Going Nowhere

Hey, the band's still good! (Michigan Athletics)

Here am I, going nowhere on a train

Here am I, growing older in the rain

--"Going Nowhere," by Oasis, the B-Side to the 1998 single "Stand By Me" 

It is an old but somehow familiar feeling that I had heading into this past weekend's Michigan football game against #1 in the nation, the Ducks of Oregon. It had been admittedly several years since I walked into Michigan Stadium and thought, "OK, let's just keep it close. Maybe some weird things happen, and we're in it." Then I found out Michigan was down both of its starting cornerbacks and well, there went that.

It was so academic that the lighter turnout in the student section had me checking my CFB scores app frequently to see what was actually happening in Georgia/Florida. I watched Indiana roar back on MSU with 47 unanswered points, knowing that Michigan is heading to Bloomington next week.

Some interesting things did happen in this game.  Interesting doesn't always mean good, but Michigan getting a muffed punt turned into excellent field position to score was certainly interesting.  The Big Ten not reviewing Oregon's first touchdown was certainly interesting.  The fourth down call that ended up with Semaj Morgan throwing a pass to Alex Orji, where Orji ended up running into a CBS camera, was certainly interesting.  But mostly, this looked pretty much like what anyone who had been watching this team all year expected, disorganized and disjointed offensive play calling, defensive choices that allowed busts to happen, and the best team in the country looking like it when it counted.  (I don't mind the last Oregon touchdown.  Perception matters to the committee, and a three-score win looks better than a two-score win.  Besides, Michigan should have stopped them if they didn't want them to score.)

The Washington game gave Michigan the benefit of shattering anyone's illusions about this year's team, and for that, I am grateful.  I do wonder what Michigan would have done against Indiana's schedule to this point, probably 7-2, potentially flipping the MSU and Washington results due to venue, but you play the schedule that the league assigns you (or that your athletic department sets up to try and make for interesting non-conference games that aren't just G5 games.)  Indiana has done virtually everything right this year and has shown one very powerful thing, you can bring a winning culture in with the portal.  Michigan's transition costs from Harbaugh and from winning the national championship were very high, but I think fans would accept the results every time.  (A slightly buzzed Ducks fan leaving Section 7 gave me a pat on the shoulder and said, "You won the national title last year, man.  Someone asked me how long I would be willing to suck to win a Natty, and I said, 'Fifteen years.' so this is nothing, man."  Oregon fans were, by and large, boisterous and positive, and I did not really encounter any jerk behavior on their part.)

If the viewing experience has gotten worse at Michigan Stadium this year, it's because I've been surrounded by more buzzed or drunk fans than at any point in my life.  It's not my place to say Michigan shouldn't have introduced this lucrative revenue stream to the Big House, but it's been kind of a bummer to have folks just saying whatever comes to their mind and expect you to have a full-on conversation with them during game action.  But I am an old man and just one season ticket holder, so my voice will not matter that much.

They're off to Indiana to see what happens next.

Tales from the Spreadsheet

• 38-17 is a Scorigami (meaning in Rodger Sherman parlance, this was a Fetty Wapping, though not a true one because Michigan was the home team.  However, on the Michigan Stadium scorebug, it was, so your mileage may vary.)
• 110,576 were in attendance (the 98th-largest crowd in Michigan Stadium history.)
  
  
• Michigan moves to 3-3-0 all-time against the University of Oregon.
• Michigan moves to 13-3-2 all-time on November 2 (the previous November 2 losses were to Yale in the disastrous 1881 season and to Michigan State in EL in 2013, where Brady Hoke famously said he would have a good assessment of what this team was like...after Week 10.)
  
  
• Michigan moves to 18-17-2 when scoring exactly 17 points.
• Michigan moves to 0-8 all-time when allowing 38 points to the opposition (hey, remember the last time Indiana beat Michigan. Yeah, that was 38-21).
• Michigan has lost 7 games all-time by precisely 21 points, most recently, the 2019 Wisconsin game, where things just felt completely and totally out of sorts.
• Michigan has now played 22 games against AP #1 at the kickoff (the first was Northwestern in 1936? OK, who knew? Anyway...). Michigan is now 3-18-1 in those games. Their first-ever win over AP #1 at the time of kick was the 1969 Ohio State game. They also beat #1 Notre Dame in 1981 and #1 Miami in 1984. The most recent game against #1 at kick was 2019 Ohio State, and I don't want to think about it.)

Go Let It Out

Paul stays in Ann Arbor. (Michigan Athletics)

Paint no illusion, try to click with what you got

Taste every potion 'cause if you like yourself a lot

Go let it out, go let it in, and go let it out

 --"Go Let It Out" by Oasis from the 2000 album Standing on the Shoulders of Giants

For the first time in almost twenty years of blogging about Michigan football, I took last week off from writing a game column.  Partially, I was at a wedding and had to watch the situation from an app in a barn in the Irish Hills, and partially, well, did we really need to talk about last week's game?  Everything that had been a problem continued to be a problem.

But how do you skip talking about the Michigan State game?  Coming in, I told several people who asked me what I thought was going to happen this weekend that for the first time since I first remember having a strong opinion about Michigan/Michigan State, (the infamous 1990 game where Michigan came in as #1 and lost on the failed two-point conversion when Eddie Brown tripped Desmond in the end zone, and it was not called.) I genuinely had no idea what was going to happen and that any result would not surprise me.  (I still predicted Michigan 27, MSU 14, because I've been doing the Friday Five for over two decades.)  But you could be forgiven if thinking Michigan's recent tumble down a seemingly unending staircase would continue based on the first 25 minutes of the game.  But running a hurry-up offense, Michigan got together a drive in just under three minutes capped by a Davis Warren TD pass to Colston Loveland that looked like things would tie things up until a bad snap led to a nightmare two-point conversion attempt, and Michigan was down 7-6.  However, Josiah Stewart strip-sacked Aidan Chiles, and Kenneth Black got his turn with the buffs after just covering this fumble, which set up a short field and a quick Michigan field goal, and the maize and blue were ahead 9-7 at the half, wholly unexpectedly based on what had been shown for much of the first half.

So when Michigan came out of the locker room for the second half with their "July drive" and went 75 yards in a shade over five minutes, things looked much better.  Michigan State would counter with a field goal to bring it back to a one-possession game, but after a three and out for each side, Michigan took advantage of good field position and used arguably their most effective passer, Donovan Edwards, to find Colston Loveland in the end zone (as well as completing the octopus with Davis Warren finding him for the two-point conversion to make the missed extra point moot, which, let's face it, you know was in the back of the mind of most Michigan fans that it was going to be the downfall of this game.)

So here's where it gets interesting.  Michigan State is down two scores and probably needs to move with purpose with 13:20 left in the fourth.  Instead, they went on a thirteen-play, 75-yard drive that took over seven minutes, but one that did end in a touchdown to bring them within seven.  Now Michigan needed to burn clock and...went full Lloydball with a three-and-out that burned just 98 seconds before a middling punt that set MSU up at their own 49.  While an intentional grounding helped push Michigan State back to their own 35, the defense looked like it was going to give it all away, especially after a 30-yard gain on third down to put the Spartans on the edge of the red zone.  While a false start followed a short run to push MSU back outside the red zone, Michigan State faced 4th and 5 from the Michigan 16 and got the two-minute time out to think it over.  Michigan's pressure forced Chiles into a bad throw that was almost picked off in the end zone, but now a new concern.  Michigan got the ball back with 1:52 left to go and the Spartans had all three times out, so Michigan needs at least one first down to not have to punt the ball back to Michigan State (we all remember how that can go.)  But Alex Orji scrambled for a first down, which, ironically, meant Michigan needed another first down, and after two short Mullings runs, 3rd and five loomed with MSU with one timeout left.  But once more, Alex Orji went for eight yards on a designed run, including a gorgeous baseball slide to end it, some kneel downs to end it, some extracurriculars (because, of course), but for just the sixth time since Michigan State joined the Big Ten, an unranked Michigan team won the Battle for Paul Bunyan (as opposed to eight losses, Michigan's been ranked for a lot of these.)  Sherrone Moore becomes the first Michigan coach to beat MSU in his first season.  

