorigamis.)
• 110,615 was the attendance (the smallest home crowd to watch Michigan play a football game against Ohio State since the 1997 game).
  
  
• Michigan moves to 61-52-6 all-time against the Ohio State University.
• Michigan has won three straight over Ohio State.  Three straight for the first time since 1995-1997.
• Michigan moves to 11-6-1 all-time on November 25, 6-5 vs Ohio State on this date.  It marks Michigan's first win on this date since 1995, which allows me to yell BIAKA for a good reason.
  
  
• Michigan moves to 9-1 when scoring exactly 30 points (the loss is 31-30 to 1988 Miami).
• Michigan moves to 17-18 all-time when allowing 24 points to the opposition.
• Michigan has won 30 games all-time by precisely 6 points, most recently the 2020 Rutgers 3 OT game.  (Fun Fact: Michigan also beat Ohio State by a six-point margin in 1997 to finish an undefeated regular season).

Losing a Whole Year

I mean, it's kind of a metaphor (David Guralnick/Detroit News)

I probably should wait to write this, because right now, I genuinely feel like Michigan may never beat Ohio State again.  I don't see how it can happen.  I don't see a path forward.  I just see year after year of having to eat this.  They never go fallow.  They never get punished meaningfully.  They never suffer transition costs.  They just keep doing and doing and doing.  Michigan can come out and play reasonably good football and it will just keep getting smoked by Ohio State.  I don't see how it will ever be different.  I want to feel differently, I want to feel something that isn't meaningless existential dread at the end of every November.  I want this to be different and I genuinely do not feel like it ever will be because no one can explain to me how it can be.

I went into today believing that Michigan was likely going to lose this football game.  I had no real reason to believe that Michigan would win.  I sat surrounded by bro OSU fans who ran their mouths the whole game.  I just sat there, largely silent, wanting more than anything for this to be different and knowing that it wouldn't be.  This is a stupid feeling and I should have been more prepared for it, but here we are, hours later, and I am still just soul numbed.  I don't want to feel like this.  I don't want to be like this, so upset about the result of a college football game.  But because I wanted the joy of something going against the script, against the expected, the price paid is this feeling.

The only way Michigan had a chance to win this game was to play perfectly.  So when the first extra point play resulted in a bad hold and a miss, it pretty much was over, even if it was just the first possession.  The miscues were plentiful, the decisions occasionally maddening, but the same result happened one more time.

No one knows how to fix this, short of Ohio State being found guilty of massive NCAA violations, and even then, I'm sure they'd figure out a way to roll with it and go back to winning double-digit games every year.  Michigan may never beat Ohio State again and I don't know if knowing that is likely true is comforting or not.  (If you would like to share your rational and feasible plan for this to not be the case, please, by all means.  It still won't likely be enough.)

Nothing's been the same since New York

(This morning, we're teaming up with the Action Cookbook newsletter for a little Black Friday preview of The Game.  If you are a regular here, this will not be anything new, but if you came to us via the Cookbook, we welcome you.  If you'd like to subscribe to the Action Cookbook newsletter, please click here.) 

Iron Man 2 is still the better movie.  This is my most controversial MCU opinion. (Disney/Marvel Studios)

"Nothing's been the same since New York."

Perhaps because the holiday season is upon us, this simple expositional quote from Tony Stark in Iron Man 3 has been resonating in my head. Because the Michigan football version of this has been "Nothing's been the same since Bo died."

Let me unequivocally state before we go any further that this is not an effort to elicit pathos from the reader. Michigan fans know damn well no one will shed one tear for a program that has built its reputation and veritable mythos around being the leaders and best, the winningest, the very top of the heap. The Michigan man thing is mocked, and perhaps we could stand to be knocked down a peg, maybe that's true. Many Michigan fans are more than willing to laugh at themselves and the notions of what Michigan thinks it is, especially relative to what it is and has become.

But as Michigan fans also tend to be sentimental and romantic about the past, that day, November 17, 2006, is an easy thing to point to as defining. The moment when everything changed.

Ohio State does not get enough credit for it nationally. Still, the reality of the Buckeyes is simple: They never go fallow. Their "down years" are when they only win ten games.  Only one team since 2004 has failed to win double-digit games, the 2011 team interim coached by Luke Fickell, the season that led immediately to the hiring of Urban Meyer. Ohio State never misses a beat. There were those dreamers, and even realists, in the Michigan fan community that thought 2019 would be the year. New coach, even with the talent, you never know what could happen. Nope, Ohio State looks every bit the Big Ten juggernaut it has since the turn of the millennium, maybe even more so given their defensive improvement.

There are plenty of practical reasons why you can point to Ohio State's dominance in the rivalry this century, with nary an aspersion cast at OSU. You can look to their generally excellent recruiting year in and year out. You can cite tremendous player development during this time. You can credit a single-minded Cato the Elder-like devotion to destroying Michigan and salting the earth. You can look at the shifts in population trends in Michigan, Ohio, and the greater Midwest and how that impacts recruiting in this day and age. You can look at other factors that sound a bit whiny and cheap. In the end, it still comes down to a straightforward thing, Ohio State wins, Michigan loses.

Tempo-Free Hate 2013-2014: Bo Ryan's Revenge!

