Ordinary

[Editor's note: Hey, it's our 600th post.]

Always a sucker for the sea of helmets. (AP Photo/Carlos Osorio)

Ordinary is underrated.  Seriously.  Christianity calls any of its non holiday seasons "Ordinary Time" after all.  But, if we have learned nothing else from our social media revolution, it's that there is a certain beauty and joy in the every day, in the expected, in the run of the mill. That is, as Ann Howard Creel put it, the Magic of Ordinary Days.

I've always felt like part of this has to be that we as people cannot handle constant heightened states of alert.  The part of our brains that recognize danger cannot live constantly "on".  It's part of why soldiers have such a hard time dealing with the silences after a constant barrage of artillery, it's as much physiological as it is psychological.  The combination of adrenaline and situational awareness mean that we end up on edge, we snap too easily, our bodies don't work correctly.  Ordinary is the down time we need to actually be able to function like normal human beings.

Ordinary is not facing the defending national champions.  Ordinary is not facing a triple option attack. Ordinary is not facing one of your long-time rivals in a game under the lights as they celebrate their 125th season of football.

The Funchess and the Fitz get their party on. (Photo by Dave Reginek/Getty Images)

So that is why I am not ever going to complain about a game like yesterday.  They are necessary and they are good for the soul.  Sure, there's very little drama, but haven't we had enough of that already this season. So if yesterday was about seven different guys running the ball and eight different guys making a catch, I'll take it.  If it's about no one getting hurt while winning by 50, I'll take it.  Because we needed a breather.  Doesn't make it a bad day, after all.  I still got a chance to watch Denard do Denard things, an occasion which is sadly dwindling down to fewer and fewer as we progress toward the end of his senior year.  I still got a chance to watch Devin "The" Funchess make a pretty spectacular play to open the scoring, Devin Gardner make an amazing dive to get across the goal line, and Vincent Smith score a couple of touchdowns by doing the Vincent Smith things he has done for such a long time.  Ordinary, perhaps, but if it is, we need to appreciate how hard it was to get back to a point where this is ordinary.

Part of the magic of working on the MVictors' Michigan History Calendar is not just walking down memory lane for the obvious highlights, it's finding those little moments in the hopes that the user will remember them as well.  David Brandon may have committed himself to creating "wow" experiences, but the Magic of Ordinary Days is not about wow.  It's about "neat" or "nifty" or "cool".  For instance, no one would remark on Michigan's 1996 game against Boston College as a "wow" game, it, in fact, was not much of a game.  But it always has stuck in my memory as the moment I earned my first Fandom Endurance III badge, and for the Battle of Britain of marshmallow fights (back in the day when we were allowed to bring things like marshmallows into the stadium.)  So a day like yesterday is going to be important for someone.  It was inevitably someone's first time at Michigan Stadium yesterday, probably a place that they had dreamed of going for their whole life.  And they're going to remember that they got to see Michigan win and that will be all that matters.  Because there is Magic in Ordinary Days, you just have to know how to look for it.

Additional note:
If you missed it yesterday, the Michigan Marching Band had a "Behind the Scenes" with the MMB leading up to their halftime show and it's really worth your time, if just to see the time and effort put in by the MMB members laid bare.

So, get ready, because we're back into the holiday season of college football known as a rivalry week.  No number of awesome puppet based videos can change my opinion on that.

It's Always Denard Time...

[Author's note: I regret nothing!]

Denard Time

Woah-oh-oh-oh

It's always Denard time

Woah-oh-oh-oh

It's always Denard time

Rolled out to right side of the line

Doesn't matter that the situation is third and nine.

Hands up if you're open for a first down tonight,

Cuz It's always Denard time.

Threw off my back foot like I didn't care

Lost a shoe, still couldn't tackle me anywhere

I'm in if you need a touchdown tonight

Cuz It's always Denard time

Good morning and good night

I do my best work Under the Lights

It's gonna be alright

Doesn't matter if were down by nine,

It's always Denard time

Woah-oh-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh-oh

It's always Denard time

Woah-oh-oh-oh

Doesn’t matter if we're down by nine,

It's always Denard time.

Freaked out missed the open man again

Checked out of coverage and hit my tight end

Let's find you if you're open for a first down tonight

Cuz It's always Denard time

Good morning and good night

I do my best work Under the Lights

It's gonna be alright

Doesn't matter if we're down by nine

It's always Denard time.

Woah-oh-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh-oh

It's always Denard time

Woah-oh-oh-oh

Doesn't matter if we're down by nine

It's always Denard time.

Woah-oh-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh-oh

It's always Denard time

Woah-oh-oh-oh

Doesn't matter if we're down by nine

It's always Denard time.

Doesn't matter when

Denard just made 'em miss again.

Doesn't matter where

Denard just made 'em miss by a hair.

Doesn't matter when

Denard just made 'em miss again.

It's always Denard time

Woah-oh-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh-oh

It's always Denard time

Woah-oh-oh-oh

Doesn't matter if we're down by nine,  

It's always Denard time

Woah-oh-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh-oh

It's always Denard time

Woah-oh-oh-oh

Doesn't matter if we're down by nine, 

It's always Denard time.