Michigan may not have saved their season, but they certainly didn't make it feel any worse than it does at the moment and likely keep the dream of bowl eligibility alive (not that it will be easy, given the Oregon, Indiana, and Ohio State games left on the slate.)  But my goodness, if left with the choice of beating Michigan State in a lost season or losing to Michigan State, we know that this win is a good thing.  Yes, the toxicity of this rivalry needs to come down and there needs to be a path forward where these things don't devolve into fights or worse seemingly every year.  But it is also much nicer to build on a win.  There are some clear things that have improved, while others have slid back a little bit, and it may be difficult to see the improvement next week when #1 Oregon comes in, but for now, Paul stays in Ann Arbor for another year, and that's enough for today.

Tales from the Spreadsheet

• Win 1,009
• 24-17 is NOT a Scorigami (3rd time, most recently 11/20/1999 against Ohio State.)
• 110,828 were in attendance (the 79th-largest crowd in Michigan Stadium history.)
  
  
• Michigan moves to 74-38-5 all-time against Michigan State University.  Michigan retains the Paul Bunyan Trophy for another year (and moves to 41-29-2 in the trophy series).
• Michigan moves to 11-5 all-time on October 26 (the previous October 26 game was the most recent game with Notre Dame in the rain in 2019.) 
  
  
• Michigan moves to 38-8 when scoring exactly 24 points.
• Michigan moves to 37-16-2 all-time when allowing 17 points to the opposition.
• Michigan has won 53 games all-time by precisely 7 points, most recently, well, a Rose Bowl of some acclaim in January 2024.

(It's Good) To Be Free

Dono does like running against UW.  (Michigan Athletics)

The little things they make me so happy

All I wanna do is live by the sea

Yeah, little things they make me so happy

But it's good, yes it's good, it's good to be free

 --"(It's Good) To Be Free" by Oasis, first released as a B-Side to "Whatever." 

Yesterday's game was an interesting exercise in paradigms.  When Washington got out to their 14-0 lead as Michigan's defense looked slow, slippy, and confused, and sometimes all three at once, there was a willingness to say, "Yep, this is what we were all expecting."  The offense looked disorganized.  Injuries, including some we did not know about, were piling up.  It looked very much like the Huskies could name their number and send Michigan into the bye week limping.

The Jack Tuttle came in.  The seventh-year quarterback.  The latest in a series of "Well, maybe this could work" options.  Indeed, he couldn't be much worse than we had seen this season at the position."  Early results were promising.  Tuttle hit a couple of little passes, he scrambled for a pair of seven-yard runs on first downs to keep the chains moving and ahead of the sticks, and then Donovan Edwards looked like the Donovan that we've been waiting for all year, a 39 yard TD run, Michigan was back within seven and a game was to be made of it.  Michigan forced a three-and-out before a second promising drive in a row stalled out at the Washington 27, but a Dominic Zvada field goal was true, and it was 14-10.  Washington would bookend the first half with a second missed field goal, and Michigan would get the ball to start the second half.

One of the biggest things I miss from the Harbaugh years is that Michigan was genuinely a second-half team.  Adjustments would be made, the fitness level would show out, and Michigan would look better closing a game out than they did to start.  For the first drive, it looked like a little bit of Michigan of old, a methodical, efficient 75-yard drive that ended with a little Tuttle scramble to find Colston Loveland uncovered alone in the end zone, and Michigan took a three-point lead.  But that was the last real positive moment on offense.  Washington got a long drive to tie it with a field goal, Michigan didn't seem like it had a real plan on offense again, and things looked up when Ernest Hausmann made a spectacular interception in the middle of the field, but the ball went back to Washington five plays later thanks to a Tuttle fumble, which felt like the doom like object everyone watching was waiting for.  Washington scored a TD to take the lead, Tuttle threw a backbreaking interception trying to hit Loveland, Washington got a field goal, and that was the ten-point margin of victory for the favored Huskies, leading to a confusing field storming on the Montlake Cut and a bizarre suggestion by Noah Eagle that the Huskies had "avenged" their National Championship game loss.  Hmmm...Trophy go Brrr..

This will probably sound strange, but I was disappointed by the loss but almost immediately over it.  This Michigan team is so deeply flawed, with various reasons for those flaws that can be explained away, that I just don't feel the angst of years past.  Winning solves a lot of problems, and it also solves a lot of future problems if you let it.  While it is deeply frustrating and endlessly curious that Michigan's defense looks so middling with three NFL talents on it, well, you know, being very late in the hiring process perhaps left Michigan with an imperfect fit in the name of attempted continuity.  There are other areas that further this cause.  

But here's the thing.  I'm not too broken up about it because it doesn't feel like we're wandering in the desert anymore.  Yes, a blue blood should be able to "reload" and stay at the top of the heap, but that isn't how it worked this time.  I'm OK with that.  I'm still going to enjoy this team for what it is; I'll be disappointed when things don't go right, and I'll still cheer loudly when they are successful.  But in the end, it's good to be free.

Tales from the Spreadsheet

• 17-27 is NOT a Scorigami (3rd time, most recently 11/28/2020, against Penn State, which I mean, I wouldn't blame you if you didn't remember)
• 72,132 were in attendance (or about 700 fewer people than the National Championship Game)
  
  
• Michigan moves to 9-6-0 all-time against the University of Washington.
• Michigan moves to 16-3 all-time on October 28 (losses to MSU in 1935 and Roger Staubach's Navy team in 1963.  The 2019 win over Iowa was the birth of The Spreadsheet.) 
  
  
• Michigan moves to 18-16-2 when scoring exactly 17 points.
• Michigan moves to 6-15 all-time when allowing 27 points to the opposition.
• Michigan has lost 18 games all-time by precisely 10 points, most recently, the aforementioned 2020 Penn State game.

Fade Away

It turns out that rain can be very cinematic as well. (Michigan Athletics)

I'll paint you the picture

'Cause I don't think you live 'round here no more

I've never even seen the key to the door

We only get what we will settle for

While we're living

The dreams we have as children fade away

--"Fade Away" by Oasis, first released as a B-Side to "Cigarettes and Alcohol" 

There is a point in a college football season where you can no longer speak lovingly and hopefully about that which needs to be fixed or corrected.  In general, by the end of the traditional non-conference schedule, it's not that you are what your record says, but it's probably not reasonable to think you're going to see leaps and bounds improvement.  You just have to believe that what you have is good enough to win games.

In the first half, Michigan looked like a team that, if it wasn't complete, it was pretty much what you would hope for after last week.  Defense forcing a punt, Michigan goes on a long touchdown drive, mixing in some passing, and get a long Mullings TD run to go up 7-0.  A missed Gopher field goal lead to a trading of punts for a bit before Michigan stripped the ball from Daniel Jackson and recovered the fumble, setting up a short field and a touchdown eerily similar to last week's game winner (same spot in the same end zone, Mullings running behind Bredeson.) Michigan's up 14-0 and things look good from there.  More three and outs lead back to a Minnesota punt, which Michigan blocked (I called this in the stands, given it was 4th and 21 on the Minnesota 31, I thought Michigan might choose to dial up pressure.  I rarely get these things right, so it was nice to have that one!)  Michigan takes advantage of the short field, touchdown Michigan, 21-0.  An arm punt INT for Minnesota down the sideline looked like Michigan might be able to get wrap around scores, but this was, in fact, the last thing that went exactly right for the maize and blue.