Last year, between the Ohio and Wisconsin games, we spent the time wondering why do we all hate Aaron Craft so much? To answer this question, we proposed the Four Factors of Hate, and used these factors to find the Big Ten leaders in Tempo-Free Hate. This year, the question of why we all hate Aaron Craft was answered once and for all when Doug Gottlieb blamed this on the ball being too slippery:

GIF by Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog)

Even though unwarranted media attention and apologia are good reasons to be annoyed by a player, the Four Factors of Hate try to quantify just what makes a player so annoying using only the stats on the floor. The four factors are:

• Steals per personal foul (ST/PF). Also known as handchecking ability, or Craftiness.

• Ability to draw fouls (Free Throw Attempts/(Minutes Played * Usage %)).  Jordan Morgan is not as bad at this as you think.

• Three-Point Specialization (3FG/FG). The "Just A Shooter" Award.

• Free Throw Percentage (FT%). For those annoying players who just Win The Game. Since all players are supposed to be able to shoot free throws reasonably well FT% only counts half as much as the other three.

All stats come from Sports Reference College Basketball, except for team adjusted tempo, which is pulled from the front page at kenpom. Who is the most annoying player in the Big Ten? Find out after the jump!

Regulate, by Gordon Gee f. Frank Dogg

Gordon Gee and Frank Dogg will regulate higher eduction in Ohio and the final resting place of your soul.

[Gee:]
Regulators
We regulate any stealing on the Olentangy
And we damn good too
But you can't be any geek off the street,
Gotta be handy with the football if you know what I mean, earn your keep!
REGULATORS!!! MOUNT UP!

[Gee:]
It was a dark gray night, a scarlet moon
Gordon Gee was on the streets, trying to consume
Diet Dr. Pepper for the eve, so I can get some funk
Just rollin' in my ride, chillin' with Urban

[Frank:]
Just hit the Eastside of the B-1-G
On a mission trying to find Mr. Gordon Gee.
Seen a car full of girls, promised not to score
All you nuns know what's up in the 614

[Gee:]
So I hooks a left on the 5th and Summit
Some brothas fillin' paperwork so I said "Let's do it"
I jumped out the ride, and said "What's up?"
Emmert made some allegations so I said "I'm stuck."

[Frank:]
Since these girls peepin' me I'ma wash their feet
Social justice for the poor would keep them off the street
Turn their lives around like nabbing a pick-six
Then I see my homies and some suckers all in their mix

[Gee:]
I'm gettin jacked, I'm breakin' myself
I can't believe they taking Gordon's wealth
They vacated my rings, they vacated my Rolex
I looked at Urban and said damn, what's next?

[Frank:]
They got my homies hemmed up and they all around
Ain't none of them seeing if they going straight pound for pound
I gotta come up real quick before they start to clown
I best pull off my hat and lay them busters down

[Gee:]
NCAA's got guns to my head
I think I'm going down
I can't believe this happenin' in my own town
SEC speed would let me fly
But twelve and oh won't let me pull rank
Then I glanced in the cut and I see my homey Frank

[Frank:]
Sixteen rosaries in the clip to help my clientele
Frank Dogg is about to send some demons back to hell
Now they droppin' and writhin'
It's a tad bit late
Frank Dogg and Gordon Gee had to regulate

I laid all them devils down
I let God's love explode
Now I'm switching my mind back into virtue mode
If you want to help the poor sit back and observe
I just left a gang of those over there on the curb

[Gee:]
Now Frank can't be trusted and that's a known fact
All of them Papists are on the wrong track
But that's OK, back up cause it's on
F R A N K and me
The Gordon to the Gee

[Frank:]
Just like I thought they were in the same spot in need of some desperate help
The Frank Dogg and the Gee-child were in need of something else
One of them dames was desparate to flow, she said "O-H" and Urban said "I-O."
She said "my car's broke down and you seem real nice, would ya help me get to go?"
Popemobile's full of girls and it's going real swell, the next stop is Gee's house on North Drexel

[Gee:]
I'm tweaking B-1-G into a whole new era
Gee-Funk, step to this, I dare ya
Funk on a presidential level

[Frank:]
64K for bow ties cause the ties are worth the trouble

[Gee:]
Ties
Suspenders
We brings
Spectacles
Gee-Funk
Where argyle is socks
And socks are argyle

[Frank:]
If you know like I know
You don't wanna step to this
It's the Gee-Funk era
Funked out with a papal twist
If you burn incense like I burn
Then you high like everyday
We're the Knights of Columbus
614 will regulate

Thanks to Craig, Michael Davies, and others for suggesting particular couplets.

Aaron Craft and the Four Factors of Hate

While thinking about Tuesday's game against Ohio State, I was struck like I walked through a plate-glass window by the observation that, although Deshaun Thomas is clearly OSU's most valuable player, Michigan fans didn't experience massive schadenfreude in seeing him lose. Instead, we were filled with glee to see Aaron Craft lying on the floor in defeat. Part of the reason I find Craft so annoying is that he's the beneficiary and victim of Ecksteinism, or "scrappy white guy media affection." Another part of the reason is that his aggressive defense always makes you wonder, "How on earth was that not a foul?"

I'm not going to try and quantify media overexposure in this post. What I'm going to try to do here is use nothing but freely-avaiable statistics to try and predict which players in Big Ten men's basketball inspire the most hatred in opposing fanbases solely by the way they play. I downloaded data for all Big Ten men's players this season, including conference and non-conference games through February 7, and then eliminated the players who haven't seen the court for at least 100 minutes. This left a dataset of 113 players for which I attempted to determine "The Four Factors of Hate."

