Our Helmet's Got Wings!

(As seen on Awful Announcing, originally posted at I Want my BTN.)

This is the latest Big Ten Network ad called "Recruiting". Though usually I find the prospect of considering what a coach says to a potential recruit to be mildly disturbing, the comedy factor here is just brilliant. Watch, and then come back for analysis/observations after the jump:

Observations:

1). Coach Rod's lapel pin is, easily, the biggest of the 11 coaches. The Block M just pops.

His chin rub does give the feel of "What is it going to take to get you into this Ford Flex today?"

2). Mark Dantonio gets slot three (Just after Sweater Vest and Wizard Hat, but ahead of ZOOK and JoePa).

In his second shot, he proceeds to scare the hell out of me. The way he says "We've got a great program here" is half-Marine Corps recruiter, half Daily Affirmation.

You just know that John L. would have slapped himself, the kid, the camera man, and the plate of brownies. Meanwhile, Coach Carr would have just lulled the kid with his laconic Tennessee-born charm and told him he was "tremendous".

3). ZOOK is very low key in the ad, but just wait until they talk about water skiing. That or it's just a patented Zook mind trick for, to show the real thing on television would be considered an unfair advantage for the Illini.

4). Pat Fitzgerald feels a little bit like a Northwestern version of Herbie. It's just a purple Herbie vibe.

5). Suits 10, Polo Shirts 1. I know it's your last season Mr. Tiller, but come on, you've gotta dress the part.

6). Coach Rod, so confident in the fact that "You know, we're the winningest program in history" he can snag one of the brownies off the table while saying it.

7). I love JoePa. I mean, he clearly is like your great uncle who was way more fun than your grandpa and always had better stories and you were just bummed that you only got to see him once a year at the family reunion.

8). Effective communication tip #98: When pointing out that your school's offensive philosophy will be changing to the spread, make sure you gesture appropriately with your hands to sell it.

9). Joe Tiller: "We're the cradle of quarterbacks!" Sure, but just don't mention that Kyle Orton went there.

10). Oh who is that guy who replaced Hep? Come on....Come on,,,,Bill Lynch! That's his name. Sorry about that IU.

11). Kirk Ferentz, man who clearly does not want to be there.

12). I like Fitzgerald's "I thought you told me you want to be the best" switcheroo motivational technique. Don't sell, challenge the kid to prove himself to you with you providing the tools to do it.

13). Zook: "You like Roses?" The answer to that is yes, which is way more than most Illini can probably say at the moment.

14). Coach Rod: "Look, our helmet's got wings!" I just get the feeling Coach Rod doesn't know what to do with himself. After all those years of trying to sell living in Morgantown and selling West Virginia as an up and coming program, he now gets to sell Michigan. It's like selling the iPhone, the hype is built in, you just need to make sure the customers stay happy and the press stays positive.

14a). As Awful Announcing correctly posits, you just know that Coach Rod uses that exact line as a selling point, and that it is a major selling point.

15). "Come to Penn STATE!" Through gritted teeth, JoePa closes the deal! He's also getting very close to where you need a subtitles for him.

16). Your face time winners: Perhaps not surprisingly, it's "master recruiters" ZOOK! and Coach Rod, who each make five appearances.

Least seen coach? Surprisingly, Coach Tressel makes just three appearances in the whole ad, but he does lead things off. Tiller and Ferentz also check in at three. Given the brevity of his shots, I think we have to go with Coach Ferentz here.