Three Pistols

Marlin Klein hurdled a fool. (Michigan Athletics)

Well, Tom Thomson came paddling past

I'm pretty sure it was him

And he spoke so softly in accordance to the

Growing of the dim

He said, "I'll bring on a brand new renaissance

Because I think I'm ready

When I was shaking all night long

But my hands were steady"

--"Three Pistols" by The Tragically Hip from their 1991 album Road Apples

There isn't going to be much to this one today, because there really wasn't much to this game.  The game before The Game is always weird, because it is almost inevitably a trap game.  In 2021, 2023, and now 2025, Michigan went to College Park and took care of business, heading into the Ohio State game with the goal of an appearance in the Big Ten title game still on the table.  The most prominent theme of the game was that injuries tested the depth of the running back room (but 100 yards on 20 carries for Bryson Kuzdzal works, as does 71 yards on 8 carries from Tomas O'Meara in the fourth quarter), but really, there was not a lot of meat on this bone.  Maryland scored on its opening drive, only to give Michigan excellent field position after a failed surprise onside kick. The easiest way to explain it is that Hudson Hollenbeck was never called upon to punt in this one, and every drive entered Maryland territory.

The biggest concerns from the day were that Max Bredeson was seen on the sideline in crutches, which is troubling, and several key players were out (but were likely held out ahead of The Game).  Michigan handled its business, surpassed last year's win total, and likely clinched a spot in the Citrus Bowl (because the Pac-12's bowl tie-ins are still active for a bit longer). Winning The Game certainly seems like it would be improbable, but then again, we said that last year, and in years before that, and Michigan found a way to Beat Ohio.  Do it again one more time, and let the chips fall where they may. Bring on the brand new renaissance because I think I'm ready.

Beat Ohio.

Tales from the Spreadsheet

• 45-20 IS NOT a Scorigami!  It would have been if Michigan had scored a TD on the last drive.
  
• 46,185 were in attendance for the game (the second smallest crowd of the season and the first time Michigan has played in front of back-to-back announced crowds of less than 60,000 since at Purdue and at Minnesota in 2008).
• Win 1,021.
  
  
• Michigan moves to 12-1-0 all-time against the University of Maryland-College Park.  This is Michigan's ninth straight win in the series against the Terrapins.
• Michigan improves to 10-8-0 all-time on November 22 (this was Michigan's first game on November 22 since 2014, and it was Michigan's only loss to Maryland in the series all-time).  Highlights of 11/22 include 1969 Ohio State, 1997 Ohio State, and 2003 Ohio State.
  
  
• Michigan improves to 24-1-0 when scoring exactly 45 points (the loss is the 2022 Fiesta Bowl).
• Michigan moves to 26-21-1 all-time when allowing 20 points to the opposition.
• Michigan has won 20 games all-time by precisely 25 points, the most recent example being the 2023 Bowling Green game, bka the JJ throws three picks but Michigan still wins game.

Faster

And we felt silly for even being slightly worried. (Julio Cortez, AP)

I'd like to cop to something.  I was slightly worried about this week's game.  Road game being what it is this year, coming off a big win, you never know.

That worry evaporated after approximately 15 seconds when Giles Jackson ran back the opening kickoff for a majestic Skycam tracked touchdown.  While it would be annoying on occasion on offense, the defense once more did their thing (the only points coming on a 97-yard Maryland kickoff return in the second half) and Michigan won 38-7 that was described variously as "pedestrian" or "much closer than the score indicated." 

Michigan beat a Maryland team before a homecoming crowd just a shade above 40,000 people, most of whom looked and sounded to be Michigan fans.  A Michigan team that was looking like they were about to white flag the season at halftime in Happy Valley has been, in fact, turning in what Jim Harbaugh described as "our finest hour" over the past ten quarters.  Yes, it is too late for any of Michigan's pre-season goals, and that is frustrating, but there's something satisfying in seeing this Michigan team come together and play as we suspected they might be able to from the first hiring of Josh Gattis.

In the end, it's a road win, a conference win, and it takes Michigan into the second "improvement week" of the season on a solid note.  So much like this game, this column did just what it needed to do before moving on.  Enjoy the off week!

Raining in Baltimore

Good things happen when you can actually start a game, Mr. Hudson. (Paul Sancya/AP)

"And I get no answers
And I don't get no change
It's raining in Baltimore, baby
But everything else is the same."
--"Raining in Baltimore", Counting Crows, August and Everything After, 1993


Another game, another slow start. Another game, another strong finish.  The major differences today were that the Big Ten seemed to have maybe looked at a copy of the chart that said Michigan wasn't having any holding calls on its defense, and that Shea Patterson's outstanding characteristic is his elusiveness, not his speed.  There's a major difference there.  Patterson isn't Denard Robinson, he's not a run-first quarterback, but if he can elude and evade oncoming defenders, extend plays and while his decision making isn't always perfect (I'm trying to decide how much the interception was his fault since it did hit the receiver's hands and pop into the air.  Simultaneously, his TD pass to Ronnie Bell was probably not a great decision until it was.  The margins on some of these things are very thin.)  Whereas Michigan's defense showed its fangs in the second half last week, it faltered slightly, giving up fourth quarter drives of 75 and 78 yards, but perhaps the injuries being suffered in the D-Line both before during the game were finally shone through and caused some consternation.  But it was the 9 play, 81-yard drive and the 46-yard pick six between them that made this a cover of a 17.5 point spread and not a nailbiter that it could have been.