The first factor I came up, inspired by Craft, is steals per personal foul. There are two kinds of players who can rack up the steals and not the fouls: the player who never gets whistled for overaggressive defense and the player who is actually really good at stealing the ball. Both of those players will drive you crazy when there's on the other team. Here's the leaderboard for ST/PF:

Rank	Player	Team	ST/PF
1	Tim Frazier	PSU	1.125
2	Austin Hollins	MINN	1.023
3	Branden Dawson	MSU	1.000
4	Victor Olapido	IND	0.931
5	Aaron Craft	OSU	0.860
6	Shannon Scott	OSU	0.857
7	Julian Welch	MINN	0.818
8	D.J. Richardson	ILL	0.809
9T	Josh Oglesby	IOWA	0.800
9T	Joe Coleman	MINN	0.800

The second factor is the ability to draw fouls. Sports Reference College Basketball doesn't have this listed as a stat, so I estimated it with the formula ADF = Free Throw Attempts/(Minutes Played * Usage %). This stat favors the frontcourt, with centers and forwards occupying eight of the top nine spots. Two factors in and it's clear Penn State really misses Tim Frazier.

Rank	Player	Team	ADF
1	Amir Williams	OSU	1.268
2	Aaron White	IOWA	1.080
3	Tim Frazier	PSU	1.020
4	Cody Zeller	IND	1.006
5	Trevor Mbakwe	MINN	0.972
6	Andre Ingram	MINN	0.894
7	Abodunrin Gabriel Olaseni	IOWA	0.861
8	Maurice Walker	MINN	0.852
9	Melsahn Basabe	IOWA	0.801
10	Pat Ingram	IOWA	0.793

The third factor measures three-point specialization: it's the fraction of made field goals that are three-pointers, of 3FG/FG. A whopping 92% of Penn State's Nick Colella's made shots are from outside the arc, almost 14% more that #2 Josh Oglesby.

Rank	Player	Team	3FG/FG
1	Nick Colella	PSU	0.920
2	Josh Oglesby	IOWA	0.784
3T	Kale Abrahamson	NU	0.733
3T	Travis Trice	MSU	0.733
5	Maurice Creek	IND	0.727
6	D.J. Byrd	PUR	0.712
7	George Marshall	WISC	0.700
8	Jordan Hulls	IND	0.667
9	Nik Stauskas	MICH	0.624
10	Maverick Ahamnisi	MINN	0.600

After the jump, read about the fourth factor and see the leaderboards of hate.

Seal Block: Special ohio Unit

Land-Grant Holy Land is reporting that ohio is updating their athletic logo and their official seal and, in the words of Luke Zimmerman, this "ruins everything." As the sports blogosphere's leading authority on university seals, we can't let this change go unremarked. Let's take a look at the old and the new:

Image modified from Land-Grant Holy Land.

So there is one big change and one big no-change. The big no-change is simple: this was the time to get rid of the small caps and put "THE" on equal footing with the rest of the university name. If you insist on calling your school "The Ohio State University," why wouldn't you make your seal say it? Just shift that ribbon down a little and you've got room.

The big change is something that should be problematic for any academic institution. The circular O on the shield has been replaced with the Block O that has signified ohio's athletics since 1958. That's the tail wagging the dog. It's not just something Mark Emmert says to himself to feel better at night, it's actually true: academics come first. Among other FBS schools, only TCU, East Carolina, and Rice have obvious links to their athletic team names on their official seals, and Rice in particular is forgiven because Owls are a well-established symbol of wisdom. (We're even forgiving ohio the buckeye leaf. It predates the athletic department.)

Last year's failed University of California System rebranding failed because the new logo was both modern and dated: it looked like it was made around 2010, and if it had been permanently adopted, it would look like it was made around 2010 a hundred years from now. Having an obviously dated seal isn't necessarily horrible - when we ranked the seals of the Big Ten, Purdue's 1960s-style seal had a modest amount of support - but it's not as good as a well-established classic. Even if classics are the best, a new seal can still have a timeless feel: Memphis's recent rebranding (warning: PDF) is a great example of a well-designed new university seal.

But seriously, ohio, you can't put your athletic logo on your official seal. This supports every stereotype you hear in Ann Arbor. That ohio only cares about winning The Game and mucking Fichigan and, in order to do that, they'll let their athletic department run roughshod over the university to the point that it actually changed the official seal. If you want to update the seal, just add some color: put in some scarlet and gray to replace the pencil shading. Be a university your athletic department can be proud of.

As for your hideous new athletic logo and wordmark: we have no particular opinion on that. We're a Michigan blog. As far as we're concerned, all your athletic designs are hideous.

Incomprehension

A thousand words... (AP Photo/Jay LaPrete)

In the end, I'm never going to understand this, I'm never going to understand them, I'm never going to understand that feeling.  Jim Tressel is honored during the first quarter break of the Michigan/Ohio State game for his 2002 National Championship season, and he is carried off the field by his players to a standing ovation at the Horseshoe.  Ohio proceeds to get its act together and win 26-21 to complete a perfect 12-0 season.  A season in which they are ineligible for a bowl game because of NCAA sanctions related to Jim Tressel's failure to report what he knew about illegal benefits being given to his players to his superiors.  A season in which they are ineligible for the B1G championship game next weekend because of the post-season sanctions.  But it doesn't matter, a standing ovation for what Tressel did, not how Tressel got caught.

