Fifty Mission Cap

Bryce understands the assignment (Rachel Leggett)

My fifty-mission cap

I worked it in

I worked it in to look like that

It's my fifty-mission cap

(It's his fifty-mission cap)

And I worked it in

I worked it in

And I worked it in to look like that

And I worked it in to look like that

--"Fifty Mission Cap" by The Tragically Hip, the second single from the band's 1993 album Fully Completely

"Fifty Mission Cap" is primarily the relaying of a story about Bill Barilko's 1951 Stanley Cup-winning goal and his subsequent disappearance after a plane crash in a remote part of northern Ontario.  But, as this excellent blog post explains, it's actually about appearances, and about seeming to be something rather than actually being.  Which brings us to last night's game.

It has become clearer to me that there are two types of rivalries in college football: The ones where you want your team to beat the opponent and revel in it when it happens, and the ones where you are merely relieved that your team did not lose to the opponent, and even that relief is often cold comfort.

Michigan presents a stark vision of this.  Ohio State has been so good for so long, the stakes frequently so high when the teams meet, that victory seems like the only acceptable outcome, but a loss, while frustrating, is understandable.  Certainly, the last four years have helped reestablish this rivalry's essence, which had gone cold for nigh on a decade.  But the Michigan State rivalry is the lowest-floor, lowest-ceiling rivalry.  Yes, Michigan players love parading Paul around in his maize pants and custom-made hat, and now the Buffs, after a win, are bowl-eligible before October is over. Still, for fans, it was either "win the game you were supposed to as a two-touchdown favorite" or "hear about this crap for a year, and probably longer." Why am I so sure of that?  Because that is how the history of this rivalry works.  I am mostly just grateful that there was no weird kerfuffle or dustup after the game, that the strangest part of the endgame was Bryce doing selfies with fans or passing out Hot Hands, which is like a 0.25 out of 10 on the outrage scale.

As for the game itself, it went from cruise control in the first quarter, to squeaky bum time in the second, to asserting control in the third, to being grateful for Michigan State's decision-making in the fourth (and 12 penalties for 105 yards).  Jimmy Rolder had a game so solid, I'm willing to dub it "The Jimmy Rolder Game." 10 solo tackles, one sack, three tackles for loss, and a recovered fumble, plus an absolute cruise missile of a TFL on a fourth down when the Spartans tried to tempo Michigan subbing, and he shot the gap and pretty much ended Michigan State's last gasp.

In the end, Michigan had its highest rushing output against Michigan State since the 1994 meeting, with Haynes going for 152 and a pair of touchdowns, complemented by Marshall's 110 and a TD, which is a reminder of Tyrone Wheatley's 153 and two TDs and Tshimanga Biakabatuka's 141 and a touchdown in the 1994 game mentioned above.  Michigan won a game on the road where Bryce Underwood passed for fewer yards than Davis Warren did in last year's edition of this game!  Michigan won, Paul stays in Ann Arbor, and everyone can move on with their lives.  Hail.

Tales from the Spreadsheet

• 31-20 IS NOT a Scorigami!  (Two previous occurrences, 1969 Purdue and 2018 Indiana (the snow angels game.)) (In case you were wondering, 31-13 is also NOT a Scorigami)
  
• 75,085 were in attendance for the game.
• Win 1,018.
  
  
• Michigan moves to 75-38-3 all-time against Michigan State University (including games when they were still State Agricultural College, Michigan Agricultural College, Michigan State College of Agriculture and Applied Science, Michigan State University of Agriculture and Applied Science, and finally Michigan State University), including four straight wins in the series for the first time since the 2002-2007 run of six straight wins.
• Michigan moves to 17-4-0 all-time on October 25, the feast of St. Crispin. (Like last week, it is Michigan's first win on this date since 2003!  Michigan evens its record against Michigan State to 2-2 on St. Crispin's Day —(we few, we happy few).
  
  
• Michigan improves to 46-4-0 when scoring exactly 31 points.
• Michigan moves to 25-21-1 all-time when allowing 20 points to the opposition.
• Michigan has won 22 games all-time by precisely 11 points, the most recent example being the aforementioned Snow Angels game against Indiana in 2018.

