Walk the #M00N

GIF via EDSBS's Erase This Game.

Oh won’t you take a sack
Make it 4th and 23
I said “Stuff my tailback”
She said “Shut up and punt with me”
Turnovers are my destiny
She said “Oooooh, shut up and punt with me”

We were victims of the night
The end zone is our kryptonite
Helpless tries to pass and fading routes
Oh we were bound to fail together
Bound to fail together

He took the snap, I don’t know how it happened
He hit the ground and she said

Why can’t you hit the gap
Get stuffed for a loss of three
I said “You’re holding my defensive back”
She said “Shut up and punt with me”
A touchback is my destiny
She said “Oooooh, shut up and punt with me”

A bottled-up run and some failed sneaks
Downfield completion is my third-down dream
I felt the ball hit my chest since he threw to me
I knew we wouldn’t hit the ground together
Go out of bounds together

He took the snap, I don’t know how it happened
He hit the ground and she said

We’re going to march backwards
We’re too close to scoring three
I said “You’ll lose thirty yards”
She said “Shut up and punt with me”
Five and seven is my destiny
She said “Oooooh, shut up and punt with me”

Overtime, can’t let it be the future
I realize this is my last chance
He took the snap, I don’t know how it happened
He hit the ground and she said

Oh don’t you scratch your back
Forget this game could ever be
Please don’t happen again
She said “shut up and punt with me”
A new coach is my destiny
She said “Oooooh, shut up and punt with me”
Don’t you dare look back
It’s now 2015
Forget about last year
She said “shut up and punt with me”
Jim Harbaugh is my destiny
She said “Oooooh, shut up and punt with me”
”Oooooh, shut up and punt with me”
”Oooooh, shut up and punt with me”

Smash Mouth Football

It started here...

As if we all haven't been through enough, BWW bowl announces a Smash Mouth concert as part of the pre game festivities.
— Everett Cook (@everettcook) December 20, 2013

Then this happened...

[chorus] Hey now You're mediocre Head to Tempe Go, Play Hey now You lost to Penn State Are you surprised this bowl's lame? [next verse]
— Scott Bell (@sbell021) December 20, 2013

And, well, since bad song parodies are a thing we do here...

Somebody once told me the SEC is gonna roll me
But they ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
We were looking kind of dumb with our offense in the 'gun
In the shape of an "I" it's what the Borge said

Well, the hits start coming and they don't stop coming
If you don't block, can get the ground running
Didn't make sense not to block or run
Your lizard brain isn't smart so your OC gets dumb


So much to do, beat UConn by three
Couple of bounces might have prevented some bad beats.
You'll never know if you don't go
But then Gibbons misses two off his toe


[Chorus:]
Hey now, you're mediocre
Head to Tempe, Go, Play

Hey now, you lost to Penn State
Are you surprised this bowl's lame?

It's a hot seat and they say it gets warmer
They're fired up now but wait 'til your O Line gets older
But the media men beg to differ
Judging by the hole in the B1G ring picture

Safety depth is getting pretty thin
Gardner's gettin sacked, makes it tough to win
Sparty couches on fire. How about yours?
That's the way we like it as we say stuff untoward.

[Chorus 2x]

Somebody once preened should we call a bubble screen
I need to make plays in space
I said yep what a concept
Just got to execute better myself
Ignoring the calls for O-Coordinator change


Well, the hits start coming and they don't stop coming
If you don't block, can't get the ground running
Didn't make sense not to block or run
Your lizard brain isn't smart so your offense plays dumb

So much to do, beat UConn by three
Couple of bounces might have prevented some bad beats.
You'll never know if you don't go
But then Gibbons misses two off his toe

[Chorus]

And all DB wants is gold
Need a title to break the mold

Hoke of the Rising Sun

So, inspired by this:


and coupled with a distinct love of Eric Burdon and the Animals, as seen here:


We now present "Hoke of the Rising Sun"

There is a game in New Orleans
They call the Sugar Bowl
And it's part of the reviled BCS
The debate can take its toll.

Now Johnny is our tailor
He sewed my new jerseys
Our head coach is a gamblin' man
who wouldn't settle for three.

Now the only thing a gambler needs
Is to go on fourth and one.
And the only time he's needs to punt
Is when the game is won.

(Organ solo)

Oh Brady tell Al Borges
Not to do what he has done
Don't put Denard under center
He's better in shotgun.

Well, Mattison dials up blitzes
And a Michigan defense regained
Just play a stout run stopping D,
Don't let them move the chains

Well, there is a game in New Orleans
They call the Sugar Bowl
And it's part of the reviled BCS
The debate can take its toll.