So I'm never going to understand this.  Michigan, by contrast, offered up a 10 year disassociation ban with Chris Webber and the other players in the Ed Martin scandal, a ban which will not end until May 2013.  David Brandon is on record (in the Fab Five documentary last year) that Webber will be welcomed back to Michigan after that ban ends provided he apologizes for what he did to the Michigan basketball program, which seems really unlikely.  Michigan looked at what it had done wrong and fell on its sword (admittedly with its basketball program, not the football program.)  Ohio State, on the other hand, is welcoming back the root cause of its problems and petitioning the White House for a pardon.

So I'm never going to understand them.  Urban Meyer's a hell of a coach, a single-minded perfectionist who will not settle for anything less than perfection.  And he did it, he got perfection out of an imperfect squad. Meanwhile, Michigan had a lead at the half and did exactly nothing to adjust to win the game.  Think about it, the defense, the poor exhausted defense, allowed just two field goals in the second half, and they lost because Michigan forgot all of the awesome stuff they tried on offense last week.  It's like they wanted to PROVE to Ohio  State that they could run up the middle and Ohio State was more than happy to remind them, no you can't.  And so, Ohio State pitched a second half shutout and the last mercurial moments of a storm-tossed career for Denard Robinson ended with both a stunning highlight reel run and a horrific stuff up the middle on fourth down, and then a fumble.

Upside down... (Jamie Sabau/Getty Images)

So I'm never going to understand this feeling.  Michigan lost four games away from home to what look to be the two teams in the BCS National Championship game, a likely Rose Bowl participant, and team that finished an undefeated season.  They were in three of those four games, but they couldn't close the deal.  So we're 8-4 headed to Bowl season, where pretty much everyone had us before the season started.  Yet, it feels so empty, no upsets, no missed opportunities against lesser foes, plenty of moments where victory was snatched out of the jaws of defeat, but also moments where things were given away in the most incomprehensible fashion.

So Orlando or Tampa for New Year's and back to where we were.  I guess it is true, meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

Hail Hail.

Breaking! Must credit HSR. Urban Meijer hires assistant coaches.

Although some news reports indicate that Urban Meijer is, in fact, not a store and actually a human being who goes by the unlikely name of "Urban Meyer," this is a clearly-perpetrated smokescreen designed by the Ohio athletic department in order to misdirect Michigan from knowing their true plans. However, we here at Hoover Street Rag have not fallen for the ruse, and we have discovered that Urban Meijer has all but locked up the following assistant coaches, who will be revealed after the jump.

I'm confused by this Urban Meijer thing

I have to admit that I am befuddled by today's announcement that Ohio is hiring an Urban Meijer as their next head football coach. It was my understanding that the Meijer clan is exclusively rural and suburban, and having checked the central areas of Detroit, Lansing, Kalamazoo, Chicago, and Cincinnati, I am uncertain as to whether this Urban Meijer even exists. The smaller new concept store in Melrose Park, Illinois, near the CTA Blue Line may be the Urban Meijer, but I am not certain. I thought that Grand Rapids would be the most likely home of an Urban Meijer, but it turns out that even there they are merely suburban in location. It may be that Ohio plans to design, break ground, and construct an Urban Meijer in Columbus in time for the 2012 football season.

Having a store serve as head coach causes obvious logistical difficulties. Not only will Urban Meijer be unable to travel to road games, he (all news reports have been referring to the neuter Urban Meijer as a he) will not be able to fit inside Ohio Stadium without severely cutting into its seating capacity or covering up a significant portion of the field. No wonder, then, that there are rumors that Luke Fickell will stay on as assistant head coach, as Ohio will need a more ambulatory coach to handle gameday sideline duties.

Urban Meijer's inability to move will definitely affect his ability to recruit as he will be unable to make home visits to promising players - it goes without saying that hiring capable assistants as recruiters will be a must. However, when recruits come to Columbus on their campus visit he should be able to relate to them well: being ensconced in the inner city should give him a deep empathy for the problems of recruits with unstable family situations, and his competitive prices on thousands of items make it clear that he has something to offer every recruit.

The New York City-based Reputation Institute ranks him as one of the Top 30 most reputable coaches, but a scan of the Meijer corporate website shows a potential willingness to look the other way when it comes to NCAA violations. The first problem is their motto, "Higher standards. Lower prices." While higher standards are clearly laudable at any academic institution, I believe it was lower prices on tattoos that got Ohio into the NCAA mess in which they are currently embroiled. Looking deeper into the website, it appears as though Meijer offers team members the ability to "save instantly on thousands of products not at stores." If Urban Meijer participates in this offer Ohio will be looking at serious sanctions as a repeat rules violator.

Despite those concerns, I think Michigan fans should be wary of the many positives that Urban Meijer will bring to the Ohio program. Based on my scouting of the Ann Arbor-Saline Road and Carpenter Road locations, he will be up 24 hours a day, 7 days a week coaching his players, breaking down film, devising game plans for upcoming opponents, and he will always be sure to keep some of his focus on "that corporate headquarters up north." He will also have excellent ties with Big Ten Network sponsors as he will have shelves stuffed with Rotel products. If he brings the Meijer values of being customer-centered, having a competitive spirit, and promoting freshness and familyness to Columbus, he will definitely improve the Buckeyes' record next year while promoting teamwork and loyalty, and Ohio will be a force to be reckoned with on and off the field.

Michigan Defense Theater Experiment 1112: Brady Hoke Conquers the Buckeyes

THEME SONG

In the not too distant future, Saturday A.D.

There was a guy named Jordan, not too different from you or me

He worked at Schembechler Institute, just another face in a maize jumpsuit

He did a good job cleaning up the place, but his bosses kinda liked him so they made him play in space

(Curse you GERG!)