Yonder

Unleash the Funchess!  (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)

One of the best books I have ever read is My Favorite Year, an anthology of football (world definition) from some very amazing authors, including Roddy Doyle and Nick Hornby.  The authors basically put together an essay on their favorite season for their favorite team.  Hornby, having already taken his readers through his obsession with Arsenal in Fever Pitch, takes the time to walk his readers through his season with Cambridge United 1983-84 while he was at university.  Cambridge United, as Hornby points out was a second division team at the time, so it was not cheating on his beloved Arsenal.

*-By the way, if any of my favorite football bloggers wanted to get together and do their college football version of that, well:

When I was in fourth grade, my mother found for me an Air Force sweatshirt while she was out Christmas shopping with my grandmother.  It was navy but it had a white band through the center that said "Air Force" in script.  While she knew I loved Michigan as much as anything, she also knew I dreamed of being a fighter pilot.  This, of course, was a pipe dream since I was already rocking some serious glasses and like zero hand-eye coordination, but you know, I was ten years old, what did I know?  So I wore that shirt all the time.  I read about all of the greatest planes in American military history and by the time I was in sixth grade, I pretty much knew the entire litany of U.S. air power.  I also came to like Air Force as my other college football team because hey, Air Force has a football team.  (This did once lead me to pick Air Force over Ohio State in the 1990 Liberty Bowl which helped my dad win his bowl pick 'em pool at work because no one else had it.)  So for years, I've always had a notion of wanting Air Force to be successful.

So when I saw Air Force on the schedule for this year for the first time since the Johnson administration, I was excited, but I was also nervous.  Air Force, after all, is a triple option dynamo known for giving good teams fits.  So it's the first home game, coming off a huge loss to Alabama, what would Michigan do?  How would Michigan look?  Something like this:

That is a diagram of the flight path of a KC-135 reduced gravity simulator aircraft, affectionately known as "the Vomit Comet".  It is used by NASA to train astronauts for reduced gravity as well as to test the effect of lower gravity on equipment.  It also informs us of the general track of the Michigan game, low, then high, then low, then high, then low, then high, and finally relief that you have landed safely.

As Stewart Mandel pointed out, Denard accounted for 416 of Michigan's 422 yards yesterday. That's not a long term solution, but it did work for what it needed to do.  Denard found a new toy in Devin "The" Funchess (I'm calling him "the Funchess", because it sounds like some kind of weird European nobility, like the Baronet or the Count.), making him the new Junior Hemingway.  Mistakes were made.  The defense looked maddeningly more like GERG level than Mattison's Marauders, but got it done when it needed to do so.

Did anyone else think that the banner looked like a new one with the more yellow maize?  Oh and happy 50th Anniversary to the Banner.  (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)

Air Force looked exactly like I would want to see a group of my nation's future military leaders look like as a football team, disciplined, focused, moving quickly, attacking the enemy's weaknesses, and fighting to the last man.  They gave Michigan all they could handle and earned the respect and admiration of hopefully every Michigan fan.  I had joked earlier in the week that "It's hard playing against Air Force because you can't boo freedom*", but I stand by it.  Air Force, along with Army and Navy, are America's teams.  Every one of those players made the choice to not only become an officer by going the Academy route.  Every one of them has taken on the additional responsibility of being a football player at the Division I level, above and beyond what is asked of them.  It was the same reason that I found it so hard to be angry when Air Force beat Michigan in the opening round of the NCAA Hockey Tournament in 2009.  The cadets did an outstanding job and I am proud of their service to our country.

*-The fact that this holds true was made even better by the fact that Air Force's players all had either "SERVICE" or "FREEDOM" on their name plates.

Who loses a shoe, I mean really? (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)

Schedule: The funny thing is though, no matter what, I'd rather have non-conference games like this one than like next week with UMass or next year against Akron.  Even what happened last week was a better kind of option, provided that every Division I team was playing a similar schedule.   I don't know where the cut-off is, because I would hate to lose the Michigan MAC schools while saying the Sun Belt isn't up to par.  But a schedule where Michigan (and all AQ level schools) would be facing let's say a Pac 12 team, an ACC team, a Mountain West team, and a MAC team would go a long way to making college football better.  (Solve the I-AA funding problem by allowing teams to play an exhibition game in August against them for a set fee.)

Credit where credit is due: The student section showed up and they showed up mostly on time.  I was impressed at how quickly between 30 minutes to go and 15 minutes to go the pregame clock the maize filled in.

It gets worse: Special K decided to throw Pitbull's "Back in Time" into the mix.  I was really hoping he had gotten lost on the way back from Kodiak.  I'll let you determine who I mean by that pronoun.

Oosterbaan never had that kind of flow: Love the choice of Jake Ryan for the Oosterbaan #47.  He seemed to play an inspired game yesterday, though I do think Bennie would have caught that ball that Ryan dropped on Air Force's final drive.  Looking forward to seeing who gets the Ron Kramer number.  I hope whomever gets it likes apples.

Is this a Hoke point?  Can I get a ruling? (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)

Not Impressed

Friend of the blog Brian Hilger made this for us and wanted us to share, hoping perhaps to appease HOCKEYBEAR!