Go Let It Out

Paul stays in Ann Arbor. (Michigan Athletics)

Paint no illusion, try to click with what you got

Taste every potion 'cause if you like yourself a lot

Go let it out, go let it in, and go let it out

 --"Go Let It Out" by Oasis from the 2000 album Standing on the Shoulders of Giants

For the first time in almost twenty years of blogging about Michigan football, I took last week off from writing a game column.  Partially, I was at a wedding and had to watch the situation from an app in a barn in the Irish Hills, and partially, well, did we really need to talk about last week's game?  Everything that had been a problem remained a problem.

But how do you skip talking about the Michigan State game?  Coming in, I told several people who asked me what I thought was going to happen this weekend that for the first time since I first remember having a strong opinion about Michigan/Michigan State, (the infamous 1990 game where Michigan came in as #1 and lost on the failed two-point conversion when Eddie Brown tripped Desmond in the end zone, and it was not called.) I genuinely had no idea what was going to happen, and that any result would not surprise me.  (I still predicted Michigan 27, MSU 14, because I've been doing the Friday Five for over two decades.)  But you could be forgiven for thinking Michigan's recent tumble down a seemingly unending staircase would continue based on the first 25 minutes of the game.  But running a hurry-up offense, Michigan got together a drive in just under three minutes, capped by a Davis Warren TD pass to Colston Loveland that looked like things would tie things up until a bad snap led to a nightmare two-point conversion attempt, and Michigan was down 7-6.  However, Josiah Stewart strip-sacked Aidan Chiles, and Kenneth Grant got his turn with the buffs after just covering this fumble, which set up a short field and a quick Michigan field goal, and the maize and blue were ahead 9-7 at the half, wholly unexpectedly based on what had been shown for much of the first half.

So when Michigan came out of the locker room for the second half with their "July drive" and went 75 yards in a shade over five minutes, things looked much better.  Michigan State would counter with a field goal to bring it back to a one-possession game, but after a three and out for each side, Michigan took advantage of good field position and used arguably their most effective passer, Donovan Edwards, to find Colston Loveland in the end zone (as well as completing the octopus with Davis Warren finding him for the two-point conversion to make the missed extra point moot, which, let's face it, you know was in the back of the mind of most Michigan fans that it was going to be the downfall of this game.)

So here's where it gets interesting.  Michigan State is down two scores and probably needs to move with purpose with 13:20 left in the fourth.  Instead, they went on a thirteen-play, 75-yard drive that took over seven minutes, but one that did end in a touchdown to bring them within seven.  Now Michigan needed to burn clock and...went full Lloydball with a three-and-out that burned just 98 seconds before a middling punt that set MSU up at their own 49.  While an intentional grounding helped push Michigan State back to their own 35, the defense looked like it was going to give it all away, especially after a 30-yard gain on third down to put the Spartans on the edge of the red zone.  While a false start followed a short run to push MSU back outside the red zone, Michigan State faced 4th and 5 from the Michigan 16 and got the two-minute time-out to think it over.  Michigan's pressure forced Chiles into a bad throw that was almost picked off in the end zone, but now a new concern.  Michigan got the ball back with 1:52 left to play, and the Spartans had all three timeouts, so Michigan needs at least one first down to avoid having to punt the ball back to Michigan State (we all remember how that can go).  But Alex Orji scrambled for a first down, which, ironically, meant Michigan needed another first down, and after two short Mullings runs, 3rd and five loomed with MSU with one timeout left.  But once more, Alex Orji went for eight yards on a designed run, including a gorgeous baseball slide to end it, some kneel downs to end it, some extracurriculars (because, of course), but for just the sixth time since Michigan State joined the Big Ten, an unranked Michigan team won the Battle for Paul Bunyan (as opposed to eight losses, Michigan's been ranked for a lot of these.)  Sherrone Moore becomes the first Michigan coach to beat MSU in his first season.  

Michigan may not have saved their season, but they certainly didn't make it feel any worse than it does at the moment and likely keep the dream of bowl eligibility alive (not that it will be easy, given the Oregon, Indiana, and Ohio State games left on the slate.)  But my goodness, if left with the choice of beating Michigan State in a lost season or losing to Michigan State, we know that this win is a good thing.  Yes, the toxicity of this rivalry needs to come down, and there needs to be a path forward where these things don't devolve into fights or worse, seemingly every year.  But it is also much nicer to build on a win.  There are some clear things that have improved, while others have slid back a little bit, and it may be difficult to see the improvement next week when #1 Oregon comes in, but for now, Paul stays in Ann Arbor for another year, and that's enough for today.