We'll send him speedy runners, the best we can find

He'll have to stop, tackle them all as we monitor his mind

Now keep in mind he can't control when the games begin or end

He'll try to keep his sanity with the help of his D-Line friends...

D-LINE ROLL CALL!

Martin! (I'm Captain!)

Heininger! (Left side!)

Van Bergen! (Where've you been?)

Rooooooooooooooooh! (I'm sophomore!)

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes and other science facts

He's got a meal card and it's set on earth so you can really just relax

For Michigan Defense Theater 3000.

FADE IN TO:

INT. SATELLITE OF YOST

JORDAN

Hi, everyone. It's just a regular Thursday in most of Windsor, but it's Thanksgiving here at the Satellite of Yost. I'm Jordan Kovacs and the D-line and I are counting the things we are thankful for.

ROH

I'm thankful for Coach Hoke and Coach Mattison for finally teaching me how to play defense. And I'm thankful for Coach Borges for improving the offense to the point where we don't have to carry them anymore.

JORDAN

Roh, I'm not looking for sarcasm right now! We should be genuinely grateful for Coach Borges and the offense, who help us out when we're not at our best. Although, admittedly, it's been a while since we haven't been at our best.

VAN BERGEN

I'm thankful for Jim Delany and Don Beebe, who have worked together to make the Big Ten bigger and better than ever.

HEININGER

I'm thankful for the 100,000+ fans that come out and support us every home game. I'd name every one, but we do need to play a game on Saturday.

JORDAN

Indeed you should thank them, Heininger. And I'm even thankful for the Mads, who have furnished the Satellite of Yost with a fabulous stuffed animal collection. Hey, they're calling right now.

JORDAN pushes the red button.

More Pairwise Math

At the moment, Saturday's loss to OSU looks to be harmless. Michigan is still tied for #2 in the Pairwise. Sure, Notre Dame replaced Vermont as the team we're tied with, and since they have the tiebreakers on us, that means we're on the outside looking in at the Grand Rapids regional. But they flipped their comparison with the Catamounts and there was nothing we could do about that. The real damage is in the Michigan vs. Miami Pairwise comparison, which is now like a Sword of Damocles hanging over the Wolverines.

This is what the Michigan/Miami comparison looks like today:

					Michigan vs. Miami
			0.5706	1	RPI	0	0.5477
8	5	0	0.6154	0	Win % vs. TUC	0	0.6250	4	2	2
17	6	0	0.7391	0	Win % vs. COp	1	0.7750	14	3	3
2	2	0		2	Head-to-Head	2		2	2	0
				3	Total	3

Look at the "Win % vs. TUC" category again. Miami has a better record, but since they haven't reached the 10-win threshold (when the head-to-head series is taken out) it isn't counted. This weekend, they play OSU. A team under consideration. If they sweep, they win the category and the comparison, even if we sweep Ferris State. This is how the table will look then:

					Michigan vs. Miami
			0.5706	1	RPI	0	0.5477
8	5	0	0.6154	0	Win % vs. TUC	1	0.7000	6	2	2
19	6	0	0.7600	0	Win % vs. COp	1	0.7955	16	3	3
2	2	0		2	Head-to-Head	2		2	2	0
				3	Total	4

This would've been different had the Wolverines swept Ohio State. They still would've had a chance to control their own destiny. Assuming a Michigan sweep over Ferris and a Miami sweep over OSU, Michigan still would lose the TUC comparison (by .0077), but would've held onto the Common Opponents category by the barest of margins: 0.8000 to 0.7955. It would've been almost insignificant, but just enough, giving Michigan the 4-3 overall edge.

What has to happen now for Michigan to maintain the edge over Miami is 1.) Sweep Ferris and 2.) Ohio State has to take one game over Miami in regulation/standard OT. If that comes to pass, Michigan takes a very strong 5-2 lead over Miami in the eyes of the Pairwise.

All of this can still be rendered academic by the CCHA conference tournament. Even if Miami sweeps OSU and hangs onto the TUC and COp categories, they'll be hard-pressed to catch us in RPI. If Michigan holds an RPI advantage and defeats Miami in the semi-finals, that's another win added to the head-to-head comparison, which would put Michigan back into a tie, which would be broken by RPI in Michigan's favor.

In conclusion: This sucks, but the suckage can be rendered moot by winning. Go Blue.

The Mathematics of Beating OSU

Another week, another titanic shift in the Pairwise rankings. As far as we're concerned, the big news is Michigan jumping up to #2 after Notre Dame's split with Ohio State. The Wolverines are tied with Northeastern for that spot, but own the comparison with the Huskies, and thus the tiebreaker. It really is a knife's edge, though. Take a look at the full chart at CHN: Michigan, Northeaster, Vermont, and Notre Dame all have 21 or 22 comparison wins over the field. Lose a game, and suddenly you're the #5 overall seed. And sometimes you don't even have to lose to have a comparison flip on you. Remember the TUC cliff?

As a refresher, the Pairwise Rankings consider four factors when comparing two teams: head-to-head record, RPI, record against common opponents, record against teams under consideration (TUCs), but you have to have played 10 TUCs for that comparison to be used.

For instance, let's consider Michigan and Miami. Head-to-head record is 2-2, so two points to each team for that. Michigan's RPI is better, so they get a point. Miami's record against common opponents is better: point, Redhawks. Miami has only played 8 TUCs, so that comparison is not used. Michigan and Miami are tied 3-3 here, and we use RPI to break the tie. Michigan takes the comparison. HOWEVA. Miami has played 8 TUCs, which are defined as the top 25 teams by RPI. They play Ohio State twice to close out the season. As OSU is currently a TUC, that would allow them to meet the 10-game requirement. If both teams win out, Miami's record against common opponents is still better and now their record against TUCs is better, flipping the comparison over to them. Maddening, I know, but that's the way the Pairwise works.

