Monday, October 04, 2010

Forty-Two Ways to Beat Indiana

Forty-Two Ways to Beat Indiana

(with so many apologies to Paul Simon)

"The problem is all with your defense", they said to me
The answer is the offense, as you'll see logically
We'd like to help you in your struggle for bowl eligibility
There must be forty-two ways to beat Indiana

They said I should look at the stats they've accrued.
Furthermore, what about the QB's ability to elude
But they repeated themselves about this opening Big Ten feud
There must be forty-two ways to beat Indiana
Forty-two ways to beat Indiana

Just cut it this instant, Vincent
Hit the jets hard, Denard
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free

Put us up by seven, Kevin
You don't need to ponder therein
Just burn that Hoosier, Junior
And get yourself free

Just cut it this instant, Vincent
Hit the jets hard, Denard
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free

Put us up by seven, Kevin
You don't need to ponder therein
Just burn that Hoosier, Junior
And get yourself free

They said it grieves us so to see you in such pain
We wish there was something we could do to make you smile again
I said I appreciate that and would you please explain
About the forty-two ways

They said "Why don't we just watch it the U?", to no one's delight
And I believe in the evening, you'll begin to see the light
And then they smiled and I realized they were probably right
There must be forty-two ways to beat Indiana
Forty-two ways to beat Indiana

Just cut it this instant, Vincent
Hit the jets hard, Denard
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free

Put us up by seven, Kevin
You don't need to ponder therein
Just burn that Hoosier, Junior
And get yourself free

Just cut it this instant, Vincent
Hit the jets hard, Denard
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free

Put us up by seven, Kevin
You don't need to ponder therein
Just burn that Hoosier, Junior
And get yourself free

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