Tales from the Spreadsheet

• Win 1,009
• 24-17 is NOT a Scorigami (3rd time, most recently 11/20/1999 against Ohio State.)
• 110,828 were in attendance (the 79th-largest crowd in Michigan Stadium history).
  
  
• Michigan moves to 74-38-5 all-time against Michigan State University.  Michigan retains the Paul Bunyan Trophy for another year (and moves to 41-29-2 in the trophy series).
• Michigan moves to 11-5 all-time on October 26 (the previous October 26 game was the most recent game with Notre Dame in the rain in 2019.) 
  
  
• Michigan moves to 38-8 when scoring exactly 24 points.
• Michigan moves to 37-16-2 all-time when allowing 17 points to the opposition.
• Michigan has won 53 games all-time by precisely 7 points, most recently, well, a Rose Bowl of some acclaim in January 2024.

Blinded (When I See You)

Donovan played the hits, and the people were happy.  (Photo by Patrick Barron)

Let's be clear.  When Michigan State went up 7-0 in the first quarter, all of the old narratives were settling in.  Michigan was taking bad penalties to extend Spartan drives, Michigan was not covering short and intermediate routes and Brian Lewerke looked like he had one more game in him to screw things up for Michigan.

But Michigan answered on the next drive, even if it took to just past the quarter break.  Michigan State extended the drive with a personal foul, and getting back to even at 7-7 was a solid reset.

So when Aidan Hutchinson got an unsportsmanlike penalty, the teeter was tottered by Michigan State earning a pair of unsportsmanlike penalties (on the same play!) turning a twenty yard gain into a ten-yard loss on the play, and eventually leading to a Michigan State punt that would be downed at the two-yard line.

3 yards, incomplete, 8 yards, 3 yards, 15 yards, 14 yards, 6 yards, 5 yards, incomplete but DPI so 15 yards, -3 yards, 5 yards-touchdown.  98 yards in 12 plays with just one (non-penalty) incompletion and one negative play.  That drive was a Michigan team playing within itself, spreading the ball around (Haskins, DPJ, Charbonnet, Patterson keeper, Bell, Bell again, Charbonnet, Sanistril, Nico targeted, Haskins, and then Eubanks, eight different Michigan players moved the ball on the drive.)

So you could be forgiven, going into the half with Michigan up 17-7 for thinking "We're letting them hang around.  No good can come of this."  They could be forgiven for worrying, up 27-10 as Michigan State lined up for a critical fourth and 1 at their own 45 that this thing was not over yet.

And then one of the most remarkable three-play sequences in the history of this rivalry left no doubt.  First, Michigan's defense drew a false start, allegedly using the "MOVE" play that Don Brown is so fond of using.  Then, Michigan State, deciding that they need to punt on the 4th and 6, fell prey to Khaleke Hudson's sixth career punt block/deflection, giving Michigan the ball on the MSU 22.  One snap later, Shea found Nico Collins on the goal line and the entire stadium could sense the rout was on.

But all of this pales in comparison to the fiesta of penalties.  This from the same crew that called OSU 2016.  Here now, a list, in order:

• False Start - Michigan
• DPI - Michigan [cough]
• Offsides - Michigan
• Personal Foul - Michigan State
• Unsportsmanlike Conduct - Michigan
• Unsportsmanlike Conduct - Michigan State
• Unsportsmanlike Conduct - Michigan State (on the same play!)
• DPI - Michigan State #chuckittoNico
• Roughing the Passer - Michigan (on the same play as a defensive holding, Michigan and a DPI, Michigan.)
• 12 Men in the Defensive Formation - Michigan
• Unsportsmanlike Conduct - Michigan (flexing is now a crime)
• Intentional Grounding - Michigan (because Shea was the second player to pass the ball)
• False Start - Michigan State
• Unsportsmanlike Conduct - Michigan State (a flagrant!)
• Sideline Interference - Michigan
• Unsportsmanlike Conduct - Michigan State (by the brother of the flagrant!)
• Personal Foul - Michigan State

(This doesn't even count Giles Jackson nearly costing Michigan 30 yards on a kickoff that went out of bounds because he almost touched it before it went out.)

The Battle for Bunyan is always a chippy affair, so it's understandable that Michigan was happy to see it over and done with a comfortable win.  It may be the last stand of Mark Dantonio as Michigan State's coach, that remains to be seen.  But Michigan's won three of the last four in the series.  It's not quite back to "just like old times" but Paul's staying home and has fancy new pants.  We'll take it.