What that means is that this weekend's series against the Buckeyes is much bigger than even a regular UM/OSU brawl: It's fighting for position at the top of the Pairwise, fighting for a spot in the Grand Rapids regional against the soft underbelly of Atlantic Hockey or College Hockey America. Win, get a Miami loss, and life is looking a lot easier. If not, drop below Notre Dame and you have to fight harder to not get sent to Minneapolis.

So, what are our chances? KRACH is here to answer that. KRACH is meant to use ratios between teams' KRACH ratings to give a predicted winning percentage. For example, the expected winning percentage of a team with a KRACH of 150 playing a team with a KRACH of 50 is .750.

Michigan's expected win pct. vs. OSU = Michigan KRACH / (OSU KRACH + Michigan KRACH)

Michigan currently sports a shiny KRACH rating of 402, while OSU is up to a rather healthy 197.8. That gives Michigan an expected winning percentage of .6702. The probability of two independent events both occurring is the product of the probability of either one occurring separately (i.e., P(A and B) = P(A)*P(B)). Michigan has a 67.02% chance of winning on either night against OSU, so the probability of a sweep is 44.92%, going by KRACH. Not great odds, but I'll take 'em. OSU only has a 10.88% chance of a sweep, leaving a 44.2% chance that we split.*

Michigan's been playing decent hockey since the Bowling Green loss, while OSU has been doing weird things, like only getting a pair of ties out of four opportunities against Western and State (though they got a win againt Western in the shootout) while beating Notre Dame and almost sweeping them but for some late-period heroics by the Irish.

Meanwhile, root for Northern to upset Miami down in Oxford. We'll take any help we can get. And really pull for the Bucks when Miami comes calling.

*Odds of Michigan winning out for the rest of the season? A moderately robust 30.1%.

UPDATE: Excellent catch/clarification by Brian, reproduced here verbatim: "Miami's TUC record is actually 6-4-2, but head to head games are excluded from that category in each individual comparison, leaving Miami at 4-2-2 for the purposes of its Michigan comparison." So for the purposes of everyone not in the CCHA, Miami is a TUC.

MNC suggestion

In case you were on the fence about who to root for tonight, remember how far "conference pride" goes from their side: Cheering for the Buckeyes means wanting all those people to be really happy again. Though we've had to grow accustomed to it, OSU woofing is far worse than SEC woofing. Not to mention the edge in recruiting this would get them.

An OSU win can only hurt Michigan. Geaux Tigers.

Live-Blog: Hockey vs. OSU, 11/30/07

MICHIGAN! OHIO STATE! LIVEBLOG!

So Fred from FSN was in some sort of car crash, and this is his first game back. Good luck to him and his wife.

Michigan hasn't lost at Yost since Jan. 14, vs. Northern. FSN spotlights Porter, who you may have heard is pretty good. OSU has a bunch of freshmen too, and will be playing 10 tonight. Tommy Goebel, like TBTYB says, was a Spartan for two years.

Space, bitches. Space.

Pictures of people doing the O-H-I-O YMCA thing. Fail.

The crowd wants you to know that Joseph Palmer is a sieve. Sergott, Likens, Molina are our officials. Paciorretty gets a rush going, but all he can get is a backhand with a guy in his face. Tim Miller absolutely levels Reed. FSN can't pronounce "Palushaj" yet. Palmer is learning "Ugly Goalie." Off a faceoff, Michigan has a good look in front on a rebound, but nobody's home. Shortly after, Kolarik hits a post (Porter?) has the rebound wide.

Naurato corrals a clear attempt and feeds Miller who is dragged down with a ridiculous no-call. Some more play, then Palushaj registers his displeasure by sending an OSU defender through the net after the whistle.

Goebel goes to the box after throwing an elbow into Turnbull's head. OSU seems to have one guy hanging out looking for any shorthanded opportunity. Not as aggressive as Minnesota, but still. Porter hits a post, the second after Kolarik's earlier one. Penalty over. We're better at hockey than they are, but we haven't found the back of the net.

Commercials.

Mitera hits a post. It's an epidemic. Ahhh! Kolarik finds Porter alone in the middle, but the puck hits a stick and he can't bat it out of the air. Hey, Hensick got called up by the Avs today. Good for him. OSU carries it in, but not for long, and I'm almost surprised that we have to play defense. We've been spending a lot of time in their zone.

Mitera's heading to the box. Holding penalty, as one of the Buckeyes goes to the ground. Oh, crap. Tim Miller takes a holding penalty too. This one's more legit. 1:34 left in the Mitera penalty. This is a real problem. Wait, this is stupid. Summers is in the box? The refs are morons. Anyway, Kolarik clears. 1:00 left. Sauer makes a semi-tough save, but we can't clear. Finally, we get it out after they can't take advantage of a Goebel pass to the slot. Sauer's giving up rebounds. First kill over. :21 left. They're buzzing, but Michigan kills the 5-3 AND 5-4 and a weak clear makes it past the blue line to draw an offsides call. Phew.