Karan Higdon ran for over a hundred yards again today, the fourth straight game where a Michigan player ran for over 100 yards, the first time that has happened since 2010.  There are those who bemoan Michigan's slow, deliberate offensive style, but it felt, to me, today that Michigan does blend a deliberate style with some big-play ability (some of which was called back, like the 40-yard strike to DPJ early in the third called back on a specious holding call on Tru Wilson) that I think might be frustrating to others.  The defense is so solid, so strong, that people desire an offense to match it.  I understand that feeling, but I also feel, I don't know, the offense is fine.  Perhaps it needs a better, faster, start would help people feel like the offense is something that can click on all cylinders, but again, we're asking for evidence of things unseen.

For a game delayed by rain for an hour, the end result was what the stats, the sharps, and the analysts had been telling us the whole week.  Now comes the stretch, the defining stretch, the one that has been looming since the schedule makers first presented it to us all those years ago.  Home to the Badgers, then a road test against the Spartans and then Penn State at home coming off a bye.  BPONE tells you that Michigan comes out of this with at least one loss, maybe two, but maybe, just maybe, Michigan has it figured out, gets healthy enough, and makes some noise.  It certainly would be nice to ponder.  But for now under the lights against the Badgers next week should be some real data on what this Michigan team actually is.  We'll finally get some answers, the question is, will we like them?

One additional note: Given our outrage over the Shane Morris incident, I have some minor concerns about how quickly Donovan Peoples-Jones was back out there after his mouthguard went flying on the targeting hit.  I presume that the concussion protocol was followed, but I would like to know what the minimum essential time it takes to run the concussion protocol is so I am not feeling like we're playing fast and loose with it to get our players back out there.

Raised by Wolves

By leaps and bounds (Brad Mills | USA TODAY Sports)

I have been sick for roughly the last ten days.  Nothing serious, just the low-grade crud you get when you work around 1800+ people who are not always overly concerned about hand washing protocols.  But yesterday, at approximately 1:00 pm, I had to go to bed because I had such a nasty set of chills, I needed a pair of blankets to make me feel even remotely warm.  I was, therefore, kind of hoping that Michigan would just jump out to an early lead and cruise to victory and maybe I could get a nice little nap in.

Maryland was in a generous mood, gifting Michigan field position like a kid playing Madden who says "Yeah, I never punt." without realizing that's a really solid way to lose winnable games.  In the space of four minutes, Michigan scored 21 points, oddly each one at X:21, and put the game into cruise control.  No reason to put anything new on tape for Wisconsin or OSU.

Maryland had plenty of opportunities in this game; certainly, Glen Mason would like you to believe that Maryland was a play or two away from an upset in a game that they lost by 25.  But while Maryland was putting together drives, they were also kicking field goals from the 25 (on 4th and 2) and the 2 (on goal to go) and were not really deeply invested in trying to win the game with their fifth different starting QB of the year.  I don't know if I can blame them

Yes, Maryland did cut Michigan's lead to 28-10.  Yes, Michigan twitter proceeded to have a panic attack.  Yes, Chris Evans caught wind of said panic attack and said: "I got this" and with plays of 20, 14, and 17, put Michigan back up by 25 and once more on cruise control, if too late for a nap.  This game served merely to reaffirm that Michigan has the talent and coaching to beat teams of lesser talent, but it did nothing to answer the questions of whether it can go toe to toe with Wisconsin or Ohio State in the final two weeks.  But, Michigan sits at 8 wins for the season, with at least a puncher's chance in its next two games.  I find myself more intrigued than anything else about what can happen going forward from here, which is a lot more than I can say for the last few seasons of the Hoke era (enjoy your new interim coach Tennessee!).  Mostly, right now, I just want this sinus headache to go away and the body aches to cease.  I'll take that in a heartbeat.

The Drevnometer discovers Replaceable Parts

When the offense dominates in the first half and goes to sleep in the second half, they get the benefit of the doubt. When they sleep through the first half and wake up in the second half, not so much. So the Drevnometer falls back to a 4 this week. We're back to the pyramids, but maybe we'll find Neferiti's grave.

The chart has a new picture this week, courtesy of Patrick Barron at Mgoblog! It also has icons along the x-axis now, which is surprisingly hard to do.

The Drevnometer's Three Stars of the Game

Previous Three Stars

BYU: ★★★ De'Veon Smith ★★ Amara Darboh ★ Jake Rudock
UNLV: ★★★ Ty Isaac ★★ Jehu Chesson ★ Sione Houma
Oregon State: ★★★ De'Veon Smith ★★ Erik Magnuson ★ A.J. Williams
Utah: ★★★ Jake Butt ★★ Amara Darboh ★ Graham Glasgow

Maryland to the Big Ten? Hey, I live in Maryland!