I cannot be completely shocked that a Michigan defense struggled with tempo, it's just, Michigan had two sacks of Minnesota on their end of half two minute drill, the second of which looked to push Minnesota out of field goal range, only to see the Gophers complete a 44 yard hail mary to the one yard line and a fire drill field goal to make it 24-3 to head into the half.

So, here's the thing.  I do not like officiating conspiracies or anything, but I do find it interesting that PJ Fleck had an extended conversation with the officials after Orji ran out of bounds right in front of him (which ended up with Minnesota taking a time out very early in the third quarter) and suddenly, the officiating seemed to turn against Michigan.  The illegal hands to the face personal foul on Graham that kept Minnesota's first touchdown drive alive changed the entire complexion of the game.  Minnesota probably has to settle for a field goal there which would have made it 24-6, but instead, touchdown Gophers a few plays later, now it's 24-10.  Then a great punt return sets up a short field for the Gophers and now it's 24-17 and the entire stadium is starting to feel queasy.  Michigan would go on a long field goal drive to try and burn off clock (there were way too many snaps when there were still double digits on the play clock and the baffling decision to throw on third down with 4:38 left, which stopped the clock.)  But a field goal made it a two possession game.  So of course, Michigan's defense allows the Gophers to go down the field in under three minutes to make it 27-24 game.

Was the offsides call on the onside kick correct?  No, but the ball clearly hit a Gopher in the sequence, so maybe wrong process, correct result.  Michigan couldn't quite kneel it out, but once the 40 second play clock started with 39 second left on the clock, a sigh of relief went up, the Jug stays in Ann Arbor until at least the 2026 meeting in Minneapolis, and Michigan goes to 4-1 with a trip to Seattle on the docket.

I have to keep reminding myself that every game is not integrally connected to some larger, pre-written story, it's an independent event in a series of chapters that make up the story.  Wins are better than losses, but it's hard to see the wins keep coming with the things that keep showing up week in and week out. 

Tales from the Spreadsheet

• Win 1,008
• 27-24 is NOT a Scorigami (4th time, most recently 9/21/2024 in last week's game against USC)
• 110,340 were in attendance (the 110th-largest crowd of Michigan Stadium history.)
  
  
• Michigan moves to 78-25-3 all-time against the University of Minnesota.  Michigan retains the Little Brown Jug at least until the next scheduled meeting between the teams, at Minnesota in 2026.
• Michigan moves to 14-1 all-time on September 28 (only loss is the 51-31 loss to Florida State in 1991) 
  
  
• Michigan moves to 46-7 when scoring exactly 27 points.
• Michigan moves to 19-18 all-time when allowing 24 points to the opposition.
• Michigan has won 49 games all-time by precisely 3 points, most recently, well, last week.

Slide Away

Will power, it's now or never. (Michigan Athletics)

Slide in baby, together we'll fly

I've tried praying

But I don't know what you're saying to me

Now that you're mine

We'll find a way of chasing the Sun

Let me be the one who shines with you

In the morning, we don't know what to do

Two of a kind

We'll find a way to do what we've done

Let me be the one who shines with you

And we can slide away

--"Slide Away" by Oasis from their 1994 debut album Definitely Maybe

I think the Stripe Out was a great metaphor for this week.  The instructions were simple enough, odd sections in maize, even sections in navy, students in maize.  I had my doubts because Michigan fans are a "you can't tell me what to do" group, each in their own little ways.  But those doubts were tempered by possibility.  It could work.  I could be one of those things that is straightforward enough that even when faced with failure points, it comes through.

In other news, Alex Orji was named Michigan's starting quarterback for this game against USC.

On some level, most observers of Michigan football with Alex Orji at quarterback figured the game plan would be:

• Rely on a stout offensive line to make holes for the running back
• Run with your one-two punch of Edwards and Mullings
• Throw occasionally to try and stop the opponents from stacking the box
• Play like demons on defense and force some turnovers to create scores or short fields.
• Make fewer mistakes than they do.

And honestly, it kind of worked for a while.  Michigan got explosive 40+ yard touchdown runs from Mullings and Edwards and held USC to a short field goal to head into the locker room up 14-3 in what, much like looking at the Stripe Out's success, was a pleasant surprise.

But, if you're one dimensional on offense, it does make it much easier to stop you, and USC came out of the locker room with some significant adjustments on both sides of the ball.  Only a Will Johnson pick six (to make him Michigan's all-time leader in interceptions returned for a touchdown) kept Michigan's hopes alive, but after a wide open Trojan found the end zone with just over seven minutes remaining to go up 24-20 (and suddenly the blocked extra point loomed large).  Michigan's response drive was...a three and out that went for -4 yards and resulted in a punt that USC took on Michigan's 38.  Michigan's defense, to their immense credit, rose up and got a three and out with negative yardage, which put Michigan's offense on their own 11 with just over four minutes left.  The brain trust in the crowd was imploring Michigan to move it, but also, without a sense of a passing game, it seemed highly improbable that Michigan was going to find a way to get back into the lead.  Orji found Marlin Klein for a ten yard pass, setting up a critical third and one.

Enter Kalel Mullings.

Kalel Mullings, fittingly, played Superman on the next carry, blasting through the line, up the middle of the field, shedding a tackler that had wrapped himself completely around Mullings waist, stiff arming a second that had joined the fun, and 63 yards later, set up a 1st and 10 inside the USC red zone at the 17 as the we hit the two minute timeout.  Michigan still needed six more plays, 1-8-2-3-incomplete-2 to set up the ball game, fourth and goal from the 1.  Everyone in my section is spending the time out to reach the same conclusion, don't get cute, off tackle behind the fullback.  Kirk Campbell agreed, Mullings followed his blockers, got a full foot down in the end zone before getting pushed back.  The official's arms went up, the point after sailed through the uprights, and Michigan was up by three with 37 seconds to go.

Michigan's defense made the remaining time perfunctory, not allowing USC to cross midfield before forcing a turnover on downs.  Michigan kneeled it out and had an improbable "season-saving" victory over a top 15 team and, as strange as it sounds, a win in the conference opener.

Michigan threw for 32 total yards in this game, and won.  According to Jason Kirk, this is the sixth time since Jim Harbaugh took over in 2015 that Michigan threw for less than 100 yards.  They have won all six of those games.  Michigan believes its identity is a running football team, that is is SMASH, that it can impose its will upon you without being multiple.  This might be true.  But it would have been very easy to point to those 32 total yards of passing offense as "you just can't win like that in modern football."  That's probably also very true.  

"Slide Away" might be my favorite Oasis song.  Noel claims that the song was just waiting for him in the guitar he borrowed from Johnny Marr of the Smiths, Marr having got it from Pete Townshend of The Who. But it took Noel to find the song, to put it together, and to make it what many consider the lynchpin of their much beloved debut album.  For one afternoon at Michigan Stadium, on the final day of summer, Michigan ran for its life, it found the song that was just in the guitar and was rewarded in the end.  That doesn't always happen, so we must savor it when it does. 

Tales from the Spreadsheet
Win 1,007
27-24 is NOT a Scorigami (3rd time, most recently 10/9/2004 in the Little Brown Jug game against Minnesota.)
110,702 were in attendance (the 92nd-largest crowd of Michigan Stadium history.)

Michigan moves to 5-6-0 all-time against the University of Southern California.
You may remember that Michigan moves to 6-2 all-time on the 21st night of September. (Losses to Cal in 1968 and Wisconsin in 2019)

Michigan moves to 45-7 when scoring exactly 27 points.
Michigan moves to 18-18 all-time when allowing 24 points to the opposition.
Michigan has won 48 games all-time by precisely 3 points, most recently, the 2021 Nebraska game with the Haskins Hurdle and Money Moody.