HOCKEYBEAR's Guide to Campus Destruction II: The University of Georgia

HOCKEYBEAR was very sad to hear that my old pal Neil Armstrong died recently. I was on the committee of space-faring species that welcomed him to the moon, along with Flipper, Lassie, and Mr. Ed. That's the part of the moon landing that the government tries so hard to keep hushed up. What HOCKEYBEAR found really confusing was how the news media reported on the death of a human hero. The Anchorage Daily News had the headline "Neil Armstrong, first man to walk on moon, dies at 82." CNN had a video report called "Armstrong, first man on moon, dies." HOCKEYBEAR thinks there are three types of humans who do not know why Neil Armstrong is famous: 1) those who are too young and thus unlikely to purchase newspapers or cable; 2) those so unfortunate that they did not receive a proper education and thus likely to also be too unfortunate to afford a newspaper; and 3) those too stupid to know who he is and who are unlikely to be interested in keeping up with the news. HOCKEYBEAR's point is YOU DO NOT HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHO NEIL ARMSTRONG IS. Every human interested in paying for the news knows who he is!

Most humans agree that the prominent national media has grown quite complacent. HOCKEYBEAR sees this in the reports on the foot-ball game where the small humans of Michigan were defeated by the less-small humans of Alabama. ESPN's Gene Wojciechowski, by no means the most odious "reporter" at that network, filed a story about how the less-small humans of Alabama "played with a purpose" and were "hungry" to win. HOCKEYBEAR has no doubt that this is true, but I also have no doubt that the small humans of Michigan "played with a purpose" and were "hungry" to win. That is not news, only meaningless cliché. HOCKEYBEAR is not impressed.

HOCKEYBEAR is not impressed.
Original photo by Paul McCarthy.

Meanwhile, the student reporters at The Michigan Daily were ready with two separate analyses dissecting the foot-ball strategies and execution that resulted in the defeat of their small humans. Unlike reporters at big media outlets, who are relatively secure in their jobs and can afford to be lazy, student reporters are fighting to make names for themselves and these days are producing better reporting than the "professional" media. HOCKEYBEAR is, of course, most interested in hockey than foot-ball, and notes that Matt Slovin of The Daily produced the most important hockey journalism of 2012 by reporting on the UNHOCKEYBEARLIKE shenanigans of the Kitchener Rangers. The newspaper has since "clarified" that story by apologizing that it did not include facts that were not known at the time the story was published and would not have come out in the open if the story had not been published. HOCKEYBEAR is happy to see that steps are now being taken to cut down on cheating in the OHL, even if my favorite OHL team, the Windsor Spitfires, were punished. None of these steps would have happened without student journalism.

Last time I demonstrated a fairly standard campus destruction on North Campus. In columns to follow, I will show you subtler ways to destroy a campus. To show you how destroying independent student journalism can make destroying a campus much easier, The University of Georgia will tremble beneath my rage!

Choices

"Well, that could have gone better." (AP Photo/LM Otero)

Life is all about choices, some we make for ourselves, some that others make and have an impact on us.  The Alabama game was a series of choices, after all.

Back in July, Fitzgerald Toussaint made the choice to get behind the wheel of a pick up truck after he had been drinking.  Police caught him doing this and he was charged with OWI, later reduced to OWVI.  For this choice, he, Michigan's leading rusher from 2011, was suspended for the Alabama game.

Brady Hoke made the choice to suspend Fitzgerald Toussaint for the Alabama game, but he did so at pretty much the last possible moment on Friday.  This drew praise from media types (as well as a fair amount of confusion, Hoke was being praised for issuing a fairly standard issue suspension for a player charged with a DUI.  I have to agree, but I think it speaks more to our lowered expectations with college football than anything.)  Hoke's choice was likely to not give any unnecessary advantage to Alabama and to encourage Toussaint to keep working towards getting back into the good graces.  Hoke also understood that this suspension would have consequences, but he still made the choice.

Back in 2010, in what had to seem like a good idea at the time, David Brandon was convinced by the combined powers of Jerry Jones and the ESPN matchup makers that taking Michigan's show on the road to Dallas to open the season against Nick Saban's Alabama team would be tremendous.  This was a coach ago and an 14th Alabama national championship ago.  But hey, RichRod's first recruiting class would be seniors, right? It would be the talk of the summer, the Michigan brand, which had taken a beating in 2008 and 2009 needed something, anything, to bring it back in to focus.  This was an event, a moment, something that was supposed to wow us.  Instead, Michigan becomes one of only two B1G teams to lose its 2012 opener.  Admittedly, not all opening games are created equal, but because of Mr. Brandon's choice, Michigan is 0-1 to start the year for the first time since 2008.

Al Borges had a choice.  He could choose to be aggressive and attack a fierce, but young, Alabama defense, or he could be conservative, hope that Denard could connect on some big plays (which, admittedly, without some drops, might have worked) and not let Denard get hurt.  It didn't feel good, but I am not sure that in a game where it didn't look/feel like you had much of a chance after 10 minutes of play if it wasn't the smart choice.

Denard Robinson had a choice.  He could let the man who had just picked off his pass (a man who had shoved Roy Roundtree out of bounds, which is apparently perfectly legal as long as the ball is not in the air in a rule with which I was unfamiliar.) head for the end zone, or he could try to make a tackle and potential risk to himself.  He threw himself in to the tackle and got dinged up in the shoulder for it.  But leaders do not let their man get by them, even when it may not have been the smartest choice.

