The Nussmeter Continues To Be A Top Priority

Based solely on the performance of the players, the Nussmeter would have held steady at 1. But after a game where the Michigan offense actually became a national scandal instead of a mere local embarrassment, we have no choice but to introduce a new level:

Should it become necessary, the Nussmeter can and will start working its way through the negative transfinite ordinals. Unfortunately there is no largest transfinite number, as that would come in handy if a Harbaugh gets hired.

Yosef Looks Familiar

Appalachian State announced a new alternate logo this week called "Victory Josef." Reaction from the Internet has been mixed. ASU alumni are reportedly supportive of the new logo, but they also liked the "Hot Hot Hot" video, so their taste is questionable at best.

It's a bold move rolling out new product in advance of next fall's Clonus Horror at the Big House. All those ASU shirts in Columbus must be getting worn out by now. But Yosef looks awfully familiar. Let's turn him 90 degrees and switch out his hat:

There we have it. Brian's been working on the inside over there to make sure The Horror doesn't happen again. Now let's put him back in profile:

"Panic and Run Around Screaming" is perfectly good advice after realizing how much you shelled out for a 2014 home schedule featuring Appalachian State.

We don't wait for these nights to arrive, we yell like hell to the heavens

Craig didn't include my suggestion of "The House that Heaven Built" on the MGoMix, but he gave me posting privileges, so he might as well have. Good thing Japandroids album covers are the easiest things in the world to photoshop.

Go Blue! Beat 'Bama!

Happy Valentine's Day from HSR

Nick Saban's Girlfriend Experience

I like that Alabama is the first game of the 2012 season because we can spend eight months taunting them in a way that we would never be able to taunt Western Michigan.

Nick Saban is in the news again, with recruit Landon Collins's mother accusing Saban of offering her son's girlfriend a job in order to entice him to choose Alabama over LSU (fixed). Promising a recruit's girlfriend a job is apparently permissible in football, but not in basketball.

In honor of his new recruiting experience, we present a new poster of Nick Saban:

This may be the first time in internet history that Sasha Grey has been photoshopped out of a picture. If you came here looking for pictures of Sasha Grey, please consult every other website everywhere.

Supervillain recruits East Coast

I thought Simpsonized Dantonio looked more like Seymour Skinner.
My wife said Frank Grimes. You make the call!

Dantonio!

He'll sting you with his dreams of bowl games and good times.

Beware Dantonio!

His twisted twin obsessions are his hatred of Michigan

And hiding his players' crimes.

He'll welcome you into his lair,

Like Jim Tressel welcomes a new vest.

With free second chances and a bail bond in case of arrest!

But beware of his scholarship offers,

And his couches that emanate smoke,

And on Fridays the lunchroom serves pig's blood and burgers and Coke!

He hates Brady Hoke!

Brendan and Brady's Downton Abbey Marathon

What is a 'week end'? What is 'nightmare fuel'?

BRENDAN GIBBONS knocks on the door to BRADY HOKE's office in Schembechler Hall.

Hey coach, I need some academic help.

Sure thing, son. What can I do for you?

I'm taking a history course on Edwardian England this semester, and with the Sugar Bowl and the celebrations and all the girls wanting to celebrate Mardi Gras with me, I'll already way behind on my reading. I need a tutor to help me get caught up!

Lucky man, Brendan! You don't need a special tutor. I can get you caught up lickety-split. Just come by my house on Monday night and be prepared to take notes.

Monday night? Isn't that the BCS national championship?

Yes it is, but as obscure blog The Hoover Street Rag points out, both LSU and Alabama are dirty recruiters, so it really doesn't matter who wins. I was going to start scouting out Alabama for our game in September, but now I figure there's no point until we know who's going to wind up in St. Saban Memorial Hospital. Don't worry about the BCS. I've got a much more entertaining and informative evening in store for you, son!

Yes sir, Coach Hoke! I will be there on Monday!

In Michigan, first you get the power, then you get the sugar, then you get the women.

 

You Got 20 Minutes

Dave Brandon applies techniques he learned in the pizza business to making sure that Michigan athletics remain compliant: (Massive hat tip to HSR Northwest Bureau Chief Dave for this one.)

More Panoramas

The game may not have gone well, but the skies were perfect for some more panorama setup.

Again, I am using Photoshop's "Auto-Stitch" feature to make these,

Empty Stadium Full Size

PreGame01

PreGame02

On the last one, I love that it took 30 seconds to take the eight photos to make said panorama.

Learning Photoshop

This image comes from yesterday's game and I was successfully able to merge four photos into one panoramic shot of Michigan Stadium before the game started.

Enjoy the original size here.

Postgame sets

Occasionally after the marching band postgame show (you do stay for the postgame show, don't you?), the band will make a formation spelling out someone's name and just stand there for a few seconds. Anyone can do this; for a $10,000 donation, you will receive a photograph of the band spelling your name out on the field.But wait! There aren't that many fans in the stadium after the game is done. The photo has to be combined with a stock image of a full stadium to give the appearance that it was taken during halftime. The lesson here: Save MMB photography staff work by staying for the postgame show.

Photographs by Dick Gaskill

New Stadium To Have Advertisements, Fewer Seats, Second Deck

Indignant Bill Martin to press: "Screw everybody!"