AHAHAHAHA! The crowd is chanting "WORST STATE EVER!" Sooner or later these Michigan passes across the goal mouth are going to find someone. 6:45 left in the first. Llewellyn fans on a clear, but we get it out. Palushaj can't get a puck settled and Pacioretty is offsides. Oops, OSU is heading back to the box. Reed is gone? Yeah, hockey band!

We start the PP with an OSU clear. A Palushaj/Kolarik failure to mind-read leads to another. Cripes, giveaway. Goebel gets a breakaway and it looks like Sauer has it saved, but it trickles through the five-hole. OSU 1, Michigan, 0

OSU is collapsed around the net. Can't we set up a rotation? Penalty over. OSU getting confidence. We need to step up here. 2:26 left in the first.

Scooter Vaughn gets a nice shot at the net, but the rebound doesn't land near anyone. There's a John Dingle on tOSU. First period over. Somma decides to hit Palushaj after the period ends, so we get that kind of fun.

Guys need to step up here. We look too pleased with ourselves following the Showcase.

---

I really hope these university spots aren't evidence that they're having trouble selling ad time.

We start with a Michigan powerplay resulting from the extracurriculars. Palushaj can't sneak a shot through. Langlais defends a Goebel shortie attempt well. Our dominance from the early going has disappeared, along with this powerplay, but no problem if they want to take another one immediately. An offside call on Hagelin negates the extra skater and John Albert takes a seat for interference.

Goebel is the only good player on this OSU team, but he's getting opportunities on the PK. They kill off another penalty, blocking a lot of shots. They seem to be hoping to sit on this 1-0 lead. 14:00 left in the second.

Commercials. We look out-of-sync, not playing that well as a team. Lots of passes to nobody. OSU's playing more aggressively now. Sauer actually isn't getting a lot of work, the defense is picking it up. Kevin Quick makes a big hit and picks up an interference call, as his man declined to play the puck. Hagelin and Turnbull take a tentative attack in shorthanded, but get the puck knocked away. 1:00 gone after a Michigan clear. OH! Off the post, Sauer didn't see it. It even knocks off his back, but it luckily doesn't fall in. After the faceoff, OSU, is buzzing and it's LAYING ON THE LINE AND IT DOESN'T GO IN OH MY GOD, MITERA MAKES THE SAVE. Mitera and his man start scrapping, and this is strangely not going to review.

Porter and Kolarik immediately jump on a shorthanded opportunity as the penalty expires, but Kolarik has it knocked off his stick. Ahh! 3-2 with the top line and Kolarik gets denied. He couldn't quite find the top shelf stick side.

8:13 left. Lots of hooking and contact as Langlais carries in. Finally a call gets made, after about four different guys try to take him. Kyle Reed (different Reed) goes to the box. OSU is solid on the kill. They're playing better than we are and none of the bounces (except for one big bounce) have gone our way. 6:12, 0:36 left in the period and powerplay. Kolarik gets a quasi-break and he's being hooked. He waits too long and has no angle once Palmer finally goes down, and no call gets made. Sirgott is a big change from McInchak last week.

We're getting mugged down low. Finally Sirgott has had enough of that. Shane Sims takes a seat for hooking. We don't look sharp at all. Strange number of bouncing pucks for Mitera tonight. What's going on now? Oh, Lebler goes too high on a hit and gets whistled for boarding??? He didn't touch the boards. Weird.

Porter gets a pass right to Pacioretty in the slot, but he doesn't get all of it and Palmer is over. OSU at full strength. Sauer is giving up every rebound in sight. 2:00 left in the 2nd. 1:34 and the Lebler penalty is over. Cripes, Sauer falls over behind the net, but luckily nothing comes of it. Icing on OSU, 0:53 left. And again with 0:40.4. I think we'll see a lot of that in the third. End of the period. We only have 15 shots through two. PICK IT UP, GUYS.

---

Red sounds exactly the same whether we've just beat Minnesota or if we're losing to freaking OSU.

They sent a camera up to Fairbanks. I think everyone in town is drunk except for the coach.

Comcast would like you to believe that the BTN wants to hold your eyes open, Clockwork Orange-style and force you to watch. They may also have sold poisoned malk to schoolchildren.

Oh, 2-1 and Palushaj sends it just high. Beautiful chance there. Tim Miller immediately takes a charging minor. OSu only dressed 5 defensemen tonight. Summers gets a long shot away shorthanded, but it's right into Palmer. Ahh! Turnbull had a golden chance out front in the slot and Palmer makes the save. He's having a great game. Damn it. Sauer goes behind his net and gets wrapped up with Mitera. He accidentally takes the puck with him and an alert Goebel stuffs it in the net. 2-0, OSU. Bad goal. OSU has really taken control of this game.

Our shots are going wide, we're just a hair off all night long. OSU has shut down their attack. Their shell looks effective. Shots are only 16-12 with 13:52 left in the game. Passes are still going to nobody. This game is just as exciting as Edmonton-Detroit a few years ago.

Damn it, Miller is out in front and can't find the handle on a rebound. He gets another chance, crashing the net and forcing a tripping penalty. 12:09 left. Immediate OSU clear. Porter gets a nice pass across to Langlais, but it's blocked. We're buzzing around the net, but OSU is blocking everything and the penalty is killed. Sims is going right back to the box.

No one can get a stick on a loose puck. Langlais and Palushaj both have trouble handling the puck. Porter's shot from far out is off. OSU is cheating heavily toward him. We now have 25 shots. Penalty killed. Turnbull gets knocked over deep in the OSU zone, but you don't get that call in the third. Llewellyn's heavy shot from the point misses. Palmer gets a piece of a *high* puck. OSU 3-2 and Sauer makes a nice stop on Fritsche. 6:11 left. Another 3-2. Wide shot. AHH. Long pass to a streaking Porter, but it's just too far ahead for a good chance and Palmer has a stop.