We have a choice as fans.  We can sulk, we can lament, we can shake our fists in anger.  But I don't think we will.  I think that in a game where few people game us a chance, it went poorly. We don't have to be happy that Michigan isn't at Alabama's level, but we can choose to believe that it may be somewhere down the line.  We can choose to enjoy the home opener this weekend, making sure that we are respectful to our friends from the Air Force who have made the choice to defend America's freedom, and we can choose to believe that things will get better from here.  We can choose to believe that we would have been happier with a neat little 35-10ish dusting of a MACrifice or FCSer, but I choose to believe that a reality check, from time to time, is not the worst thing in the world.  We're not as deep down in the depths as we have been in recent memory, but maybe we're not as high back up the mountain as we thought.

We don't wait for these nights to arrive, we yell like hell to the heavens

Craig didn't include my suggestion of "The House that Heaven Built" on the MGoMix, but he gave me posting privileges, so he might as well have. Good thing Japandroids album covers are the easiest things in the world to photoshop.

Go Blue! Beat 'Bama!

HOCKEYBEAR's Guide to Campus Destruction

Greetings once again, small humans of Michigan! I, HOCKEYBEAR, destroyer of planets, planetesimals, continents, nations, states, provinces, universities, colleges, etc., am pleased to announced that I will be writing a guest column at the Hoover Street Rag during college egghockey season!

Sometimes, as I curl up in my den to relax after completing a destructive mission of vital importance, I think back to the fear and trembling I leave in my wake, which leads my to think of Fear and Trembling by Søren Kierkegaard - a great northern soul, just like HOCKEYBEAR - and I ask myself, "Is it all worth it, HOCKEYBEAR? The destruction, the collateral damage, the smoking craters? Wouldn't it be better to just relax in my den, venture out occasionally to eat every part of some Chena River fish and some locally-grown potatoes, and pursue a life of quiet contemplation?"

But eventually I come to my senses and say Fah! to that line of thinking. Destruction can be a force for good. Destruction can inspire, or pump up, a crowd, as viewers of my videos are well aware. Destruction is necessary so that the old can be replaced by the new. Nowhere is this more true as in the modern academy, where new advances in knowledge and in technology make constant rebuilding and renovation necessary. With those thoughts in mind, I present to you:

HOCKEYBEAR's Guide to Campus Destruction!

The naive reader may think that my first column will be about how to destroy the University of Alabama, the first opponent the small humans of Michigan play in egghockey. But that is not the case: HOCKEYBEAR has no interest in your dull egghockey rivalries. The University of Michigan is clearly superior to the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa because it has a high-level hockey team, and Alabama does not. The finest institution of higher learning in Alabama is Alabama-Huntsville, a school that bravely tries to compete in the highest levels of college hockey despite being located in a sweltering southeastern clime.

Instead, the first campus I shall destroy in my column is one that will hit close to home for many readers from Michigan, but fortunately, an adequate distance away from home itself: North Campus shall feel my wrath!

MGoMix 2012

So here's the deal.  I was working on this and I was going to do the usual five-five-five-five presentation but then my hard drive on my six week old computer crashed.  So you're getting what I could pull out of the fire, so to speak, as I get everything back to normal.  I would note CrashPlan is worth its weight in gold.

1).           "Intro" by The xx

A simple introduction, it builds toward something, something that should be epic in scope, something worth waiting for.  Plus, you know, Mercury Prize winners and all…

2).           "MainTheme from Back to the Future" by Alan Silvestri

Little secret, as screwed up as it may be, Back to the Future is still one of my all-time favorite movies.  Part of this is the main theme and the way it builds upon itself.  It's grand in scope, yet has little moments.

Back to the Future is also the theme of this year's MGoMix because it is, to me the theme of the 2012 Michigan season.  Last year was about righting the ship, fixing something in the past that made the timeline in the present the way we knew it to be,  Now we're back, we just need a Mr. Fusion to look a little further ahead.  Plus, you know, Denard leaves little flame trails behind him when he hits 88 mph.

  

3).           "Gold On the Ceiling" by The Black Keys

The Black Keys are from Ohio, but like Michigan football, we take Ohio's best and make it our own.  Well, having heard it over and over on the NCAA Basketball tournament and now in film trailers and such.  It's such a wonderful follow up to our inclusion of "10 AM Automatic" a few years back.

4).           "Shoot to Thrill" by AC/DC

"Oh, it's good to be back."  As we learned from Iron Man 2 and The Avengers, this is Tony Stark's personal theme.  Plus, you know, tons of people have AC/DC on their college football playlists, but it's almost always "Thunderstruck" or "Hell's Bells", so I am trying to mix in something else.

5).           "Cut Your Hair" by Pavement

Is it a 1990s indie classic, or the theme to Pardon the Interruption?  We still don't know.

6).           "Making Time" by The Creation

Because I needed to turn the Michigan football season into a Wes Anderson film.

7).           "Still the Same" by Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band

Because I needed some Seger in this mix, it's required by Ann Arbor city ordinance.

8).           "One Man Wrecking Machine" by Guster

"I wanna pull it apart and put it back together, I want to relive all my adolescent dreams.  Inspired by true events on movie screens, I am a one man wrecking machine."

Or, you know, Craig Roh.

9).           "Charlie Brown" by Coldplay

"Light a fire from a spark

Light a fire, a flame in my heart

We'll run wild

We'll be glowing in the dark"

10).         "Live to Rise" by Soundgarden

Hmm, getting the legendary 1990s band back together for one of the biggest things of 2012?  Yeah, I'm projecting here.

11).         "Midnight City" by M83

Great song and it sounds great in the mix.  I recommend it highly.

