20

It was not 20 years ago today. 20 years + 4 days ago was the first time I reported to Revelli Hall for Band Week, and I had no business being there.

First, I have never been more than a passable trumpet player. I was first chair in high school my senior year, but we only had 4 trumpets in the band and I was the only senior.

Second, I had never been in a marching band before. My high school didn't have one; we just had a pep band that played at football and basketball games. When my best friend Chris and I got invited to do Crisler Concert we had to go into one of the school's storage spaces and find an old uniform that smelled like mothballs and the oil crisis.

Third, despite what my dad thinks, I've never been much of an athlete. I have terrible exercise-induced asthma and poor fine motor control. I'm a good skier (for a state without real mountains) and an OK JV tennis player, mostly because fewer people play those sports.

Given these major blemishes on my application, I did what any mediocre white guy would do: I went ahead anyway and trusted that somehow things would work out in my favor.  And they did, but not in the way I expected.

I arrived on campus the night before freshmen were to report for Band Week. I had no computer and the lab in the basement of Markley wouldn't let me login. I knew how to get to Revelli via South University, State, and Hill, and the only way to get breakfast I knew of was Bagel Fragel on South U.

When I reported in the morning, I learned I was supposed to have been sent a VHS tape of basic marching band things to practice and a piece of music for auditions. I had neither. We were assigned lockers, instruments, music, ranks, and rank leaders. We practiced music and practiced attention, tired our best to remember each other's names and then we were dismissed.

I have never had a more vivid dream than I did that night, and it recurred throughout the night. It was the simplest dream possible: I heard our drum major, Gregg Whitmore, shout "DRILL THE POSITION OF ATTENTION!" and then I was awake and actually crouched on the floor, waiting for "EVERYBODY UP!" to reach my sodden, addled brain, but it never came. I couldn't find my watch or an alarm clock. I didn't have a cell phone. I was panicked and I couldn't prove that it was OK to go back to sleep. This happened four or five times during the night. In the morning, my only solace was that my roommate wasn't in the band, so there were no witnesses.

I was in over my head, but being overwhelmed by the Michigan Marching Band was the only thing keeping my from being overwhelmed by the University of Michigan, so I never seriously thought about quitting. Not when my best friend quit, not when the rest of the band got to campus and let me know how far behind I really was, and not when I (correctly) knew I was not ready for First Look.

I wish I could say I worked hard, improved and eventually locked down a spot on the field every week. What happened instead? I worked hard, I improved, and eventually I spent 3 years almost entirely in the reserves. I made the travel roster for one away trip (MSU '01) and zero bowl games. I might have done better my fourth year, but the senior design course in my field was only offered in the fall and would have conflicted twice a week with marching band. You might think I'd be disappointed in my time in the MMB, and you'd be completely wrong.

Up to that point in life, I'd coasted on natural aptitude and fortunate circumstances. The band was the first time I learned that work itself can be the point, how to manage my time, and how to be genuinely happy when other people achieve your dreams and you don't. I found a home and friends when I needed them, taking me out of my natural inclination to either lean on my high school friends or hole up in my dorm room. My only regret is not doing more.

Local Student Seeks Career In Entertainment/Social Marketing/Something With Famous People

This is going to fail.

1. The project, as presented, does not sound like it's designed to replace "The Victors". An "additional thematic song" sounds more like "In the Big House" redux. This is less bad than replacing "The Victors", but only in the way that measles is less bad than smallpox.
2. The project comes across mostly as a way for the students involved to meet famous people. David Banner's name has been invoked, perhaps with his agreement, and the campaign's representative stated “The goal of this song is to get a lot of big names that are associated with the University.” Note that the goal of this project is not to make a good song that represents the university well.
3. As of now, there is neither a tune nor lyrics for this project.
4. Somebody "conceptualized" the project.
5. The Hail and Unite group is seeking $2,750, with $1,750 going toward producing the promo video for the crowdfunding campaign (Of course there's a crowdfunding campaign) and $1,000 to go toward getting a celebrity or two to appear in the video.

I would say it is NOT impossible that a project like this could make a positive contribution to the University. But I think that this project is going about it in completely the wrong way.

To put it simply to its backers, you're going about it backward. If you're interested in anything more than networking with famous people, you have to get the song right first. At least make a demo, bro. Every major piece of music in the MMB canon was written or arranged by a student. Yes, Louis Elbel wrote "The Victors" in 1898, and Lawton and Moore wrote "Varsity" in 1911. But Joe Carl and Al Ahronheim wrote and arranged "Let's Go Blue" in the mid-'70's, and it spread like wildfire throughout the country. My point is, maybe get some lyrics and music down before you tweet at Eminem or ask for funding from CSG.

D.B. Does Dallas

The firestorm of rage that erupted after the Marching Band announced it would be not accompanying the football team to the Cowboys Classic has now metastasized into an inferno of anger directed at Dave Brandon over the terms of the agreement to appear in the Jerrydome. Not only does it appear that there will be sufficient revenue to pay for the MMB to make the trip to Dallas, it appears that there will not be sufficient revenue to justify sacrificing a home game to the Cowboys when a home-and-home with Alabama was a possibility.

If only there were a movie in which the protagonists needed to raise money in order to participate in the pageantry of football in Dallas, Texas that we could compare this unfortunate situation to! In fact, due to a recent Ontario Court of Appeals ruling, we can modestly propose that Deborah Benton had a pretty good idea and that making up the revenue shortfall is as simple as renting a building in Windsor. However, in Dave Brandon's athletic department, we stoop only to metaphorical prostitution, not literal.

So, as a service to the athletic department and the marching band, we suggest some options for raising additional revenue, after the jump.

You can't spell THE BRAND without THE BAND

This is Michigan fergawdsakes. We send the band. Because this is Michigan.