I Hope, I Think, I Know

Well, things are definitely happening. (Michigan Athletics)

They're trying hard to put me in my place

And that is why I gotta keep running

The future is mine and it's no disgrace

'Cause in the end the past means nothing

You tell me I'm free, then you tie me down

And from my chains I think it's a pity

What did it cost you to wear my crown?

You don't like me, why don't you admit it?

"I Hope, I Think, I Know" by Oasis from their 1997 album Be Here Now. 

I hope, I think, I know is a very useful framework for discussing things because it allows a person to classify the knowledge they possess.  It's even more useful in a sporting context, because a lot of things that sports fans "think" are actually things they hope.

So, I hope the Michigan coaching staff takes a hard look at the starting offensive personnel for this week's game and makes some hard decisions about what the future looks like.  I think they need to do that, because Davis Warren is not valuing the football, Donovan Edwards seems like he has difficulty running between the tackles, and the offensive line still looks like it needs time to find the best five out there.  I don't know anything though, this is just the observations of a fan.

Michigan was up 28-3 with nine minutes to go thanks to three rushing TDs and a solid short pass from Orji to Hogan Hansen for a fourth TD and they pulled the defensive starters.  So when the second-string allowed a nine play, 64 yard TD drive that featured any number of missed tackles, well, it's annoying.  OK fine, a three and out to just try and end the game, again, annoying, but what are you going to do in that situation. BUT the roughing the passer on a fourth and 3 that fell incomplete was one of the signs of the biggest symptoms of problems on the Michigan team.  So of course Michigan gives up a late touchdown and two point conversion to make everybody but Arkansas State feel worse about themselves.

I hope things will get better, and I think they will because the talent is there.  But I know that this season is definitely not shaping up the way most of us thought it was going to back during the summer. 

Tales from the Spreadsheet
Win 1,006
28-18 is NOT a Scorigami (2nd time, most recently 11/25/1989 in the season finale against Ohio State.)
110,250 were in attendance (the 110th-largest crowd of Michigan Stadium history, 16th largest Homecoming crowd).

Michigan moves to 1-0-0 all-time against Arkansas State University.
Michigan moves to 6-1 all-time on September 14. (Lot of Notre Dame matchups on this day.)

Michigan moves to 43-6 when scoring exactly 28 points.
Michigan moves to 8-3 all-time when allowing 18 points to the opposition.
Michigan has won 36 games all-time by precisely 10 points, most recently, the 2016 Indiana game in the snow.

Some Might Say

Real talk: I kind of forgot Charleston was on the roster until he caught this pass (Michigan Athletics) 

Some might say that sunshine follows thunder

Go and tell it to the man who cannot shine

Some might say that we should never ponder

On our thoughts today 'cause they hold sway over time

Some might say we will find a brighter day

--"Some Might Say" by Oasis, the lead single off their 1995 album (What's the Story) Morning Glory

I am not saying I was some kind of prophet when I say this, but my mind had been coming back all week to Michigan's 1998 game against Syracuse.  I remember that game very well, like even when I looked at the box score, it was exactly what I remembered.  It was a warm and windy September day.  Donovan McNabb sliced and diced Michigan through the air and on the ground, Syracuse was up 24-7 at half, and 38-7 at the end of three, and Michigan put up 21 in the fourth, it was never as close as the final score indicated.  It was as bad as I remember feeling at Michigan Stadium about watching a Michigan team until probably 2007 Oregon (App State was shock and disbelief, it's a different bad feeling.)  There are days where it is just not your day and you have to accept that.  I wondered if this Texas team, that looked really good on paper, would put it all together on the big stage.

They did, and then some.

It is not a surprise that a team where Quinn Ewers is playing well enough to keep Arch Manning on the bench without even a rumbling would be able to execute on offense, even down their top two running backs.  Sark schemed up some beautifully simple plays to get his guys into space, the Texas offensive line blocked very well, and Michigan decided that missing tackles would be a solid thing to keep doing and Michigan was down 24-3 at the half and it could have been much worse.

That Michigan did not look organized or competent on offense until when they game had already been decided was deeply frustrating and speaks more to future concerns than anything else.  Receivers looked to be struggling with their positioning with an alarming frequency, Davis Warren often looking like he was only comfortable throwing passes when he was running for his life, very little out of a running game that allegedly on paper was one of the strongest position groups.  All of it was confounding and none of it looked like it has easy answers.  

And yet, there's a level of...it's not contentment and it's not indifference.  It feels like having returned to the mountaintop, having proven it's possible, a number of Michigan fans looked at all of the changes that happened between last year and this year, accounted for it appropriately in their emotional tenor, and while aren't happy that things felt so off and so non-competitive for most of the day, it's that they understood the circumstances.  They're upset, but it's tempered by the context of last season, of the last three seasons.  So many things went right, it almost feels like there's a cosmic paying of the piper occurring (which some might argue that the years preceding this run had already built up the karmic credit, but that's an epistemological discussion for another day.)

I do believe that brighter days are ahead, but clearly they're going to come with a lot of work to do to get there.  Let's hope there's a plan in place to get there.

Tales from the Spreadsheet

31-12 is a Scorigami

111,170 were in attendance (the 60th-largest crowd of Michigan Stadium history, largest post-pandemic crowd).

Michigan moves to 0-2-0 all-time against the University of Texas.

Michigan moves to 4-1 all-time on September 7.

Michigan moves to 16-9-2 when scoring exactly 12 points (many of these 12 point games were pre-WWI.)

Michigan moves to 8-12-0 all-time when allowing 31 points to the opposition.

Michigan has lost 7 games all-time by precisely 19 points, most recently, the cursed 2020 Citrus Bowl vs. Alabama.

The Masterplan

Jump the route, secure the win. (Michigan Athletics)

Take the time to make some sense

Of what you want to say

And cast your words away upon the waves

Sail them home with acquiesce

On a ship of hope today

And as they land upon the shore

Tell them not to fear no more

Say it loud and sing it proud today

--"The Masterplan" by Oasis on their 1995 single "Wonderwall"

(For the record, I had decided in March that Oasis would be this year's theme.  The reunion tour announcement this week was mere affirmation of that choice.)

It was lingering in the back of my head that the last time Michigan won the national title, it lost not just its first game, but its first two games, of the ensuing season.  I was in the Big House crowd when Donovan McNabb sliced, diced, and julienned a Michigan team that was down several key players from the team that had won the title.  While the indicators said that Fresno State might provide a test for this Michigan team with a new coach, a largely new offense, and newly freed from the weight of decades of expectations, Michigan should be able to handle its business and get ready for a Week 2 showdown with a big time opponent with a returning quarterback that might be able to McNabb the maize and blue.

For a moment at the beginning of the game, it looked like those fears would be unfounded.  Michigan's defense, the thing that no one was worried about, reminded the entire crowd of 110,665 that they were right and proper to feel that way.  Zeke Berry picked off Fresno State's third play of the game, setting up the Michigan offense with a short field, and after Davis Warren started, it was Alex Orji finding Donovan Edwards on a play very similar to the JJ to Roman game-tying TD in the Rose Bowl to go up 7-0 just four minutes into the season.  The rout was surely on.

Except, it wasn't.  