12).         "Lights" by Ellie Goulding

I don't know which mix I have of this, but this is clearly on here in honor of the UTL victory last season.  Let's do it again under the lights in South Bend.

13).         "Power" by Kanye West

In honor of Brady Hoke's favorite run tactic and as a warning to college football and the NCAA in general.  "No one man should have all that power."

14).         "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger" by Daft Punk

"Daft Punk is playing at my (Big) house."  Which raises the question, why isn't more Daft Punk being played at my Big House?

15).         "Little Green Bag" by George Baker Selection

Yes, I needed to get some Reservoir Dogs in this reset as well.  I'm clearly feeling my college years.

16).         "You've Got the Love" by Florence + The Machine

I know that "Another Son/Daughter" is the unofficial anthem of Michigan football of recent vintage, but I will make an argument for this being the perfect anthem for now.

"Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the air

I know I can count on you

Sometimes I feel like saying "Lord I just don't care"

But you've got the love I need to see me through

Sometimes it seems that the going is just too rough

And things go wrong no matter what I do

Now and then it seems that life is just too much

But you've got the love I need to see me through

When food is gone you are my daily need

When friends are gone I know my savior's love is real

You know it's real."

Yep.

17).         "Back in Time" by Huey Lewis & the News

Book ending our Back to the Future theme.  "So take me away, I don't mind, but you better promise me I'll be back in time."

18).         "She Sells Sanctuary" by The Cult

More known now as the backing track for a Budweiser ad that ran during the Super Bowl, still one of my all-time favorite 1980s tracks.

19).         "I Can't Turn You Loose" by The Blues Brothers

Dance!  Dance!

20).         "Everybody Needs Somebody To Love" by The Blues Brothers

"We're so glad to see so many of you lovely people here tonight and we would especially like to welcome all the representatives of the Big Ten officiating community who have chosen to join us here in the Michigan Amphitheater at this time. We do sincerely hope you'll all enjoy the show and please remember people, that no matter who you are and what you do to live, thrive and survive, there're still some things that make us all the same. You, me, them, everybody, everybody."

21).         "I Can't Turn You Loose" by the Michigan Marching Band (1993)

22).         "M Fanfare" by the Michigan Marching Band (1993)

23).         "The Victors" by the Michigan Marching Band (1993)

24).         "Temptation" by the Michigan Marching Band (1993)

25).         "Hawaiian War Chant" by the Michigan Marching Band (1993)

26).         "Varsity" by the Michigan Marching Band (1993)

Wishlist

Things I would like to see, not in the grandiose "If I were King of the Forest" but in the "Well, that would be nice..." kind of way.


1).  The Freeh Report on the massive institutional failures at Penn State contained 119 recommendations for improvement at the school.  If the NCAA sanctions are designed as a deterrent measure to the other schools of the organization, then I would hope that each of the members could also demonstrate how they already meet or are working toward meeting the recommendations in the Freeh Report.  Learn the lessons of others by demonstrating how your structures are in place to prevent horrific things from happening again.

2). That Michigan would learn the lessons of Mike Ilitch when it comes to your team's on the field look.  Fundamentally, the Red Wings and Tigers look almost exactly the same as they did when Mr. I bought the team in late 1992.  The only real change would be the Tigers road look, and even that is a call back to the team's history.  Aside from a Winter Classic look or an occasional Negro League tribute game, the Tigers and Red Wings take the field/ice in the fundamentally same look that the teams wore in the 1950s and in the 1930s.  Kell worse the same jersey as Cash worse the same jersey as Kaline wore the same jersey as Trammell worse the same jersey as Fryman wore the same jersey as Verlander.  Aside from tweaks to the logo, the Production Line and the Russian Five took the ice in the same look.  This is what I want from Michigan, to know that what Tom Harmon wore on the field is what Denard Robinson is wearing on the field.  I know there are those who say that only the home jersey and helmet are sacrosanct, but in looking at the Cowboys Classic look, we're roughly four years away from the dreaded maize jersey, which will be "selected by the senior leadership of Team 137" (Shane, don't let this happen.)

I'd been said before, but remember that a baseball team would need to wear an "alternate" uniform 13 times a year to have the same proportional impact of a college football team wearing an alternate look.  An NHL hockey team would need to do it six times a season.  And this is if you just have one alternate look, not seven different looks during the course of a season.

3). That anyone who decides to drink would be so smart as to call a cab.  Seriously, just call a cab, have a DD, but do not, DO NOT, get behind the wheel.

4). That the NCAA would stop trying to go all DC/Marvel at stop it with the retconning* such as taking away victories and such and instead just let what happened on the field stand with massive footnotes about the circumstances under which they occurred.

*-our friend Greg made this joke first, we very much enjoyed it.

I'm sure there's other things, but this seems like a good start.

Stand Up for Slovin in Style!

So a certain OHL team from a city named for the British Empire's second-worst general during World War I is suing the Michigan Daily, Matt Slovin, and a Mr. John Doe for reasons that aren't exactly clear. Poor Mr. Doe - he gets sued a lot.

The Kitchener Rangers may not understand the concept of a free press, but hopefully they understand the concept of parody. Here's a logo to help you stand up for the Daily:

Is that the Rangers' font? No, it's Univers, available in fine software packages everywhere. Is that the Rangers' shield? No, it's a modified version of the U.S. Highway shield. Do the Rangers have the rights to shields with diagonals on them? No, the heraldic bend predates the Rangers by centuries.