Threatdown

Keith Stone FTW.

And now, the pieced together transcript of the conversation that occurred in my head between the rational side of my brain (to protect his identity, we'll call him Spock in the transcript) and the passionate, action oriented side of my brain (to protect his identity, we'll call him Kirk in the transcript)

Spock: Well, Michigan was quite fortunate to have won that game.

Kirk: Woooo!  Don't care!  Wooooo!  Woooo!  Woooo!

Spock: Four field goals is hardly the offensive output necessary over the long term to win the Big Ten Championship.

Kirk: Don't care!  Don't care!  Woooooo!  Woooo!  What the Dileo?!?  Wooo!

Spock: And to garner those four field goals in a home game against a team that is coming off a home loss to Iowa, (editor's note: an Iowa team that would get its doors blown off at home by Penn State later in the evening) it is worrisome to say the least, no?

Kirk: Don't care!  Don't care!

Spock: You aren't troubled by the dropped balls by the receivers?  By the missed opportunities?  By the nine tackles for loss Michigan State had?  None of this bothers you.

Kirk: Nope, Don't care!  12 > 10.  Mathman, Mathman. 12 is greater than 10.

Spock:  But it's not like you can even brag about this.  Michigan won a game it had no business winning.  You know it, Michigan State fans know it, the entire country knows it?  How can you be taking such great pleasure from this?

Kirk: [straightens up, adjusts imaginary tie in universal symbol of pulling one's act together.]  Because I don't have to say anything.  I don't need to brag.  I don't need to say anything.  I'd rather focus on it being Michigan's 900th all-time victory than over whom they beat, simply because I know for the next year, I don't have to put up with anything.  No taunts, no "Little Sister" attempts at spin, no "Curse of Mike Hart" malarkey, no "Pride goes before the fall", none of that.  Because it's over.  Order has been restored to the college football universe, at least on a Michigan level.

Spock: Fascinating.  But let me ask you this...how mad are you at David Brandon right now?  Right now Michigan is viewed as a disappointing 5-2, whereas in a normal year, Michigan would likely be sitting at 6-1 having played a lower level team or a MAC school instead of Alabama to open the season?

Kirk: Thanks a lot Commander Buzzkill.  Nope, don't care.  900 wins.

Captain's courageous.  (Alternately, only one of these teams is wearing a ridiculous looking helmet.)

Bulletlike substance:

• I had this thesis that Michigan's offensive game plan in the first half was to setup tendencies for Michigan State which is to say I thought Borges just told Denard we'll give you some early run, if you get yards great, if you can't don't worry because it'll be there in a second half, we'll just give the ball to Fitz or to Gallon on a sweep and that should open up space for you.  Maybe it didn't work out but it's interesting to see how it happened.  I'll be very interested to see the UFR if I am right on that.
• I also think that I could be completely wrong about this I need to see the UFR but I think Michigan State had a scripted 15 play drive practiced like crazy all week and they said for the second half, tight game, knowing all of the looks Michigan was giving them that I think the touchdown drive became about execution execution execution and that was because they practiced all week and they came out a locker room and knew they could run that second run well that's exactly what they did.  I've also seen rumors that Dantonio himself called that drive, which raises more questions than not if it's true.
• Brendan Gibbons is as great a story you could want, from the guy couldn't make a single chicks to someone who will go down in Michigan history as having made two of the  biggest kicks in Michigan football history.  (Also, I knew we were all set, he was wearing Phil Brabbs' #34 and kicking toward the north end zone.  That's as good as it gets.)  Similarly, Drew Dileo, four catches, none under fifteen yards, there when you needed him, and four critical holds.  When you need a new hero to step to the fore, there you go with the man wearing the slot ninja #9.
• I will stand by this: Michigan students weren't rushing the field for beating Michigan State, they were rushing the field for having win the 900th game in school history.  It's what you do when you win 900 games as a program.  You can't prove otherwise.  It has happened every time a school has won 900 games.
  
• Welcome home Paul.  Big Jon Falk may need to put a call in to Rick Dale of Rick's Restorations, because Paul's looking a little rough after four years in the wild.
  
• Another night game, this time with Nebraska where we might be the fifth or sixth most exciting sporting event in that slot from a national perspective.   Don't care.