A brief interlude on vibes.  Michigan fans are creatures of vibes.  As rational and clear headed as they may want people to think they are when they present themselves to the world, this is a deeply vibes based fan culture.  I suspect most fandoms are.  It's why so many fans have rituals and superstitions, because they know they aren't the reason things happen, but they certainly do not want to be the reason things fell apart.  Yes, it is supremely silly, but at its core, so is fandom.  This is not a new observation, it is one of the core observations of fandom.  So when I say that the vibes were off yesterday, it explained a lot to me.  I couldn't get Strawberry Lemonade Fast Twitch Gatorade like I did before every game last year, so I had to settle for Strawberry Watermelon.  My favorite BBQ place was back at the Big House, but they swapped out my pre-game meal for a new creation, which, while good, just felt slightly off.  The M Den is still there, but because of the business situation, it felt slightly off.  Michigan Stadium PA announcer Carl Grapentine was at his daughter's wedding, so he wasn't there to greet the new year, and while his substitute Jason Morris did an admirable job, hearing him say the same things we've heard Carl say to us hundreds of times just felt slightly off.

So when the first half turned into a trade of punts, a Davis Warren throw getting picked off deep, and a trade of field goals to send the teams into the locker room at 10-3 Michigan, it was this realization that while the defense looked stout and largely unbending, the offense looked like it could not get out of its own way.  The grumbles for Alex Orji filtered through the crowd as the Michigan Marching Band played a show of "Celebrations" and hopes that Michigan's traditional halftime adjustments would get things back on the right track.

While a field goal to extend the lead to 10 was a nice way to open the half, it was largely because transfer kicker Dominic Zvada boomed a 53-yarder.  More punts, another booming Zvada field goal, this one squeaking in from 55 yards out, and Michigan had a 16-3 lead with just 12 minutes left in the game, and hopefully a sleepy fourth quarter to get everyone on to the next one.

Fresno State decided that the only shot they had to move the ball was to run the 2020 Rocky Lombardi chuck it deep and hope it gets caught playbook.  AND IT WORKED.  In just 2:36, the Bulldogs had their first touchdown of the game, the score was 16-10 and suddenly the close game alerts started dropping in on the phones that could get service at Michigan Stadium.

Michigan needed to answer the bell with a vintage grinder drive, slow, methodical, chewing up clock and moving the ball consistently that ended in a touchdown.  Thanks in large part to Kalel Mullings, that is exactly what happened, capped by Davis Warren's first career TD pass, fittingly an 18 yard toss to #18 himself, Colston Loveland.  Michigan was up 23-10, but the nerves were still on high alert in the stadium.

The next drive is one of the most fascinating and annoying sequences I have ever witnessed.  The Bulldogs' first pass is intercepted, the crowd goes wild...and it's overturned by the replay officials because it hit the turf first.  OK, so definitely no home cooking from the Big Ten's new replay command center.  OK, so the Bulldogs' second pass is intercepted by Makari Paige and returned to the Fresno 12.  OK, excellent...wait, there's a flag...excessive celebration.  No, T.J. Guy was called for roughing the passer, which on replay was a clear flop by Fresno State's QB Mikey Keene, so now Fresno has the ball at their 40, but wait, there was an excessive celebration penalty, so now the Bulldogs have the ball at the Michigan 45.  A false start by Fresno, which I swear was in part the officials attempting to calm the Michigan crowd down, puts the ball back at the 50, then a Bulldogs pass for 11 yards, PLUS a TJ Guy facemask and a couple of plays later, Fresno has the ball at the Michigan 10 and the defense looks completely out of sorts.  Enter Will Johnson, so read the play, jumped the screen pass perfectly and dashed 86 yards to the end zone for the game sealing score, finally having a turnover buffs celebration on the sideline for one that counted and the entire stadium collectively exhaled.

When Michigan has been so good for so long, blessed by top caliber players and a culture that demands excellence, it's hard to remember sometimes that new players are going to take a minute to find themselves.  Michigan won, they start the season with a win, the showdown with Texas next week is unsullied.  Perhaps Michigan was looking ahead, spending too much time prepping for this challenge and not enough time on what they presumed to be a relatively straightforward affair.  The Masterplan is there, and it will reveal itself in time.  But never, ever, diminish a win just because it didn't happen the way you expected it to happen.  

Tales from the Spreadsheet

Win 1,005

30-10 is NOT a Scorigami (2nd time, most recently 9/4/2010 in the season opener against Connecticut.)

110,665 were in attendance (the 88th-largest crowd of Michigan Stadium history).

Michigan moves to 1-0-0 all-time against Fresno State University.

Michigan moves to 5-0 all-time on August 31. (The birthday win streak lives.)

Michigan moves to 10-1 when scoring exactly 30 points (the lone loss to Miami (FL) in 1988.)

Michigan moves to 56-10-1 all-time when allowing 10 points to the opposition.

Michigan has won 26 games all-time by precisely 20 points, most recently, the aforementioned UConn game.

Wild Horses

The secondary that was essentially a primary. (Patrick Barron)

Childhood living is easy to do

The things you wanted, I bought them for you

Graceless lady, you know who I am

You know I can't let you slide through my hands

--"Wild Horses" by the Rolling Stones on their 1971 album Sticky Fingers

I have a confession to make. When I decided in April that the theme of this year's columns would be Rolling Stones songs, I presumed the most straightforward choice would be to simply drop in "You Can't Always Get What You Want" for the first loss of the season. Maybe it was to Michigan State, perhaps it was some random unexpected "one of those days" games, maybe it would be the Ohio State game, perhaps a CFP game. But the answer was right there all along. You can't always get what you want, but if you try, sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need. 

 It is perhaps unsurprising that I believed Michigan would win as soon as ESPN used "Gimme Shelter" as a backing track for promos. Sure, the two lightning-strike Donovan Edwards touchdowns were a few evidentiary points in favor of that sense of belief, but when you are looking for evidence of things yet unseen, you take any signs you can that show you the way home. But then, after a while, it began to feel like a harbinger of doom. Michigan never trailed in this game, but for a long stretch of the second and third quarters, it felt like letting Washington hang around, especially this Washington team, would be a mistake. When Washington got their touchdown late in the second quarter, then Cornelius Johnson could not get out of bounds to stop the clock, essentially killing any chance of getting a quick score before the half. Every pundit was all too eager to point out that Washington was going to get the ball to start the second half, so Michigan was likely doomed.

Though likely unaware of the specifics, Will Johnson did not agree with this assessment. Johnson picked off Michael Penix's first pass of the third quarter, and while Michigan, due to some uncharacteristic pre-snap penalties, could not turn it into more than a field goal, it put Michigan up 10. Washington answered back with a field goal of their own before the third quarter turned into the classic Big Ten game we were expecting, with a dizzying array of six punts between the two teams. The sixth in the sequence was aided by a brief moment of terror when Penix finally hit Rome Odunze for a long pass, only to have it called back on a penalty because Braeden McGregor was thrown to the ground as he rushed Penix. The pressure on Penix all night was tremendous, and as the game wore on, Michigan's defensive line began to harry Penix more and more effectively, making Washington's Joe Moore Award-winning offensive line look suspect in the same way that Georgia did to Michigan's award-winning unit in the 2021 Orange Bowl.

Jake Thaw fair caught the punt at the Michigan 29, and the conventional wisdom was that Michigan could just go on one of their trademark clock-chewing drives to...oh no, wait, JJ McCarthy found Colston Loveland for a 41-yard catch and run, and Michigan was suddenly in striking distance of the Washington end zone. A short Blake run, Roman Wilson for 12 on a nifty crossing route, Blake for three more. Then the theoretical dagger, Blake Corum for 12 hard yards and a touchdown, his 15th game this season with a touchdown. The man who came back one more year specifically to win a championship had just put Michigan in a position to be able to do it. The final 8th of the game was about to ensue, and Michigan was up two scores.