Print it out, stick it on a T-shirt or button, or do whatever you want with it. Ideally, use it to watermark paper on which you state your intentions to drop your silly lawsuit.

Last Stands

This post has everything to do with college football and nothing to do with college football all at the same time.

My grandfather is buried at Fort Custer National Cemetery near Augusta, Michigan.  He served as a medic during World War II and is interred there in honor of his military service.  Fort Custer National Cemetery is a part of the Fort Custer National Military Reservation, which was used during World War I as a mobilization facility and as a camp for German POWs during World War II.

"Sighting the Enemy" is an equestrian monument of George Armstrong Custer in his boyhood hometown of Monroe, Michigan, honoring his service for the Union Army during the United States Civil War.  Standing in the heart of downtown Monroe, it is 14 feet tall and was dedicated in 1910 by President Taft himself.  Monroe also has a Custer Airport and a Custer Elementary School, one of the largest in the state of Michigan.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Custerstatue.jpg

There are six counties in the United States named for George Armstrong Custer, along with two villages, a city, and an unincorporated town.  The US 85th Infantry Division was nicknamed the Custer Division, named for the Fort where it initially mustered during World War I.

George Armstrong Custer rose to prominence during the Civil War for his effectiveness as a cavalry commander, rising to the rank of (brevet) major general.  He was present at Appomattox as a part of the Union delegation that received Lee's surrender of the Army of Northern Virginia.  Custer, however, is best known for leading his U.S. 7th Cavalry unit into an ill-advised attack on the Lakota and Cheyenne, ending in a slaughter at the Battle of Little Bighorn, losing 268 men and seeing another 55 wounded.

Custer's action has been both seen plainly, such as by President (and legendary General) Grant: "I regard Custer's Massacre as a sacrifice of troops, brought on by Custer himself, that was wholly unnecessary – wholly unnecessary." and romantically, most famously by the  Anheuser-Busch company's advertising campaign, showing "Custer's Last Stand" as a part of the larger narrative of the Indian Wars and the efforts to tame the frontier.

In the succeeding 135 years since Little Bighorn, Custer's legacy has been discussed, debated, revised, revised again, and still unsettled.  Some would like to see Custer's name wiped off the map, forgotten, shamed, erased from history.  Others want to honor Custer not for the end of his life, but for what he did before his completely fatal lapse in decision making,  Others see the memorials and encomiums as a chance to be reminded of the whole of a man's life and legacy, as a chance to discuss the past, to understand the circumstances, and know that decisions have consequences.

After all, just because you have sighted the enemy doesn't mean you know how to deal with it.

Unfamiliar Territory: Part II of II

In Part I of Unfamiliar Territory, we examined the teams which Michigan has never faced.  In today's post, we make use of "The Matrix".

The Matrix is the product of about 10 man hours of work between December 2011 and June 2012.  I made use of the awesome Stassen database form here.  It could have been more comprehensive, but simply told, it shows the relative number of times teams have played since 1936 (my arbitrary cutoff based on the first AP poll) and the year of their most recent meeting (that is the season year, January bowl games rolling to the previous calendar year.)  The teams were selected as being the 35 FBS schools from 2011 AQ conference (or independents) with the most wins all-time (look, we go by winning percentage, Boise State's small sample size gets in the way) along with 6 wild cards (teams I just wanted to look in to, like FSU, Miami, UCLA, etc.)  Army and Navy are there mostly from a love of history.  So there's some absolutely arbitrary decisions in there.  If you're upset that Mississippi or Oregon State isn't in there, I'm sorry.  (About the only one I'm lamenting now is that I didn't include BYU, but alas.)  At the end of the article, you'll get the complete list of never have mets if you don't want to sort through my analysis.

Some general notes: As was pointed out by Pete Gaines in my tweet previews, the South was very insular.  Just look at the number of teams that Auburn has never faced, it's staggering.  As I pointed out in Part I, many of Michigan's SEC matchups have been in bowl games in the last 25 years.

So, my question, what are the ten best matchups that have never been played?  What would you most like to see?

Unfamiliar Territory: Part I of II

It started with a simple premise.  When Michigan and Virginia Tech were matched up in the Sugar Bowl this past season, many writers correctly noted that it was the first time that the two venerable college football programs had been matched up.  It also marked the second straight bowl game in which Michigan faced an opponent it had never faced, even though we don't discuss the 2011 Gator Bowl matchup with Mississippi State...ever.

So I wanted to know, what Division I-A teams has Michigan never faced in its long 132 year history.  I used the Stassen database lookup to find teams which Michigan had never faced.  I also used a 1936 cutoff point (the first year of the AP poll) to find teams Michigan has not faced during that time frame.  The complete list will follow, but let's look at the Big Five conference teams first, along with some commentary:

ACC:

Michigan vs. Clemson

Doesn't it just seem like Michigan and Clemson should have played at some point in history?  But, nope, it's never actually happened.  Death Valley seats 80,500, so it's not like a home and home would be out of the question.  Plus, Dabo, so, yaknow. 

Michigan vs. Georgia Tech (1934)

Also known as the Willis Ward game, I'm wondering if lingering resentments and issues stemming from that game have prevented a rematch from ever happening.

Big East:
Michigan vs. Cincinnati
Kind of surprising, because of the proximity, but then again, Ohio State has only played their southerly neighbors six times ever, so...