Holy crap, Elkins had a great chance and Sauer gets the stop. Bouncing puck, dug out by us. Naurato finds Llewellyn on a rush, but Palmer is zoning. FINALLY! YESSS!!! 2:41 left and Pacioretty to Kolarik. Palmer shoves a puck to the boards and Pacioretty just manages to find Kolarik out in front with two Buckeyes draped all over him, but he manages to bat it into the net.

Oh, COME ON. 2:09 left and Somma waits for Sauer to drop to his knees before sniping one perfectly over his shoulder. 3-1. OSU.

HOLY SHIT. 1:18 left and Kolarik streaks past 4 Buckeyes standing on their own blue line to bury a puck and make it a 3-2 game.

This is a ridiculous game. I have no idea what's going to happen next. We were down 2 and got 2 within 90 seconds, but managed to give one up in that span. Yost is ROCKING.

Empty net, :50 left. Two Buckeyes going for a loose puck are fricking leveled. :20 left. No one home for a pass across the goal mouth. Puck is trapped in the corner and it takes forever to get a freeze called. :06.1 left. Timeout Michigan.

OSU wins the draw and the game is over. They deserved it, but we came oh so close to getting it back. Lots of chances for us to win the game, but Palmer was zoning for so long and we had some bad giveaways and misses.

A Big Rosy Block M

This is an excellent compilation of Bob Ufer clips from past Ohio State games. It is 15 minutes long, and worth each one of them. (HT: PSuth)

How Michigan Influences OSU

As we prepare for the 104th edition of the greatest rivalry in all of sports, it's important to take a few jabs at each other along the way. Here are some aspects of college football where Michigan has influenced the Buckeyes.

Stadium Decoration

Because the athletic director loved the colors*, the rotunda at Ohio Stadium is decorated with maize and blue flowers. Michigan Stadium wasn't built for five years afterward, but it's probably not hard to guess what the color scheme was going to be.

Nostalgic Longing

The Ohio State song "I want to go back to Ohio State" straight-up stole its first lines and melody from Michigan's "I want to go back to Michigan."

Marching Band Formations

The first script Ohio was formed in 1932 by the Michigan Marching Band.

Yes, this is not THE [HYPERBOLE] SCRIPT OHIO as we know it today. It is still Ohio, in script. And OSU fans will be quick to point out that the MMB just marched straight there. Which is fine, because it gets it over with faster.

The OSU band also played music from Titanic at last year's game. While they played Celine Dion's famous song, they formed the ship, cracked it, and sunk it off the edge of the field, using fire extinguishers for steam. The crowd loved it.

Now, that's a clever idea, but I liked it better when the Michigan Marching Band did it in 1998.

"Michigan Daily: The Band Plays On - 10/1/1998: 'That whole thing with the band members grouping in the shape of that old sunken ship, complete with the fire extinguishers for steam, was quite creative and entertaining, and very cool.'

How to Behave

Actually, they came up with this one all on their own. I hope.

*No. It's because the winner of the 1922 dedication game got to paint the flowers in their colors. Michigan won 19-0.

The Vault: Michigan Stadium Dedication 1927

Michigan fans know that while Ohio Wesleyan was the first opponent in the Big House, the stadium was dedicated during a game against tOhio State with a 21-0 victory on October 27, 1927.

Noted YouTube poster WolverineHistorian posted this newsreel clip, enhanced by some classic work by what sounds like Michigan's men's glee club and old-timey piano, that really must be seen. So watch the clip, and then I will have some notes after the jump, and you are strongly encouraged to post your own notes.

* Like Simpsons writer John Schwartzwelder, I have an abiding affection for old-timey Americana. This clip has SO MUCH OF IT! The use of "Varsity", complete with what looks like a pep rally, is just icing on the cake.

* It's just amazing to see people filing into Michigan Stadium, a building that looks no bigger than 40 feet off the ground, from an empty field. No concrete to be seen anywhere. And yet, the stairways and the tunnel are pretty much the same today as they were 80 years ago.

* "Today's aerial footage was provided by a biplane!"

* Look at how close the field is to the first row. I know older Michigan fans always think that the lower rows are a nightmare because of the pre-1990 arrangement, but you can really see it there.

* Suits. Everywhere suits. I know that northern weather makes this an impossible, but I like the idea that you dress for a game, as some Southern schools do.

* No yard numbers on the field, narrow band sidelines, no end zone decorations.

* Lots of footage of the cheerleaders, but no footage of the MMB. Disappointing.

* Speaking of cheerleaders, I wonder if this is the game where the live Wolverine mauled the cheerleader, leading Michigan to permanently abandon the mascot concept.

* Hey, you can see people shredding their Michigan Football Guides and tossing them into the air after a score. Some things never change. I wonder what the 1927 version of Punt/Counterpunt was like...

* On the last play of the footage, you can see that even 80 years ago, Michigan had problems containing a mobile Buckeye quarterback and finishing their tackles.

* By the way, Michigan went unscored upon in its first three games in the Big House. Navy scored 12 in the fourth game at Michigan Stadium to become the first opposing team to find paydirt at Michigan Stadium.

"It's a Know-Nothing Party School"

We turn to Detroit morning rush hour DJ Dick Purtan and his classic circa-1977 parody for the appropriate sentiment on this week's game.