Tuesday, October 31, 2006

We Didn't Say This Was Actually Clever...

I'm sure that, if you've been to a Michigan game...ever, or even spent enough time on the internet, you've seen the shirts that make unfounded accusations regarding Ann Arbor's virtue. Well, your correspondent here at The Hoover Street Rag has spent all of ten minutes coming up with slightly more high-minded responses.

COLUMBUS IS A
MASS-MURDERER

In 1492, Columbus crossed the Atlantic and set foot for the first time in the West Indies. His voyages left a legacy of disease and war and eventually some 90% of the native inhabitants would be killed. That's why they named the city after him.

MADISON
IS A MIDGET

Author of the Federalist Papers, the Constitution, and a two-term president, James Madison was wee and frail. At 5'4", he was easily our nation's most diminutive commander-in-chief.

EAST LANSING
IS AN OPEN SEWER

Sometimes you just want to get straight to the point.

Even if that were true, Bloomington still wouldn't know what to do with her.

A little wordy for a t-shirt slogan, yes, but I still like it. A little more subtle than "Bloomington Is Lousy In Bed", and a direct response.

Other ideas: Champaign Is Flat, Minneapolis St. Paul Is A Stripper, State College Is Non-Descript...

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