Michigan vs. Louisville

Interestingly enough, Michigan has only played one team from the state of Kentucky in history and none in the last century.

Michigan vs. Rutgers

As two of the "founding fathers" of college football, coupled with Rutgers proximity to the New York metro area, this one is shocking.  I kept presuming that Rutgers and Michigan will square  off at MetLife Stadium at some point in the future, but the Pac-12 scheduling alliance makes that less likely now.

Michigan vs. South Florida

USF played its first football game in 1997, so this is not too shocking.

Michigan vs. Temple

Temple would actually be a great team for a home and home, as the Owls play at Lincoln Financial Field.  Temple was a MAC school until last year, so this could also account for a lack of Temple in our lives.

Michigan vs. West Virginia (1904, non I-A)

Michigan played Fielding Yost's alma mater during the run of four straight national titles, winning over the Mountaineers by a 130-0 score.  While I think it would be great to play the Mountaineers, recent history suggests that this matchup is not in the offing any time during the Brandon tenure.

SEC:

Michigan vs. Kentucky (1908, non I-A)

Michigan won the only match-up in 1908 by a 62-0 score, but it should be noted, like the West Virginia game, Kentucky was not considered I-A level at the time of the game (which is kind of nebulous at best anyway.)  Most of Michigan's matchups with pre-2012 SEC schools have come during bowl games in the last 20 or so years: 

• Arkansas-1998 Citrus Bowl
• Alabama-three times, #4 coming up
• Auburn-twice, 1984 Sugar Bowl & 2000 Citrus Bowl
• Tennessee-2001 Citrus Bowl
• Ole Miss-1990 Gator Bowl
• Mississippi State-2010 Gator Bowl
• Florida-two times, 2002 Outback Bowl & 2007 Capital One (Citrus) Bowl
• Vanderbilt-no bowl game, but that 2006 game is the most recent of 11 games
• South Carolina-two regular season home games - 1980 & 1985
• Georgia-two regular season home games - 1957 & 1965 (meaning Michigan has never played "Between the Hedges" which is a major bummer.

Michigan vs. LSU

This is not only the #1 matchup I would love to see Michigan make in the next few years, I am sure the networks would love it, the story lines write themselves, the teams would hopefully be pretty good, and honestly, given the SEC/Big Ten bowl tie-ins, its a distinct possibility.  Let's just not do it in New Orleans.  

I will actually make the argument that this is one of the five best college football matchups that has never been played.  That will be Part II of the article (there's a matrix, it's awesome) when I get a chance to write it up.

Big XII:

Michigan vs. Iowa State

Makes sense on some level.  If you're playing Iowa, you don't need to play Iowa State.

Michigan vs. Kansas State

K-State was so bad for so long in the pre-Snyder era (and the post-Snyder, pre-Snyder era) that I can think that Michigan would not see any benefit in playing K-State.  Why schedule a terrible purple clad Wildcat squad when you already are playing Northwestern.  (Northwestern pre-1995)

Michigan vs. Texas Christian

TCU is only here because I had to remember that TCU is a Big XII team starting this season.  TCU would be a tough matchup because it's a high risk/low reward scheduling notion, just like Boise State.

Michigan vs. Texas Tech

If we're going to play the Red Raiders, play them now, in the post-Leach era, when it's a "Dumpster Fire". ("Tuberville Dumpster Fire" courtesy Fake Dan Beebe on Twitter)

Mountain West/Big East/Somewhere?

Michigan vs. Boise State

Boise State, of course, is a up and comer, but Michigan State is playing Boise State this year to open up the season.  Michigan and Boise State should figure something out.  Just not on the Smurf Turf.

MAC:

Michigan vs. Akron (on the schedule)

On the schedule for 2013, so that takes care of that.

Michigan vs. Buffalo (1901, non I-A)

Would have been a better possibility if Warde Manuel (Michigan alum) had stayed at Buffalo as the AD, but yeah, not seeing it.

Michigan vs. Kent State

Just kind of seems like a fluke.  Then again, Michigan's only ever played Toledo once and Bowling Green twice, all within the last 12 years.  If Michigan is going to play a MAC school, it tends to play the Michigan MAC schools (Eastern 10 times, Central 3 times, Western 6 times) instead of the Ohio MAC schools (Toledo 1 time, Bowling Green 2 times, Miami 5 times [amazingly, never once while Bo was coach], Akron 0 times, Kent State 0 times.)

Michigan vs. Ohio

Seriously, this needs to happen, if only to revel in our mutual animosity toward Ohio State.  Then again, Ohio State has only played Ohio University thrice ever, so it's not like they're playing frequently either.

If I were ranking the matchups I would most like to see Michigan play among teams it has never, ever, played , it would probably be:

1. LSU
2. Clemson
3. Rutgers
4. Ohio
5. Cincinnati

Stay tuned for our national rankings, some time soon.