Upon hearing that the Big Ten was in negotiations to add Rutgers and Maryland, my first thought was "Why?" My second thought was "I live in Maryland! I can provide some perspective on this proposed conference expansion!" Upon further thought, the reason for adding Rutgers is obvious: Jim Delaney wants to determine whether or not Brady Hoke and Chris Christie are the same person.^*

As for Maryland, that's a more difficult nut to crack. The best way to be sure that adding Maryland to the Big Ten is a bad idea is that Under Armour founder and Maryland über-booster Kevin Plank is for it. Since Under Armour started trying to turn Maryland into its east coast version of Nike's Oregon, the only great moment Maryland football has experienced is this:

The heraldic term for the red and white Crosslands sigil is a "bottery."

They won that game, but summoned Angry Maryland Quarterback Hating God in the process. It hasn't been pretty. Even Maryland alumni I know are showing no interest in Maryland football these days. Last year, Maryland needed a LivingSocial deal to fill out the upper deck when they played Notre Dame at FedEx Field. Groupons and LivingSocial for big games are not the signs of a healthy program - in contrast, sometimes Georgetown basketball has LivingSocial deals, but they use the deals for filling out the stands against weak non-conference opponents.

Maryland is primarily an NFL state. The northeast simply does not have the pride in its state university athletic teams that the rest of the country does. (Michigan State will never be able to accuse anyone of being a "Target Terrapin.") On Sundays, grocery stores and casual restaurants allow their employees to dress in NFL jerseys. No such policy exists on Saturdays. The boundary between Pittsburgh and Baltimore fans can be carefully traced through Frederick County. The main difference between Ravens fans and Redskins fans is demographic: the younger generation is more likely to be Ravens fans as they've experienced little from Dan Snyder's team but poor play and continually dashed expectations.

The boundary between Steelers and Ravens country is less convoluted than the
boundaries of most Maryland congressional districts.

In terms of college football support, Washington and its surrounding area is a pastiche. The leading teams are Maryland, Virginia Tech, West Virginia, and Penn State, but the nature of Washington (like New York) is that there's an alumni base from almost every major university. This means that each current Big Ten school has a significant alumni base in the area. Of course, so does every SEC school, ACC school, Big East school, and Big XII school. The prize Maryland offers is getting the Big Ten Network on DC basic cable and the gamble is that the built-in Big Ten alumni bases will put enough pressure on the cable providers to make it happen.

The downside is that the Big Ten has to put up with Maryland's dysfunctional athletic department. An athletic department that would willingly hire Randy Edsall has issues. Maryland is not an exciting football opponent and not, for the moment, an exciting basketball opponent. They'll definitely be useful in establishing a B1G lacrosse conference, but right now the only revenue they offer is the possibility of basic cable revenue.

You may think the silver lining is having a road game every 2-3 years in the DC metro area. While visiting DC is definitely a good idea, visiting College Park, not so much. Despite the WMATA's optimistically naming a Green Line station "College Park - U of MD," the station is two miles from the university, so it's not convenient to stay in a more exciting part of DC and then take public transportation to the game, especially if you're a visitor. This situation should be resolved around 2030 or so or whenever Montgomery County and Prince George's County get the Purple Line built.

You may now be thinking, "Maybe I don't need to see the rest of DC. College Park has got to be cool, right? It's a college town!" You'd be thinking wrong, pardner. You'd figure that the permanent residents of a city called College Park wouldn't have too many problems with students living there. Silly you for thinking that! Someone I very much dislike once said that College Park was the worst college town he'd ever seen, and I really couldn't disagree with him. For Pete Stormare's sake, College Park has an IKEA! Do you know where IKEA builds stores? In the middle of nowhere, that's where! It's an OK place to drink and party like a college student, but why leave your own college town to do that?

Academically, Maryland is somewhat underrated in the public's eye (Rutgers too). Their undergraduate and graduate programs are quite solid, and they wouldn't hurt the Big Ten's academic reputation/sense of superiority the way adding, say, Louisville would. Not as good a get in science and engineering as Georgia Tech would be, but probably just as good as an all-around choice.

All in all, Mehryland gets a solid Meh. If they help the Big Ten get the TV money, then everyone's a winner; if they don't, everyone breaks even. From a pure sporting perspective, the two schools to grab while keeping the "footprint" intact are Kansas & Oklahoma. But they don't bring the markets or the academic prestige. Besides, Oklahoma's best long-term position is to be the villain on Longhorn Network programming. Eventually all this super-conference stuff will shake out and the B1G will have sixteen teams and we'll say we've always counted in hexadecimal. As long as the Big ten can claim "Tradition!" it'll be all right.

^*They are. That's why Brady Hoke is always wearing clothes that say "Michigan" and why Chris Christie's clothes have "Governor" embroidered on them. It's to help Hoke/Christie remember the role he's currently playing.