Washington would need to use the chaos engine they had ridden to 14-0 to get them back in this game, but Michigan's defense was determined to not allow it. OK, they were determined not to allow it after Penix hit Odunze for a 44-yard pass to get Washington within striking distance of Michigan's end zone in a bit of nifty symmetry. The torpor that the game had fallen into had been duly shaken off. But then a Washington false start, two incompletions with a short two-yard gain, and Washington faced 4th and 13. Michigan took a time-out, the play went off...and both teams committed a penalty, so we did it all over again. That's when Mike Sainristil, a player already in the hall of Michigan immortals for his textbook PBU on Cade Stover in the 2022 Ohio State game, ascended to Michigan football Valhalla with his interception and 81-yard return to the Washington 10. It would have been cool if Sainristil cashed that one in, but, well, you can't always get what you want. Besides, two quick Blake Corum runs put Michigan up 21, and Michigan fans could finally breathe.

I watched you suffer a dull, aching pain
Now you decided to show me the same
No sweeping exits or offstage lines
Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind

15 wins. 0 losses. A seven-touchdown shutout of their in-state rival on the rival's field. The first football program in the nation to win one thousand games. A third straight win over Ohio State. A third straight outright Big Ten championship. A ninth Rose Bowl win in program history. The first College Football Playoff championship game win. The 12th claimed national championship in program history. For all of the doubt about Michigan being a fading blueblood that would have been reasonable in the late years of the first decade of this millennium, reinforced by the first half of the 2010s, it was not unreasonable to think that the college football world had passed Michigan by, turning the Wolverines into an FBS equivalent of Princeton or Yale, legends of the early 20th century that did not have a place in the modern era. So when Michigan hired Jim Harbaugh, many people outside the Michigan circle treated it with skepticism because of the way that much of the fanbase regarded it with a near messianic fervor. It was also reasonable to see it from their point of view. The two-thirds of Harbaugh's tenure to this point was marked with varying levels of disappointment that can only come with a rising tide of expectations. But the last three years have been utterly remarkable. A likable group of guys built on the idea of "let's build the entire team out of dorks who love football and are really, really good at it."  A group unburdened by the fanbase's collective history. These players may know the shapes and silhouettes of "The Horror" or "The Spot," but they are merely scars on other people's souls that they have inquired about respectfully. But whether one has been here for one game, one season, one decade, or one lifetime as a fan, this banner now hangs. (OK, weirdly, Michigan Stadium doesn't really have banners. The Glick does, but that's beside the point.)  It was a fantastic ride, with, as the ESPN pre-game stated, "memories that will, paradoxically, grow sharper as the years pass."  Michigan is your 2023 Division I FBS College Football Playoff Champion.

Wild horses* couldn't drag me away.
Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them some day.

(*-I swear it wasn't until about 45 minutes into writing this column that I realized someone would think that "Wild Horses" was a Connor Stallions joke, which I did not intend, but...)

Tales from the Spreadsheet

• Win 1,004
• 34-13 is NOT a Scorigami (2nd time, most recently 10/31/1981 in Minneapolis, retaining the Jug.)
• 72,808 were in attendance (the 12th-largest crowd of Michigan's season).
  
  
• Michigan moves to 9-5-0 all-time against the University of Washington.
• Michigan extends a three-game winning streak over the Huskies.
• Michigan moves to 1-0 all-time on January 8. (OK, that isn't surprising.)
  
  
• Michigan moves to 38-0 when scoring exactly 34 points.
• Michigan moves to 46-12-1 all-time when allowing 13 points to the opposition.
• Michigan has won 35 games all-time by precisely 21 points, most recently, the 2022 B1G Championship Game win over Purdue.

Route 66

Blake put the team on his back, and the rest is history. (Patrick Barron)

Well, if you ever plan to motor west

Jack, take my way that's the highway that's the best

Get your kicks on Route 66

--"Route 66" as covered by the Rolling Stones on their 1964 album The Rolling Stones

In late June of this year, my family departed on a road trip covering 28 days, 7600+ miles, 19 states, and ten National Parks. When discussing some of the ideas on social media, noted Michigan game photographer and National Parks enthusiast Patrick Barron gave me a strong note not to sleep on Canyonlands after leaving Arches; it was majestic and beautiful and worth my time. So even though we had to get from Green River, Utah, to Zion the next morning (which was poor timing on our part since it put us in Zion on the most popular day of the year, but that's not the story), we slipped down to Canyonlands and explored a bit of one of the Mighty Five. At the end of the main road in the Island in the Sky section, we discovered the Green River Overlook, a vista 1,000 feet above the canyons carved by the Green and the Colorado rivers, explored by John Wesley Powell and his team in 1869.

Green River Overlook, Island in the Sky section of Canyonlands NP, July 1, 2023.

A perfect combination of timing, weather, and nature's glory combined to get the picture you see above. My wife and son have expressed confusion about why Canyonlands rated so highly of the ten parks we visited, but this moment spoke to me. I thought back to how Ralph Waldo Emerson believed that if man communed with nature, it could lead to a moment where you would achieve a tremendous spiritual understanding. I had never had that moment before standing there looking out at these canyons carved over the ages by the rivers below. It was one of the most singular experiences in my life, and it made me realize that there are endless possibilities; we just have to be willing to seek them out.

Well, it winds from Chicago to LA

More than 2000 miles all the way

Get your kicks on Route 66

The Rose Bowl Stadium facade, Pasadena, California, July 3, 2023.

Two days later, we departed St. George, Utah, very early, drove through the Mojave and Colorado Deserts and Joshua Tree National Park, and ended up in Pasadena, where we would stay on the first night of our week in the LA area. We pulled into the massive parking lot of the stadium, and despite being nearly 100 degrees in southern California that day, I began to explore this secular holy place in the religion of Michigan football. In Slate yesterday, Split Zone Duo's Alex Kirshner made the following case:

The extent of football fans’ care about the Rose Bowl as an institution cleaves along geographic lines, with plenty of Southerners not yearning much for a game or stadium whose history is wrapped up in the Big Ten and Pac-12. But Michigan has as much of that history as anyone. The Wolverines won the first Rose Bowl in 1902, before the current stadium even stood, and no fan base sees its team as a guardian of sacred college football tradition quite like Michiganders do. The Rose Bowl is Michigan-core.

One of the paradoxes of the Rose Bowl is that Michigan fans do generally hold it in their hearts as the pinnacle of the college football season, even if Michigan was 4-12 in their 16 appearances here since man first landed on the moon. Why are we drawn to this place that knows vastly more heartache and disappointment for Michigan teams than glory? Because this place is special, and that is all it needs to be. As I walked around the stadium's perimeter that July afternoon, catching what glimpses I could while it was being prepped for an LA MLS Derby the next day, I found myself forced onto the neighboring golf course and having to slip through a couple of locked gates to get back to my car. But I had walked the perimeter of the shrine of the Arroyo Seco, knowing that if the Michigan team that was to kick off in two months was worthy, they themselves would be in this place for the first time in what seemed like an eternity.

On the first day of this decade, the day that also marked the most recent meeting between Michigan and Alabama, Spencer Hall laid out the case for loving the Rose Bowl that has stuck with me henceforth:

On January 1, color TV images of college football games beamed back to Midwesterners and Northeasterners drinking bad coffee in their freezing living rooms. Someone watching the immortal, glorious sunset against the San Gabriels had to look and think: Why am I here, and not there?  The Rose Bowl wasn't just the place teams went when they were very, very good. It was a little piece of a whole life anyone could have simply by having the will to go. 

The Rose Bowl Stadium facade, Pasadena, California, January 1, 2024.

