It's a Good Life if You Don't Weaken

The past and the future together. (Patrick Barron)

When the colour of the night

And all the smoke for one life

Gives way to shaky movements

Improvisational skills

A forest of whispering speakers

Let's swear that we will

Get with the times

In a current health to stay

Let's get friendship right

Get life day-to-day

In the forget-yer-skates dream

Full of countervailing woes

Its diverse-as-ever seen

Proceeding on a need-to-know

In a face so full of meaning

As to almost make it glow

For a good life we just might have to weaken

And find somewhere to go

Go somewhere we're needed

Find somewhere to grow

Grow somewhere we're needed  

--"It's a Good Life if You Don't Weaken" by The Tragically Hip, the first single from the band's 2002 album In Violet Light

 It's almost charming to look back at my previous column and see the level of unknowingness in the final paragraph about the December that was about to transpire.  I am choosing not to recap it because if you're reading this, you're well-versed in a "December to Dismember."  But here we are, at the end of 2025, in a Citrus Bowl of a pair of blue-bloods that ABC even said in its opening, disappointed to not meet their standard.

I'm not even sure what there is to say about this game.  Cole Sullivan made some big plays, including forcing a turnover on an early Texas kick return, which led to a Bryce Underwood to Kendrick Bell TD that needed to be replay reviewed, but was ruled a touchdown.  Andrew Marsh looked good on kick return duty and made some nice catches in his Michigan debut in the #3 jersey.  Michigan even had a fourth quarter lead thanks to a Bryce scramble that made the pylon (which again, needed a replay review to confirm).

It's just that everything unraveled from there.  Bryce threw a pair of awful picks. The defense got home on Arch Manning only to whiff on the tackle, which allowed a drive to stay alive and Texas to take the lead. Everyone on the defense missed again on Arch, who scrambled for a 60-yard touchdown, things of that nature. 

In the words of Futurama:

When the colour of the night

And all the smoke in one life

Gives way to shaky movements

Improvisational skills

In the forest of whispering speakers

Let's swear that we will

Get with the times

In a current health to stay

Let's get friendship right

Get life day-to-day

In the forget-yer-skates dream

Full of countervailing woes

In diverse-as-ever scenes

Proceeding on a need-to-know

In a face so full of meaning

As to almost make it glow

For a good life we just might have to weaken

And find somewhere to go

Go somewhere we're needed

Find somewhere to grow

Grow somewhere we're needed

Find somewhere to go

Let's go somewhere we're needed

Find somewhere to grow

We grow where we are needed

'Cause in the forget-yer-skates dream

You can hang your head in woe

And this diverse-as-ever scene

Know which way to go

But, ultimately, none of this matters. This was the required denouement of a season that never felt right.  Which, admittedly, feels like curve-fitting based on facts now in evidence, but I see it more as explaining the vibes, which were papered over but rancid.  Wink will be gone.  There will be a new OC, there might be other new coaches, but the key thing is that the 2026 season will mark a chance to start over, with a coach who has plenty of experience but no ties to Michigan football.  It might completely implode, which, maybe that is the price of climbing to the apex of the college football world again, but even if it's just a coach who puts a team out there that no one is worried about the staff having some kind of embarrassing (or hideous) scandal (hopefully, again, if its in the walls, you have to make sure you fumigate) and hopefully a team that is focused on football.    Let's grow somewhere we're needed.  Until Western Michigan.

Tales from the Spreadsheet

• 41-27 IS a Scorigami!
  
• 47,361 were in attendance for the game (Michigan's smallest bowl game crowd since the Outback Bowl following the 2017 season against South Carolina).
  
  
• Michigan moves to 0-3-0 all-time against the University of Texas.  This is Michigan's third loss to Texas in the 2000s, each under a different head coach.
• Michigan falls to 2-3-0 all-time on December 31 (wins against UCLA in the 1981 Bluebonnet and 2024 Reliaquest.  It is Michigan's first non-CFP loss on NYE.)
  
  
• Michigan falls to 46-8-0 when scoring exactly 27 points.
• Michigan moves to 1-4-0 all-time when allowing 41 points to the opposition (including that Peach Bowl against Florida, and the Cowboys Classic against Alabama).
• Michigan has lost 23 games all-time by precisely 14 points, the most recent example being the 2024 Illinois game.