Everybody else:

Michigan vs. UAB

Michigan vs. Arkansas State

Michigan vs. Central Florida

Michigan vs. East Carolina

Michigan vs. Fresno State

Michigan vs. Idaho

Michigan vs. Louisiana Tech

Michigan vs. Louisiana-Lafayette

Michigan vs. Louisiana-Monroe

Michigan vs. Marshall

Michigan vs. Middle Tennessee State

Michigan vs. Nevada

Michigan vs. UNLV

Michigan vs. New Mexico

Michigan vs. New Mexico State

Michigan vs. North Texas

Michigan vs. San Jose State

Michigan vs. South Alabama

Michigan vs. Southern Mississippi

Michigan vs. Texas-El Paso

Michigan vs. Texas-San Antonio

Michigan vs. Texas State

Michigan vs. Troy

Michigan vs. Tulsa

Michigan vs. Utah State

Michigan vs. Western Kentucky

Michigan vs. Wyoming 

Everybody Talks

May/June is the down time of down times for college football fans.  Spring practices are in the books, the NFL Draft has come and gone, and we're too far out from the fall to have any kind of meaningful discussion with regard to the season forthcoming.  But the college football machine is one that is fed, day in and day out, by the tiniest morsels of information become three day stories.  The cycle of news spins ever faster, the ability to disseminate the smallest fragments of a notion of an idea become fodder.  I'm guilty of feeding this machine but I am also give pause.

This week alone, three stories struck me and I was left to wonder why?
1). Brady Hoke, speaking at an awards banquet in his hometown of Kettering, Ohio, when asked a question about a move toward potential super conferences, said that he could see it, and could see the Big East going away.

2). David Brandon, speaking to the Wolverine Caucus in Lansing, discussed the fundamental changes he has brought to the Michigan athletic department since his arrival.
3). Jim Delany spoke about the president of the B1G preference to the current BCS system, then a plus one, then a four team playoff, but one that was not wedded to a flawed system of polling.

Each of these stories caused disconcert among the Twitterati, created air for sports radio fans**, and endless ability to snark.  I want to handle each one point by point because they all speak to something different.

1). Brady Hoke's superconference answer ultimately means nothing.  He was asked a question at an event where he was the honored guest.  People want to know the opinion of a major figure in the world of college football, and with conference realignment, superconferences have been much on the minds of people who have an interest in college football.  Brady gave his opinion based on what he knows.  Does this carry any more weight than a conference commissioner, or a school president, or an athletic director, or a television executive.  No.  But, many more people know Brady Hoke than many of those other people, so even those Coach Hoke's information may be more limited, his words carry more weight.

"But look, I'm just a coach. I don't know all of it."

Similarly, this wouldn't have even been a story ten years ago.  Now, every comment at every banquet or speaking engagement is a blog post.

2). David Brandon's remarks to the Wolverine Caucus are another in the master plays of "David Brandon's guide to messaging during the off-season".  Hmm, you mean David Brandon, the CEO of Michigan athletics, is speaking to a bunch of government leaders who self-select as Michigan fans or alums enough to attend a meeting of this nature?  You mean there will be press present?  You mean you want to show off how visionary you are because perhaps you still harbor visions of running for governor somewhere down the line?  So you talk about change, about the future, about moving forward, about revenue streams, to people who are receptive to this kind of dialogue.  Why?  Because you stay on message, because that's your job.

3). Delany's comments, which came after a teleconference of the B1G's presidents, are important because I think so many in the national media are missing something here.  Why are so many people convinced that Jim Delany is bad at his job?  Jim Delany may be passionate about the Rose Bowl, Jim Delany may be a traditionalist, but Jim Delany was also the guy who figured out the Big Ten Network, at a time when almost everyone was skeptical about it, and turned it into a cash cow which essentially launched conference realignment into the stratosphere.  So is it possible that Jim Delany is negotiating in public* by setting a B1G position far enough out that the conference and its member schools can give up things that they have publicly stated are meaningful to them, but of which privately they believe that they can be used as bargaining chips?  Delany knows that the SEC holds many of the cards, but sometimes its not about holding the cards.

*--Just because I can't help myself, I am reminded of political scientist Hans Morgenthau's nine rules for successful diplomacy and can see at least four of them at work, tangentially, for Delany:


"The objectives of foreign policy must be defined in terms of the national interest and must be supported with adequate power." Define your interests narrowly, stressing that which really matters, and make sure you have enough power for that purpose.


"Diplomacy must look at the political scene from the point of view of other nations." Other countries have national interests, too, and so long as they are limited and rational they are legitimate.


"Nations must be willing to compromise on all issues that are not vital to them." If you've observed the first three rules, you will be able to see what is vital and what is not. If your adversary does the same, you can find a middle ground.


"Give up the shadow of worthless rights for the substance of real advantage." Don't worry about scoring legal or propaganda points; look to see what you're really getting in terms of national interest.


Now, all of that said, the fact that the B1G ADs caved so readily on campus semifinals sites seems to violate the fourth one on the list there, but still, I think there's something to this.


My point, in all of this, if there is one, is that I think we need to consider the speaker, the venue, and their motives when examining anything that people say, especially at this slow time of year.  Otherwise we're just spinning our wheels.


**--Yes, I realize this footnote is not following the format of the others, but as much as I like The Scott Van Pelt Show, I was upset by the fact that on yesterday's show, Scott and Ryen were so ready to tell the Big Ten that the Rose Bowl is dead without thinking about what the Rose Bowl means to fans of B1G schools.  Just because the ACC or even, to a certain degree, SEC, have a long term, long standing, over century old tie to the Rose Bowl does not mean that fans of schools in those footprints have the right to tell the B1G and its fans that we're stupid for having a fondness for something that occupies a special place in our history.  Whether you want to argue that the B1G is consistently hosed by this arrangement is a whole other discussion worth having, but that is not the one being had at present.