I did not expect to be here. That is not a stand-in for the concept of Michigan not being at the Rose Bowl; while the path to immortality in any college football season is fraught with the peril of a thousand little breaks that can go wrong, I knew Michigan had an excellent chance to be in Pasadena as the world celebrated the beginning of the New Year. No, I genuinely meant me. I never expected to be at the Rose Bowl. I wouldn't have deigned to ask, especially after the epic nature of our summer sojourn west. But when my wife and her brother coordinated that, yes, we were buying the Alumni Association tour package, and staying at the team hotel, here I was, just a shade under six months later, standing at The Grandaddy of them All. We had done all of the things that go with this tour: we had finished second and third place in the Rose Bowl trivia contest at the welcome party, we had attended the Pep Rally where the MMB sounded great, and someone needed to fact-check President Ono's pep related messaging (which he then, to his credit, at least made the same mistake about Tom Brady vs. Alabama in a bowl game the next day at the tailgate.), we talked to players in the lobby (shouts out to the always awesome Leon Franklin, Kenneth Grant, and Trente Jones.)  We were about to head into the biggest football game in modern Michigan football history, either a program redefining win or the end of a great era that never quite got to the mountaintop. All Michigan had to do was defeat the Great and Powerful Saban and his not-quite-fully operational battle station...with a month to prepare.

Well, do get hip to this kindly tip
And go take that California trip
Get your kicks on Route 66

When I mentioned to people that we were doing the trip, I heard refrain repeatedly: "It's one of the few things in life that lives up to the hype." Those people were absolutely correct. Any expectations I had built up in my mind were being met. The grass so green, the sky so clear and blue, the breeze feeling like a late September game in Ann Arbor, not the first day of January. I stood in my seat in the Michigan end zone, a mere forty rows up as opposed to my usual seventy in The Big House, and I soaked everything in, the Alabama band and the MMB in their pregame, followed by the MMB nailing the anthem as the B-2 Spirit stealth bomber flew directly overhead. The game was about to kick off, and I was ready. I had a feeling akin to that moment at Canyonlands, but this time, it was the beauty of nature combined with the curated hands of people to make a moment. There were endless possibilities, but only one outcome to be determined.

I don't really have any pictures from the Rose Bowl Game. I have the moment before kickoff and nothing else after that until after the last snap. I was genuinely trying to live (and not die) in the moment. When JJ's first pass looked like an interception, I laughed at how the football gods had decided to tell us straight away that pain, our longtime companion in Pasadena, had also bought the tour package. But then it was overturned on replay. By the end of the first half, even though Michigan led, I had no fewer than half a dozen "you just cannot make this mistake in the post-season and expect to win" ledes written for whatever this column would become. But I was never angry, not even when Alabama took the lead, not even when Alabama extended their lead. But, as Michigan got the ball back with 4:41 left and ESPN's win probability peaking for Alabama at 88.8%, all I could hear in my head was Leonard Nimoy's voice near the end of Star Trek VI, "I've been dead before." I did not know it was going to work; I did not know Michigan would win. I had to believe that it could work. So Blake and JJ went to work themselves, determined to write their own legend, joined by an offensive line holding fast and Roman Wilson atoning for a block in the back with one of the most improbable, spectacular catches I've ever witnessed in person, followed by his touchdown. Turner's extra point tied the game, and the concern was, "Did Michigan give Bama too much time?" Well, maybe, but Michigan's defense was not going to let things end poorly and forced an Alabama punt, leading to the utterly terrifying sequence on the opposite end of the field from where I was sitting where Jake Thaw's misadventure with a punt nearly gave Michigan a game-ending fate forever worse than "trouble with the snap." But Providence did not choose cruelty today, and Michigan moved the game to overtime. I chuckled to myself. I was trying to figure out the symbolic meaning of my hotel room number 1348. Game 1348 was the 2020 game against Rutgers or Michigan's most recent overtime game. That's what it meant.

If you were watching at home, you saw Mike Sainristil come out alone for the coin toss for overtime and perhaps thought it was odd until Blake ran in from off-screen. What you did not see at home is that Blake had run all the way down to the Michigan end zone, and with every ounce of energy he could muster, he exhorted the Michigan crowd to get up and get loud, which it did. Alabama won the toss again, but this was perhaps a blessing in disguise, forcing a hot Michigan offense back out on the field and forcing Alabama to try and score on an end zone defended not just by 11 players in maize and blue but by a chorus of fans desperate for not just a victory, but this victory. Corum took care of his part with a solid run on first down and a showstopper on second down that looked like 2022 Blake Corum. Now, it would be on the defense to try and end this. After getting a stop on first and goal, a TFL on second down, and Josh Wallace planting his cleats in the verdant grass of the Rose Bowl turf to stop Jermaine Burton from getting beyond the three-yard line, we faced a fourth and goal from the three, essentially a two-point conversion that would either keep Alabama alive or end the game. Burton cramped, leading to a delay, then Michigan called a time out, then Alabama called a time out, but the play was finally here. Like so many in the game, the Crimson Tide snap was low, Jalen Milroe had to take a half step back to retrieve it, Michigan's defensive line collapsed the center of the Alabama line, and Milroe was stopped after just one yard. Michigan had won the football game.

The Michigan crowd exploded into a roar, a cathartic release that comes from a combination of years of heartbreak and rising expectations on the impossibility that, for the first time in more than a quarter-century, Michigan would leave Pasadena in sheer joy. There was hugging, so much hugging, hugging family, hugging strangers, cheering, crying, singing The Victors, and just knowing that just happened.  

For the first time in 144-team history, Michigan football will have a singular opportunity to stake a claim to an undisputed national championship. It will need to defeat a Washington team that can move the ball and score as well as anyone in the country. But that matchup in Houston is still to come. For now, let us celebrate the moment when the past, present, and future of Michigan football finally came together in one of the most hallowed places in the program's heritage. Michigan won the Rose Bowl. 

Tales from the Spreadsheet

• Win 1,003
• 27-20 is NOT a Scorigami (4th time, most recently 10/14/2017 in Bloomington, defeating Indiana in Overtime)
• 96,371 was the attendance (the 15th largest crowd of Michigan's 21 Rose Bowl Game appearances.)
  
  
• Michigan moves to 3-3-0 all-time against the University of Alabama.
• Michigan snaps a two-game losing streak to the Crimson Tide.
• Michigan moves to 16-20 all-time on January 1. This game was Michigan's first New Year's Day win over a school that wasn't Florida since the 2001 Citrus Bowl win over Auburn.
  
  
• Michigan moves to 44-7 when scoring exactly 27 points (fun fact: four of Michigan's 14 overtime wins have been with a score of 27 points. And yes, one of the losses, you know which one.)
• Michigan moves to 24-20-1 all-time when allowing 20 points to the opposition.
• Michigan has won 52 games all-time by precisely 7 points, most recently, the 2023 Maryland game, bka Win 1000.
• Michigan moves to 14-3 in overtime games, with this being their second overtime win over Alabama, the first being the 2000 Orange Bowl (also Michigan's first-ever OT game), 35-34, which you may remember, hinged on a missed extra point by the Crimson Tide in OT.  

It's Only Rock 'n Roll

Apparently, we can have nice things! (Patrick Barron)

If I could stick my pen in my heart

And spill it all over the stage

Would it satisfy you? Would it slide on by you?

Would you think the boy is strange?

Ain't he strange?

There was a long-time criticism of the movies of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, especially in the first two phases, that while Marvel has excellent heroes, there was a tendency to make the villain just a dark mirror of the hero.  Iron Man faces Iron Monger, Hulk faced Abomination, Captain America faced Red Skull, Ant-Man faced Yellow Jacket, and Doctor Strange faced Kaecilius.  In each case, the complaint was that it made the framework of the conflict sort of boring and predictable.  

In other news, it is worth noting that Michigan decided that the best way to beat Iowa and its nation's best defense was to basically become Iowa with a better offense.  How did Michigan win this game?  Lockdown defense (which, admittedly, was made easier by Iowa's offensive inability), timely special teams play (the Semaj Morgan punt return to give Michigan a short field on which they cashed in, James Turner being perfect on field goals.), and forcing turnovers (if you would like to believe that the Big Ten officials might have a bias against Michigan, the replay review where Josh Wallace's timely remembrance to pick up the ball and hand it to the official gave Michigan another short field), Michigan essentially became MegaIowa and the result was a 26-0 victory to end the Big Ten East/Big Ten West era of Big Ten championship games 10-0 in favor of the East.

If I could win you, if I could sing you

A love song so divine

Would it be enough for your cheatin' heart

If I broke down and cried?

If I cried

Michigan fans have long seen Pasadena as the just reward for a great season.  You win the Big Ten, you go to the Rose Bowl.  While the results of that game have not always been great, there have been great moments in the shadow of the San Gabriels.  While it would have been nice to have a Pac-12 opponent to face in the last "real Rose Bowl," a battle of the two winningest programs in college football history is a nice framework to look at as we head into the New Year.  Michigan has learned, hopefully, the lessons of the last two years, and know that Alabama, and specifically, Nick Saban, with time to prepare, is a nightmare.  But Michigan wants to win a national championship; they have a path they need to walk to get there.  We'll see if they can do it, but for now, at least they have the opportunity, which is more than other people can say.

I said, I know it's only rock 'n' roll, but I like it

I said, I know it's only rock 'n' roll, but I like it, like it, yes, I do

College Football is a deeply screwed-up sport, in ways that I do not need to catalog for you, the reader.  We have to accept that if we like, love, and appreciate this sport, there will be things that make no sense.  From the playoff selections this Sunday to NCAA investigations into petty infractions while looking the other way for years on other systemic wrongdoing.  All of these things are just part of what makes this sport what it is.  But for now, Michigan has a chance to win the Rose Bowl, something they have not had an opportunity to do since New Year's Day 2007.  California dreamin' indeed.

Tales from the Spreadsheet

• Win 1,002
• 26-0 is NOT a Scorigami (12th time, most recently 11/15/1980 while hosting Purdue)
• 67,842 was the attendance (largest of Michigan's three Big Ten Championship game appearances.)
  
  
• Michigan moves to 45-15-4 all-time against the University of Iowa.
• Michigan has won four straight over Iowa.
• Michigan moves to 1-0 all-time on December 2.
  
  
• Michigan moves to 28-1 when scoring exactly 26 points (the loss is 27-26 to 1994 Colorado.  You may remember the ending of that game).
• Michigan moves to 338-0-12 all-time when allowing 0 points to the opposition.  It is Michigan's second shutout of the season, and Michigan's eighth game holding its opponent to single digits.
• Michigan has won 22 games all-time by precisely 26 points, most recently the 2021 Northwestern Game. 

She's a Rainbow

The sweetest buffs of the year.  (Bryan Fuller)

Have you seen her dressed in blue?

See the sky in front of you

And her face is like a sail

Speck of white, so fair and pale

Have you seen a lady fairer?

On a week where Jim Harbaugh referenced Ted Lasso, and the MMB made a "Believe" sign during halftime, it is perhaps fitting that today's column takes its name from one of the finest needle drops in the series.

When not thinking about the holiday this week, most of my spare time was fluctuating between dread and complete dread about this game.  Everything on paper said that these were two evenly matched teams, except one was without its head coach due to a suspension.  Would that be too much?  Would Michigan, being at home and united under the "Michigan vs. Everybody" mantra, find a way to do it?  It was a different feeling than what I had felt going into The Game for much of the last decade.  Most of the time was hoping Michigan could find a way to pull it off, only to have that hope dashed either quickly, or crushingly, or sometimes both.  2021 allowed Michigan fans to dream again, and 2022 allowed Michigan fans to feel something wholly different, something ancient awoken in our souls; the dream of the 90s was alive in Ann Arbor.

But 2023 has been a ride.  A completely stupid ride.  One that I regret spending so much mental energy on, as elucidated by BryMac in Punt/Counterpunt this week.  But it was perhaps inevitable when you spend so much time thinking about Michigan football.  These were the narratives, the things that had to be mulled over, and there they were.  Narratives aren't reality; we try to predict the story based on what has happened before; it's one of the most basic reading comprehension skills we teach children.  But we cannot predict the future; we are not clairvoyant, and our tendency to catastrophize as a means of guarding ourselves against the disappointment to come later.  But we cannot lose sight of hope.

She comes in colours everywhere

She combs her hair

She's like a rainbow

Coming colours in the air

Oh, everywhere

She comes in colours

See, hope comes in colors.  Sometimes it's the mono-blue uniforms that Michigan has made a new tradition at home against Ohio State.  Sometimes it's the steel gray sky of the late fall in the Midwest.  Sometimes it's the polarized brown of the buffs after not one, but two critical interceptions, one to get things rolling, and one to close the door.  But hope will sit with you as Michigan bleeds clock in the fourth quarter until Ryan Day starts calling some time-outs.  You start to think about how one more first down will win this game.  You hope that kicking the field goal to go up six is the right call.  You wonder if hope is leaving early to beat traffic when Kyle McCord keeps completing passes.  But then, Michigan got just enough pressure on McCord to force him into a bad throw, and Rod Moore got both hands under it, and you realize that yes, hope has left the building, not because she abandoned you, but because hope has become reality once more.   

Have you seen her all in gold?

Like a queen in days of old

She shoots colours all around

Like a sunset going down

Have you seen a lady fairer?

Michigan still has some work to do.  Another matchup with a 10-2 Iowa squad in Indy.  Win that, and Michigan heads back to Pasadena for the first time since New Year's Day 2007 in what is, in some ways, the last real Rose Bowl.  Maybe it's Michigan/Washington for a fitting farewell, but there is still too much daylight between now and selection Sunday to make any predictions.  But as I think about the future, I am reminded of the past.

Ten years ago, a flawed Michigan team went blow for blow with #3 Ohio State in the Big House.  Trailing by 7, Michigan drove 84 yards in 100 seconds to score a touchdown to make it 42-41.  Hoke asked the players if they wanted to go for the win.  They said they did; they came out with a two-point conversion play.  Ohio State called time out.  Michigan came back out with the same play, and Ohio State knocked it down to survive Michigan's upset bid.  I wondered at that time who Michigan football was for, and what Michigan football was for.  Ten years later, I came to the same conclusion, it is for them.  These players wanted all of this, and this time, they got it.  Three in a row against Ohio State.  What a time, what a team.  Onward to Indy.

She's like a rainbow

Coming colours in the air

Oh, everywhere

She comes in colours

--"She's a Rainbow" by the Rolling Stones from their 1967 album Their Satanic Majesties Request

Tales from the Spreadsheet

• Win 1,001
• 30-24 IS a Scorigami (I know, I'm just as surprised as you are.) (Five of Michigan's 12 games thus far this season have been Scorigamis.)
• 110,615 was the attendance (the smallest home crowd to watch Michigan play a football game against Ohio State since the 1997 game.)
  
  
• Michigan moves to 61-52-6 all-time against the Ohio State University.
• Michigan has won three straight over Ohio State.  Three straight for the first time since 1995-1997.
• Michigan moves to 11-6-1 all-time on November 25, 6-5 vs Ohio State on this date.  It marks Michigan's first win on this date since 1995, which allows me to yell BIAKA for a good reason.
  
  
• Michigan moves to 9-1 when scoring exactly 30 points (the loss is 31-30 to 1988 Miami).
• Michigan moves to 17-18 all-time when allowing 24 points to the opposition.
• Michigan has won 30 games all-time by precisely 6 points, most recently the 2020 Rutgers 3 OT game.  (Fun Fact: Michigan also beat Ohio State by a six-point margin in 1997 to finish an undefeated regular season.)